The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Miss Demeanour on April 14, 2009, 08:40:08 AM
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Many many months ago a friend of mine asked me if I would look after her 3 children as she and her husband were taking her mother away for a few days for a treat as she has had a bit of a tough time of late.
At the time it seemed so far off and I was only too happy to say of course - not a problem doh:
The week has arrived sad32: sad32: sad32:
So from Friday I will now be in the possession of 4 children (including The Brat). The youngest of which is 3 , 1 boy creature of 8, who likes to run around, play Rugby tackles and the like and 2 THW's ..... scared2:
What must I have been thinking noooo:
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point: point: point: point:
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Who, what, why, where, when HOW? whistle:
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I wonder if she will survive. Christ, she may have to change nappies and suchlike. And think of all the drreadful mess noooo: And noise noooo: And the fighting noooo: And bedtime chaos noooo:
Popcorn:
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The little one doesn't sleep beyond 6am shocked003
The 2 THW don't go to bed until about midnight noooo:
The boy runs around until he tires himself out or finds a TV unattended whereby he can play his computer games.
I am staying at their house and not mine which is some consolation as it is mahoosive ...however I may be taking a bottle of voddy with me noooo:
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At their house? Make sure you have internet access ~ we don't want to miss out on the fun.
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Don't worry Uncle M....I will need as many shoulders as possible to cry on noooo:
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And we all need a good laff! happy088
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And we all need a good laff! happy088
lol: lol: lol:
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I have now been told I will need to come over on Thursday as they have an O god it's early flight to catch and will need to leave the house whilst we are all asleep.
I guess I should check to see how much luggage they are taking for this 'mini ' trip rubschin:
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I have now been told I will need to come over on Thursday as they have an O god it's early flight to catch and will need to leave the house whilst we are all asleep.
I guess I should check to see how much luggage they are taking for this 'mini ' trip rubschin:
Indeed...
Perhaps they got the lotto up and are fleeing the country.... whistle:
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And pack the kids into it
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Many many months ago a friend of mine asked me if I would look after her 3 children as she and her husband were taking her mother away for a few days for a treat as she has had a bit of a tough time of late.
At the time it seemed so far off and I was only too happy to say of course - not a problem doh:
The week has arrived sad32: sad32: sad32:
So from Friday I will now be in the possession of 4 children (including The Brat). The youngest of which is 3 , 1 boy creature of 8, who likes to run around, play Rugby tackles and the like and 2 THW's ..... scared2:
What must I have been thinking noooo:
whacky115 happy100
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And pack the kids into it
lol:
Then I could send out the party invites and enjoy the weekend in someone else's house they way it should be lol:
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Sorry - also forgot that apart from the kids they are animal lovers.
I also will have 2 cats to attend to , 1 hamster, goldfish and a rabbit.
1 of these is bound to die under my supervision noooo:
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Better and better.
Popcorn:
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Sorry - also forgot that apart from the kids they are animal lovers.
I also will have 2 cats to attend to , 1 hamster, goldfish and a rabbit.
1 of these is bound to die under my supervision noooo:
Lets see... rubschin:
Cats 100:1
Rabbit 10:1
Hamster and goldfish Evens
whistle:
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Maybe I should delegate responsibility for feeding and caring of the pets to the kids rubschin:
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Maybe I should delegate responsibility for feeding and caring of the pets to the kids rubschin:
rubschin:
Cats - 20:1
Rabbit - Evens
Hamster and Goldfish 11 to 2 on
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Popcorn:
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I have agreed to take them all swimming on Friday, the one with all the slides, flumes and stuff - in the immortal words of Nick - what could possibly go wrong eeek:
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lol: Plan it carefully Miss D and you could go home with less than you went with. eveilgrin:
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Are you taking your bikini? eyes:
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Are you taking your bikini? eyes:
I would imagine I would wear one of them yes doh:
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At least the brats will be clean after all that, um, fluming
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And tired hopefully whistle:
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No, just hyperactive eveilgrin:
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Stockpiling bottles of Night Nurse (original drowsy formula) as we speak.
Adequate dosage applied every 4 hours should control any signs of hyperactivity eveilgrin:
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Piriton is good too!
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Warning shots to the head with a .357 magnum is good too, or threats of having Gary Glitter to babysit, assisted by his two tooth fairies Michael Jackson and Michael Barrymore might keep them quiet.. noooo:
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Warning shots to the head with a .357 magnum is good too, or threats of having Gary Glitter to babysit, assisted by his two tooth fairies Michael Jackson and Michael Barrymore might keep them quiet.. noooo:
eeek:
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Warning shots to the head with a .357 magnum is good too, or threats of having Gary Glitter to babysit, assisted by his two tooth fairies Michael Jackson and Michael Barrymore might keep them quiet.. noooo:
Surely Barrymore would be in the swimming pool trying to clear a blockage?
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whistle:
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But he wasn't there ...didn't see anything....doesn't know anything....what swimming pool noooo:
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So, when do you take charge?
Popcorn:
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In about 4 hours...... sad32:
I have also been given their activity itinerary for the weekend (apart from swimming tomorrow ) - dance classes for the eldest Saturday and Sunday morning, rugby for the boy Saturday - also going to his friends Saturday afternoon . The Brat has a laser quest party on Saturday as well . I think I may need to get my clones out eeek:
She is leaving me a signed blank cheque for the take away on Saturday night - what a fool eveilgrin:
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And don't forget the baby. It will cry day and night noooo:
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She is quite a bright little kid and likes to play on the piano when she is not asking you to read stories or talking constantly to you when sat on your lap, clung to your leg etc sad32: sad32: sad32:
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Ah yes, but she will pine for her absent parents and scream and scream and scream noooo:
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Yes and very loudly, I hate other peoples rug rats
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why. oh why oh why sad32: sad32: sad32:
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And I guess the boy may get injured at rugby so that's a night in A&E noooo:
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And the THW brats will go AWOL. That's certain noooo:
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And I will just sit quietly ...rocking in my chair and talking to myself noooo:
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With a red faced screaming three year old clamped to your leg noooo:
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Your such a comfort with your kind, supportive words lol:
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Take disinfectant
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Take disinfectant
And plasters like...
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Ear plugs and lots and lots of vino
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Ear plugs and lots and lots of vino
And some more plasters too... noooo:
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And a mop
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Did I forget to say that they are fussy eaters...none of them like the same bloody thing angry041:
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Weather is going to be shite ....and they have one of those maahooosive trampolines in the garden that the kids are always on. there is going to be mud everywhere ...
piano playing
kids arguing
planned activities that I am going to get wrong
crying and screaming (mine)
I can feel my palpitations coming on noooo:
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noooo:
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Popcorn:
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Popcorn:
Good idea Nick... make popcorn, stick a video on and go out... whistle:
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And send in some pizzas
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There is not a cat in hell's chance that you could get all of them watching the same type of film noooo:
The youngest's favourite is Peppa Pig
The Boy likes anything Star Wars related
The 2 THW's has to have gorgeous boy kinds in it or smutty humour
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Popcorn:
Mrs Nick wants a 'family day out' tomorrow. I must go and make some Molotov Cocktails
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And send in some pizzas
And get the carpets cleaned on Monday like... whistle:
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Popcorn:
Mrs Nick wants a 'family day out' tomorrow. I must go and make some Molotov Cocktails
We've got a family day out tomorrow... it is the funeral like... noooo:
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Wooden floors downstairs - thank God
New carpets on the stairs though scared2:
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Popcorn:
Mrs Nick wants a 'family day out' tomorrow. I must go and make some Molotov Cocktails
We've got a family day out tomorrow... it is the funeral like... noooo:
Do you want to swap ?
Seriously though - hope tomorrow goes as well as can be . Horrible occassions noooo:
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I prefer funerals to weddings. More relaxed for some reason rubschin:
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I prefer funerals to weddings. More relaxed for some reason rubschin:
Nobody minds if you get bladdered at a funeral... noooo:
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Except LL scared2:
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Except LL scared2:
eeek:
scared2:
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Better take a hip flask.
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Anyhoo...
Miss D has obviously left the building...
She has just e-mailed me this picture of her progress so far...
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2Fgx1dqRWi.jpg&hash=068b32fa2abb73a168dec210503a200eb1a5a4ab) (http://www.postimage.org/)
whistle:
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It's going very well
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It's going very well
That's what she said... not a single plaster needed yet... noooo:
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Except for her, of course
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Except for her, of course
Plastered you think...? eastdrink048
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If she has any sense. noooo:
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When my two eldest children were quite young, 6 and 7ish, they used to play at painting my car, water and paintbrushes for them, a quiet interlude for me cloud9: One Sunday they asked if they could paint my car and of course I said 'yes' a an hour or so later daughter No 1 appeared covered in emulsion....My car had been properly painted. It actually made me giggle.... redface: Never did manage to get the pale pink paint completely removed from the dimpled dark grey of the front bumper.
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Another e-mail... eeek:
Apparently there is a problem with the new stair carpet now...
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq29MUCA.jpg&hash=d3880de3c1af7d4263a395b4b8890fbd80ad453b) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq29MUCA)
That's blood that is... noooo:
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When my two eldest children were quite young, 6 and 7ish, they used to play at painting my car, water and paintbrushes for them, a quiet interlude for me cloud9: One Sunday they asked if they could paint my car and of course I said 'yes' a an hour or so later daughter No 1 appeared covered in emulsion....My car had been properly painted. It actually made me giggle.... redface: Never did manage to get the pale pink paint completely removed from the dimpled dark grey of the front bumper.
I take it they didn't live to 7 and 8ish...? eeek:
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Indeed they did, now 26 and 24 scared2: they had asked I had said yes....
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Is this a good time for the itinerant Irish painter joke?
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No
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No
Poof!
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I wonder how she is coping noooo:
Popcorn:
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I wonder how she is coping noooo:
Popcorn:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fculturalshifts.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2Felise%2Fgin_lane.jpg&hash=04c93a9192a2bf231d0402bde1883b8be9e569bc)
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She has done a Michael Jackson on that kid
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5.45 the litle one got up .....
5.45 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She was running around last night and banged her face into the edge of a door - no plasters required just hoping the bump isn't too large scared2:
Going swimming today is now also proving to be a problem as it is an inconvenient time of the month for one of the THW evil: . I have suggested they take a couple of magazines full of the normal crap they like reading and sit it out whilst the rest of us go swimming but she is none too impressed and wants to do something together. Oh FFS - why can these things just never be simple evil:
I am commencing work on the basement as we speak - the sound insulation should be in by teatime evil:
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Just finished the breakfast orders ...every bloody one of them different evil:
1 wanted cereal - not a probem
1 wanted crumpets - not a problem
1 wanted french toast - mmmmm
The boy wanted bacon , eggs, grilled tomatoes , beans and toast noooo:
Someone is pushing their luck already evil:
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Popcorn:
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French toast = bread toasted one side only IIRC?
Half the time therefore, so what's your problem then you tiresome old moose? ::)
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Just finished the breakfast orders ...every bloody one of them different evil:
1 wanted cereal - not a probem
1 wanted crumpets - not a problem
1 wanted french toast - mmmmm
The boy wanted bacon , eggs, grilled tomatoes , beans and toast noooo:
Someone is pushing their luck already evil:
I hope they all got toast...? noooo:
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French toast = bread toasted one side only IIRC?
Half the time therefore, so what's your problem then you tiresome old moose? ::)
Noooo... French toast is bread with eggy mixture isn't it...?
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Thought so...
French toast (often known as eggy bread in parts of the United Kingdom, pain perdu in French, pain doré in French-speaking parts of Canada) is a popular breakfast food in North America, Europe, Bermuda and Brazil. French toast is made with bread and eggs. Milk is commonly added. According to what is popular in local cuisine, many of the spices that are added to bread or egg dishes are included in cooking. This versatile dish is often topped with sugar, butter, fruit, syrup, or other items.
Source (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/French_toast)
Bollocks to making that... noooo:
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You are correct BM
Once soaked in eggy mix then required frying evil:
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You are correct BM
Once soaked in eggy mix then required frying evil:
So, plates, frying pan, bowl for mixing, etc. noooo:
I don't think so! eveilgrin:
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The little one is now banging the shit out of the piano - sorry I meant trying to play baa baa black sheep....
she has also been strumming a guitar this morning ...I mean torturing my ears.
I need valium
It is p1ssing down with rain
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The little one is now banging the shit out of the piano - sorry I meant trying to play baa baa black sheep....
she has also been strumming a guitar this morning ...I mean torturing my ears.
I need valium
It is p1ssing down with rain
Can't you suggest a game to play...? rubschin:
Egyptian Mummies for instance... eveilgrin:
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Ring up social services and abandon them. Simple really ey? happy088
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I guess she has taken them out now. I am sure they are all having a lovely time eveilgrin:
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3 out of 4 of them don't want to go swimming evil:
The little one does - she is now crying and stropping because we have said we are going to do something else.
I am not having the best of days noooo:
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3 out of 4 of them don't want to go swimming evil:
The little one does - she is now crying and stropping because we have said we are going to do something else.
I am not having the best of days noooo:
happy100
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You could organise some games, like
eveilgrin:
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Lock them all in a cupboard for the duration this can be disguised as 'hide and pretend to seek'
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Or Miss D could hide (in a pub about a mile away) and they could try to find her, like
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Bobbing for apples might get rid of a few....
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It's 7:10pm ... no news is
good news is scared2: No sounds of police choppers heading that way or local news bulletins...
All must be cloud9:
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Doubtful. Miss D will be pissed and they will be running riot and all covered in spaghetti hoops or summat noooo:
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I am shattered....went out for the afternoon. Got soaked, spent a fortune evil:
Come back to have to do dinner - again multiple choices for the discerning diners evil:
Baths for the littler ones...
They are now holding a show - which I have had to sit down and watch and clap at the appropriate times and are currently having a disco in their room - the boy is still superglued to his Nintendo DS noooo:
I am ready for bed ....they look like they are ready to start all over again cry:
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Sarf London's Got Talent rubschin:
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Cats - how have they survived this long evil:
The 2 feral feline four legged monsters that live in this place are a nightmare.
They are constantly in and out all day long...there is a large extension built onto the house with concertina glass doors leading out onto the decking - so obviously no chance of a cat flap noooo:. They sit outside and claw and meow until your patience wears thin. Theirs never seems to be tired of anything Banghead 5 minutes later you go through the same procedure again.
Last night 1 didn't want to come in - the other did. They have their own little house outside as well so no bother if it didn't Shrugs:
When going to bed apperntly you have to leave your bedroom door open as they like to roam .....ferk right off i thought and closed mine firmly.
Just settled into my sleep to hear clawing and scratching at the door ...this then set off the outside attack eeek:. The other cat approached from the pitch roof onto the outside of the bedroom window and shrieking loudly about it's desire to get in evil:
So stomped out of bed - opened bedroom window first - let in the cat...open bedroom door second let in the other cat - left door slightly ajar ain defeat and went back to bed.
Snuggled into my duvet when a symphony of cat bells started resounding around the house. They were obviously vampire cats and slept all day , played all night. On their glittery collars they each had a little bell - how very quaint at 2 o clock in the morning evil:
They were running from one end of the house to the other and pouncing on each other. Then using the stairs for the sniper attack. This went on forever.
Finally the noise subsided , my eyelids closed...nice thoughts began to enter my head once more when one of the bastard things used a stealth approach to get onto the bed and sit right next to my head purring. How it didn't get flung out of the window I don't know.
I pushed it down further across the bed. Conceded complete and utter defeat and went back to sleep. An hour later the friggin thing was up and at the bedroom window and wanting to be let out again. God only knows where the other one was. It got flung out and the requests later on to be let back in again were ignored this time. I have probably been reported to the RSPCA by now evil: evil: evil:
Why do people have pets ???
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Cats - how have they survived this long evil:
The 2 feral feline four legged monsters that live in this place are a nightmare.
They are constantly in and out all day long...there is a large extension built onto the house with concertina glass doors leading out onto the decking - so obviously no chance of a cat flap noooo:. They sit outside and claw and meow until your patience wears thin. Theirs never seems to be tired of anything Banghead 5 minutes later you go through the same procedure again.
Last night 1 didn't want to come in - the other did. They have their own little house outside as well so no bother if it didn't Shrugs:
When going to bed apperntly you have to leave your bedroom door open as they like to roam .....ferk right off i thought and closed mine firmly.
Just settled into my sleep to hear clawing and scratching at the door ...this then set off the outside attack eeek:. The other cat approached from the pitch roof onto the outside of the bedroom window and shrieking loudly about it's desire to get in evil:
So stomped out of bed - opened bedroom window first - let in the cat...open bedroom door second let in the other cat - left door slightly ajar ain defeat and went back to bed.
Snuggled into my duvet when a symphony of cat bells started resounding around the house. They were obviously vampire cats and slept all day , played all night. On their glittery collars they each had a little bell - how very quaint at 2 o clock in the morning evil:
They were running from one end of the house to the other and pouncing on each other. Then using the stairs for the sniper attack. This went on forever.
Finally the noise subsided , my eyelids closed...nice thoughts began to enter my head once more when one of the bastard things used a stealth approach to get onto the bed and sit right next to my head purring. How it didn't get flung out of the window I don't know.
I pushed it down further across the bed. Conceded complete and utter defeat and went back to sleep. An hour later the friggin thing was up and at the bedroom window and wanting to be let out again. God only knows where the other one was. It got flung out and the requests later on to be let back in again were ignored this time. I have probably been reported to the RSPCA by now evil: evil: evil:
Why do people have pets ???
We have three bastard cats from hell and no cat flap either.... noooo:
Fortunately, they all sleep in the guest bedroom... whistle:
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Fortunately, they all sleep in the guest bedroom... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
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Rugby today, I seem to recall
Popcorn:
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Rugby, dance classes and Laser Quest birthday party ... I hope I've dressed them all appropriately for the right event rubschin:
Be back some time this afternoon cry: cry: cry:
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Cats - how have they survived this long evil:
The 2 feral feline four legged monsters that live in this place are a nightmare.
They are constantly in and out all day long...there is a large extension built onto the house with concertina glass doors leading out onto the decking - so obviously no chance of a cat flap noooo:. They sit outside and claw and meow until your patience wears thin. Theirs never seems to be tired of anything Banghead 5 minutes later you go through the same procedure again.
Last night 1 didn't want to come in - the other did. They have their own little house outside as well so no bother if it didn't Shrugs:
When going to bed apperntly you have to leave your bedroom door open as they like to roam .....ferk right off i thought and closed mine firmly.
Just settled into my sleep to hear clawing and scratching at the door ...this then set off the outside attack eeek:. The other cat approached from the pitch roof onto the outside of the bedroom window and shrieking loudly about it's desire to get in evil:
So stomped out of bed - opened bedroom window first - let in the cat...open bedroom door second let in the other cat - left door slightly ajar ain defeat and went back to bed.
Snuggled into my duvet when a symphony of cat bells started resounding around the house. They were obviously vampire cats and slept all day , played all night. On their glittery collars they each had a little bell - how very quaint at 2 o clock in the morning evil:
They were running from one end of the house to the other and pouncing on each other. Then using the stairs for the sniper attack. This went on forever.
Finally the noise subsided , my eyelids closed...nice thoughts began to enter my head once more when one of the bastard things used a stealth approach to get onto the bed and sit right next to my head purring. How it didn't get flung out of the window I don't know.
I pushed it down further across the bed. Conceded complete and utter defeat and went back to sleep. An hour later the friggin thing was up and at the bedroom window and wanting to be let out again. God only knows where the other one was. It got flung out and the requests later on to be let back in again were ignored this time. I have probably been reported to the RSPCA by now evil: evil: evil:
Why do people have pets ???
Animals live outside. There are no exceptions. noooo:
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It is all going very well... whistle:
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noooo: noooo: noooo:
cry:
eastdrink048
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noooo: noooo: noooo:
cry:
eastdrink048
A good day was had by all then...? noooo:
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My tolerance levels have now run dry and have inverted evil:
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My tolerance levels have now run dry and have inverted evil:
Oh dear... time for the axe then? eveilgrin:
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Are they all still alive? scared2:
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Are they all still alive? scared2:
for now...
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Done a head count and all appears in order - for the moment . The night is young - unlike me . I feel about 90 cry:
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Done a head count and all appears in order - for the moment . The night is young - unlike me . I feel about 90 cry:
Have you worn them all out tho...? rubschin:
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They are having a water pistol fight out in the gardens and woods behind. I have the door closed and have poured myself a large one surrender:
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They are having a water pistol fight out in the gardens and woods behind. I have the door closed and have poured myself a large one surrender:
Good girl! happy088
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She has gone awfully quiet scared2:
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Day out to London Aquarium today ...didn't manage to lose any but got mugged by the little blighters for this , that and the other evil:
Still 3 hours and counting now.......there had better not be any plane delays evil:
Then it's looking forward to next weekend scared2:
Things I wish I'd never agreed to (part 2) noooo:
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Day out to London Aquarium today ...didn't manage to lose any but got mugged by the little blighters for this , that and the other evil:
Still 3 hours and counting now.......there had better not be any plane delays evil:
Then it's looking forward to next weekend scared2:
Things I wish I'd never agreed to (part 2) noooo:
And then your trip to Cyprus! cloud9: cloud9:
Things I wish I'd never agreed to (part 3) whistle:
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Day out to London Aquarium today ...didn't manage to lose any but got mugged by the little blighters for this , that and the other evil:
Still 3 hours and counting now.......there had better not be any plane delays evil:
Then it's looking forward to next weekend scared2:
Things I wish I'd never agreed to (part 2) noooo:
Popcorn:
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Some time ago I agreed to go with a friend on a trip to the Isle of Wight. She had paid for it , was driving over and wouldn't be very expensive etc . This is now this weekend coming.
It turns out this is actually a rugby tour that her bloke is taking part in eeek:
In our party alone there are now 12 of us going....we will be staying in a caravan eeek: eeek: eeek: ( not all 12 I hasten to add !!!! )
It has all been paid for I just have to turn up......and wear their rugby colours ( orange fecking T Shirts ) ..
A few of us girls are already organising splinter groups to escape lol:
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Have you ever been to the Isle of Wight? There is nowhere to escape to noooo:
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Nope never been - but I will find a way eveilgrin:
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Nope never been - but I will find a way eveilgrin:
Snoopy knows all the nooks and crannies on the island.
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Nope never been - but I will find a way eveilgrin:
Snoopy knows all the nooks and crannies on the island.
eeek: Head for Highdown there might be an old rocket lying around that you could escape on! Failing that get the ferry to Lymington and I will get the drinks in. 8)
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A few of us girls are already organising splinter groups to escape lol:
Fess up Miss D, this is your dress rehersal for Cyprus. whistle:
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I am not wearing an orange shirt in Cyprus lol:
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I am not wearing an orange shirt in Cyprus lol:
eeek:
It isn't all topless out there you know.
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Just as well Darwin, the sight of Old Baldy roaming around without a top on would probably send poor Miss D into therapy. whistle:
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I am not wearing an orange shirt in Cyprus lol:
Oh yes...? whistle:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq2uLgqi.jpg&hash=5df8627cae0fd659dbbf309b0fb44721a29ba003) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq2uLgqi)
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Rest assurred DS - I carry myself with dignity at all times happy001
Just don't like the colour orange noooo:
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Rest assurred DS - I carry myself with dignity at all times happy001
Just don't like the colour orange noooo:
You'll learn... eveilgrin:
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Rest assurred DS - I carry myself with dignity at all times happy001
Just don't like the colour orange noooo:
It isn't the only fruit you know.