The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Bar Wench on June 21, 2007, 11:40:57 AM
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I try and steer clear of them whenever possible. However, the recent visit of Mother Wench means I had no choice in the matter. I now have to attend two or three more in the next few weeks. sad24: There is no getting out of them. sad24:
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my in-laws depart for the States on Saturday.. 2 whole weeks without the mother-in-law ( often referred to as the Old Dragon )
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I have an in law visitation coming up. eeek: I can't remember when it is though. eeek:
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The mere mention of Mother in Law always brings to mind that Reggie Perrin clip of a Hippo.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.leonardrossiter.com%2Freginaldperrin%2Fhippo.jpg&hash=73cb8d42d632f150fbc7a53ab1d7d8f288e6b371)
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I try and steer clear of them whenever possible. However, the recent visit of Mother Wench means I had no choice in the matter. I now have to attend two or three more in the next few weeks. sad24: There is no getting out of them. sad24:
Yes here is, its called manflu. Bearing in mind that women never get that ill if you start showing all the symptoms then you can probably get away with not turning up both because you are in no shape to attend and so as not to pass it on eyes:
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I try and steer clear of them whenever possible. However, the recent visit of Mother Wench means I had no choice in the matter. I now have to attend two or three more in the next few weeks. sad24: There is no getting out of them. sad24:
I wouldn't bother - you'll see them all (bar one) at the next funeral. whistle:
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I like family funerals. We have had far too few of late.
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I like family funerals. We have had far too few of late.
Oh dear? what a thing to say? noooo:
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You haven't met my "family".
Some of them actually live in Norfolk. Others choose to live in Birmingham and one is high up in the Barrie Manilow Fan Club, having previously been high up in the Frankie Laine Fan Club. Do you get the picture? Oh and we have some Happy Clappies too.
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You haven't met my "family".
Some of them actually live in Norfolk. Others choose to live in Birmingham and one is high up in the Barrie Manilow Fan Club, have previously been high up int eh Frankie Laine Fan Club. Do you get the picture. Oh and we have some Happy Clappies too.
Nick, most of them are prolly dead by now... scared2:
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No. One lives on a barge.
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Offer to cook them a meal Nick, that should sort it out eyes:
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My wedding took place soon after the funeral for an uncle of mine. During the reception my eldest bother and my aunt (not the one who had just lost her husband) got talking and realised that the only time the whole family ever got together was at these occasions. They decided to arrange an annual family get-together spread over a long weekend. We've now been holding these now for the past 15 years.
They're held at my uncle's house in Suffolk because he has the space; even though half have to rough it in tents in the back garden. Everyone attends (on the pain of death) and we all have a superb time.
Unless your family is seriously dysfunctional (and few are) I'd recommend it.
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We have one on July 21st to tell the truth. I look forward to it, but only cos my cousin was in the Bonzos and they (barring Viv Stanshall) and the Temperance Seven will be there
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We have one on July 21st to tell the truth. I look forward to it, but only cos my cousin was in the Bonzos and they (barring Viv Stanshall) and the Temperance Seven will be there
Ah, The Bonzos - used to drive our old dog mad by playing Mrs Slaters Parrot, and then waiting for hell to break loose when the parrot kept changing from one speaker to the other. razz:
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Unless your family is seriously dysfunctional (and few are) I'd recommend it.
1) The Aunt adicted to plastic surgery and her poor anorexic daughter. (The normal daughter is on the Inca trail at the mo.)
2) The Wican Aunt with the possibly gay son and bitchy daughter.
3) The Lesbian Aunt whose partner of many years has just dumped her.
It ain't a recipe for a relaxing day out.
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No, but at least you'll have plenty to talk about. lol:
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I seem to have missed that one. Pity.
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No, but at least you'll have plenty to talk about. lol:
No, because although we all know these things we aren't allowed to mention them. Mr Wench has been given a free pass out of them this year. sad24:
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Unless your family is seriously dysfunctional (and few are) I'd recommend it.
1) The Aunt adicted to plastic surgery and her poor anorexic daughter. (The normal daughter is on the Inca trail at the mo.)
2) The Wican Aunt with the possibly gay son and bitchy daughter.
3) The Lesbian Aunt whose partner of many years has just dumped her.
It ain't a recipe for a relaxing day out.
Start a fight!
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Unless your family is seriously dysfunctional (and few are) I'd recommend it.
1) The Aunt adicted to plastic surgery and her poor anorexic daughter. (The normal daughter is on the Inca trail at the mo.)
2) The Wican Aunt with the possibly gay son and bitchy daughter.
3) The Lesbian Aunt whose partner of many years has just dumped her.
It ain't a recipe for a relaxing day out.
Start a fight!
That's my Brother's job. Mine is getting him out of the house after he has elbowed Wican Aunt in the face. eeek:
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It could be worse Wenchy, wiccan aunt could get completely bladdered and decide to go skyclad eeek:
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It could be worse Wenchy, wiccan aunt could get completely bladdered and decide to go skyclad eeek:
That happened at Granny's birthday two years ago. eeek: Last year I was in Spain.
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Unless your family is seriously dysfunctional (and few are) I'd recommend it.
1) The Aunt adicted to plastic surgery and her poor anorexic daughter. (The normal daughter is on the Inca trail at the mo.)
2) The Wican Aunt with the possibly gay son and bitchy daughter.
3) The Lesbian Aunt whose partner of many years has just dumped her.
It ain't a recipe for a relaxing day out.
I see you Jeremy Kyle Outlaws and raise you:
Alcoholic MIL, slept with one of her daughters boyfriends
FIL still living with MIL despite 10 years divorced
Wife's brother is actually her nephew (found out 2 years ago)
SIL1 three kids by different coloured parents, 1 in care, 2 living elsewhere
SIL2 on the game, driven to 'appointments' by her husband
All dole scrounging scumbags
Fuck, what have I done? scared2:
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Unless your family is seriously dysfunctional (and few are) I'd recommend it.
1) The Aunt adicted to plastic surgery and her poor anorexic daughter. (The normal daughter is on the Inca trail at the mo.)
2) The Wican Aunt with the possibly gay son and bitchy daughter.
3) The Lesbian Aunt whose partner of many years has just dumped her.
It ain't a recipe for a relaxing day out.
I see you Jeremy Kyle Outlaws and raise you:
Alcoholic MIL, slept with one of her daughters boyfriends
FIL still living with MIL despite 10 years divorced
Wife's brother is actually her nephew (found out 2 years ago)
SIL1 three kids by different coloured parents, 1 in care, 2 living elsewhere
SIL2 on the game, driven to 'appointments' by her husband
All dole scrounging scumbags
Fuck, what have I done? scared2:
surrender:
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Yikes. My sister just phoned.
"We are leaving about 10 and should be with you mid afternoon"
WTF is she on about? Then I remembered that 2 months ago she arranged to stay over here tonight en route to somewwhere or other. Completely forgot about it. Full day of work, car to clean (bloodstains) and house a complete tip. Oh and Mrs Nick doesn't know they are coming either.
Yikes Banghead
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Yikes. My sister just phoned.
"We are leaving about 10 and should be with you mid afternoon"
WTF is she on about? Then I remembered that 2 months ago she arranged to stay over here tonight en route to somewwhere or other. Completely forgot about it. Full day of work, car to clean (bloodstains) and house a complete tip. Oh and Mrs Nick doesn't know they are coming either.
Yikes Banghead
But you do have spare beds remember? point:
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Yikes. My sister just phoned.
"We are leaving about 10 and should be with you mid afternoon"
WTF is she on about? Then I remembered that 2 months ago she arranged to stay over here tonight en route to somewwhere or other. Completely forgot about it. Full day of work, car to clean (bloodstains) and house a complete tip. Oh and Mrs Nick doesn't know they are coming either.
Yikes Banghead
But you do have spare beds remember? point:
And dining tables and pots ?n pans-a-plenty!
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Mrs Nick doesn't know!!! You mean you didn't fill out the request form in triplicate and wait for confirmation!?!? scared2: Even Mr Wench knows better than that!
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Yikes. My sister just phoned.
"We are leaving about 10 and should be with you mid afternoon"
WTF is she on about? Then I remembered that 2 months ago she arranged to stay over here tonight en route to somewwhere or other. Completely forgot about it. Full day of work, car to clean (bloodstains) and house a complete tip. Oh and Mrs Nick doesn't know they are coming either.
Yikes Banghead
But you do have spare beds remember? point:
And dining tables and pots ?n pans-a-plenty!
Do you want me to put on my Dinner Jacket and come round to open doors and things?
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I wouldn?t even think of organising such a thing myself ? I always leave that to Mrs. Barman. But then we have guests that we can?t communicate with? redface:
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Doesn't speak well for Mrs Barman's organisational skills does it? I'd be in trouble if I organised a dinner party with tee total foreign guests. scared2:
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Doesn't speak well for Mrs Barman's organisational skills does it? I'd be in trouble if I organised a dinner party with tee total foreign guests. scared2:
But you visit his family in Wales .......... I fail to see the difference. confused:
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Good point. redface:
Have just been informed that I will be taking precious annual leave to go to Wales and celebrate Mr Wench's 30th in August. evil: They are all on sodding school holidays why can't they bloody come down here? Misery beckons. A 30th Birthday with precious little alcohol and me trying to whip up a fantastic meal in a kitchen that I hate with pans and utensils that haven't seen the light of day since the mid-eighties. evil:
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Doesn't speak well for Mrs Barman's organisational skills does it? I'd be in trouble if I organised a dinner party with tee total foreign guests. scared2:
But you visit his family in Wales .......... I fail to see the difference. confused:
happy001
Actually, if I?m honest they were lovely people and I quite enjoyed the challenge.
Return match on Sunday night.
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Good point. redface:
Have just been informed that I will be taking precious annual leave to go to Wales and celebrate Mr Wench's 30th in August. evil: They are all on sodding school holidays why can't they bloody come down here? Misery beckons. A 30th Birthday with precious little alcohol and me trying to whip up a fantastic meal in a kitchen that I hate with pans and utensils that haven't seen the light of day since the mid-eighties. evil:
Tell them you think you might be in calf and can't risk the journey or the heavy kitchen toil. eyes:
After the party say it was a false alarm. whistle: