The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on May 01, 2009, 11:32:34 AM
-
All nice and ready like happy088
-
Cheers - I shall pm you a code word that I will use when I post . That way you will know that it is me and I am not being forced to write something against my will or been overridden by a Cypriot Mod lol:
-
The whole pub is agog
Popcorn:
-
Codeword? eeek:
I hadn't thought of that.... rubschin:
-
The whole pub is agog
Popcorn:
Crickey! I haven't been so agog since the old King decided to inspect us prior to our posting to the Somme.
-
Codeword? eeek:
I hadn't thought of that.... rubschin:
The Brown Pig is Sneezing pass it on.
-
Broadsword calling Danny Boy ~ Broadsword calling Danny Boy
OR perhaps
'allo London, 'allo London ~ ziz is Night'awk calling London.
-
Miss D says: 'If no post for 36 hours call police'
evil:
-
Miss D says: 'If no post for 36 hours call police'
evil:
What should we call them? angel1
-
What should we call who ?
Or who should we call what ?
confused2:
-
Banghead What should we call the police? Banghead
IT'S A JOKE
-
oh evil:
Must have sun stroke already lol:
-
Miss D says: 'If no post for 36 hours call police'
evil:
What should we call them? angel1
Fuzz?
Have you ever beeen picked up by the fuzz?
No! But I bet it hurts.
TAXI!!!!!
-
Popcorn:
-
Have you ever beeen picked up by the fuzz?
No! But I bet it hurts.
TAXI!!!!!
Is it the same as being pulled over by the Peelers?
-
Popcorn:
-
What time is she due to land ?
-
She is on a cheap flight. Her parachute could be anywhere shrugs:
-
She is on a cheap flight. Her parachute could be anywhere shrugs:
If she's got one
-
She may have adapted her bikinis. And some string scared2:
-
Would that provide enough "Uplift" ~ answers please from anyone who has met the lady. whistle:
-
I couldn't possibly comment ... whistle:
Anyway, I think landing's after lunch. I always like landing after lunch, usually on the sofa.
-
Thats assuming she hasnt been hauled off into a side room for trying to take her axe on the plane. whistle:
-
With a rubber glove search Popcorn:
-
She should land in 35 minutes like... whistle:
-
scared2:
-
Where? Get binoculars
-
I reckon that she's been stopped due to heavy baggage and is unloading the various contraband that BM told her to smuggle in. Bye bye projector, blue ray discs, fish eye lense etc etc etc
Besides BM shouldn't you be driving to the airport!?!? eeek:
-
Wiil she pause at the top of the ramp and do a photo op? A regal wave to the natives always goes down well, along with some beads, mirrors, a few blankets and and axe. Before you know it she will be called the Great White Lady from across the ocean, and have all the mineral rights signed over to her in perpetuity. Did she pack a flag?
-
I reckon that she's been stopped due to heavy baggage and is unloading the various contraband that BM told her to smuggle in. Bye bye projector, blue ray discs, fish eye lense etc etc etc
Besides BM shouldn't you be driving to the airport!?!? eeek:
The flight is early... I should go really... scared2:
-
point:
Outnumbered from now on point:
-
LL isn't ready... Banghead
-
Not that I want to worry BM in any way but does anyone want to give odds on Miss D getting loads of embarrassing gossip about him from LL that she will post on here when she safely returns. whistle:
-
Not that I want to worry BM in any way but does anyone want to give odds on Miss D getting loads of embarrassing gossip about him from LL that she will post on here when she safely returns. whistle:
I have no fears in that regard... angel1
I've even installed Interweb access in Miss D's bedroom... whistle:
-
Not that I want to worry BM in any way but does anyone want to give odds on Miss D getting loads of embarrassing gossip about him from LL that she will post on here when she safely returns. whistle:
I have no fears in that regard... angel1
I've even installed Interweb access in Miss D's cell... whistle:
Corrected
-
Not that I want to worry BM in any way but does anyone want to give odds on Miss D getting loads of embarrassing gossip about him from LL that she will post on here when she safely returns. whistle:
I have fears in that regard... eeek:
I've even installed Interweb surveillance in Miss D's cell... whistle:
Corrected
Properly corrected Nick. whistle:
-
Popcorn:
-
Has anyone organised the row of hand shaking local dignatories, to welcome Miss D and will there be a band, and some soldiers to inspect? You have to have a band. Wouldn't be a proper visit without a band!
-
BM has a trombone. Broken.
-
Has anyone organised the row of hand shaking local dignatories, to welcome Miss D and will there be a band, and some soldiers to inspect? You have to have a band. Wouldn't be a proper visit without a band!
I'm sure there'll be much revelry GOS, worry not whistle:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq15ukG0.jpg&hash=d0c967f2e18a0a1b6fe2d7aa82c712ed8c7c967c) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq15ukG0)
-
All is well... whistle:
-
so far. ;)
-
I don't think I have enough wine Uncle... noooo:
-
I don't think I have enough wine Uncle... noooo:
redface: I forgot to tell you BM ...
-
I don't think I have enough wine Uncle... noooo:
redface: I forgot to tell you BM ...
I could barely move the trolley from the supermarket this morning too... noooo:
I shall be bankrupt Barman by Friday.... sad24:
-
Popcorn:
-
prolly nissed as pewts by now lol:
-
prolly nissed as pewts by now lol:
redface:
-
So..... flight on time?
Incidents so far?
Popcorn:
-
So..... flight on time?
Incidents so far?
Popcorn:
Flight early...
We were late... redface:
Bin boozin...
About to watch a movie... in the cinema like...
Miss D is lovely... redface:
-
Ahh... the celebrated Minema. I hope you've got the choccy ices? eveilgrin:
-
Ahh... the celebrated Minema. I hope you've got the choccy ices? eveilgrin:
We have mini magnums - for the interval like!!!
MD is totally fab....
This is LL over and out razz:
-
This is Miss D
HELP
-
Ahh... the celebrated Minema. I hope you've got the choccy ices? eveilgrin:
We have mini magnums - for the interval like!!!
MD is totally fab....
This is LL. Completely over the top and out of our skull's razz:
-
A timely correction Miss C lol:
MissD... Don't forget the emergency button on your mobile whistle:
-
This is Miss D
HELP
I think that a picture of Miss D holding a copy of todays paper should be posted daily, just so as we can sleep at night.
Well, not todays paper tomorrow or tomorrows paper the day after... surrender:
-
A timely correction Miss C lol:
MissD... Don't forget the emergency button on your mobile whistle:
That will be the button that instigates this will it?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq175H9J.jpg&hash=9876827c521b062e3d3ddd0d97db8620e93959a5) (http://www.postimage.org/)
-
A timely correction Miss C lol:
MissD... Don't forget the emergency button on your mobile whistle:
That will be the button that instigates this will it?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq175H9J.jpg&hash=9876827c521b062e3d3ddd0d97db8620e93959a5) (http://www.postimage.org/)
Posted it again petal ~ it didn't work first time
-
I think we get where you're coming from Miss C lol: Although the Pissouri Daily Bugle (Greek edition) may be somewhat esoteric for our regular patrons rubschin:
Yes, the button on the left eveilgrin:
-
Popcorn:
-
A timely correction Miss C lol:
MissD... Don't forget the emergency button on your mobile whistle:
That will be the button that instigates this will it?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq175H9J.jpg&hash=9876827c521b062e3d3ddd0d97db8620e93959a5) (http://www.postimage.org/)
Posted it again petal ~ it didn't work first time
Well, thank you kind sir. ;D
-
Don't speak too loudly - I am posting from my cell - think Barman was obviously an avid viewer of Prisoner Cell Block H scared2: The key is on the outside of my door eeek:
It's taken me about 5 minutes to remember what my password is to the site redface:
Arrived at airport to be greeted by ... no one sad24: Spent several moments surveying the audience before finally deciding he wasn't there. Some bloke came and asked if I was looking for him ...had to consider this for some time but just as I did BM came rushing in . He of course blames LL - but apparently he had to do his hair before he came out as it was a bit windy lol:
LL is lovely cloud9: cloud9: cloud9:
Bm is BM noooo:..good bloke really - invoke agreed code word protocol now whistle:
Watched a film tonight in the cine baaaaaa . Will need to go to a doctor tomorrow as I think I've cricked my neck cry:
We are going for a drive in the morning scared2: - do they have CSI Cyprus yet rubschin:
-
evil:
-
Congratulation on your arrival amongst the fuzzie wuzzies Miss D. The natives can be a bit fractious at times so dish out the beads, mirrors and axes sparingly. Do you have your own throne yet?thats the lead in line for Nick and Co.
-
Miss D ~ You can console yourself with the thought that you are being/will be much missed by your friends and followers back here in Blighty.
-
Will need to go to a doctor tomorrow as I think I've cricked my neck cry:
do they have CSI Cyprus yet rubschin:
What the heck did BM do to you, you poor thing !
-
What the heck did BM do to you, you poor thing !
Gave her some homebrew to sample & then crammed her in the minema prolly whistle:
-
Here... proof that Miss D is alive and well... Reading a newspaper in Limassol this morning... whistle:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVW_Ym0.jpg&hash=e41846e0337f0067ebebc4b65b23094774a1e455) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aVW_Ym0)
-
Whose divorce?
-
That could be anyone hiding behind the paper BM whistle:
-
We need a pic of her in her bikini frolicking in the pool, like
-
We need a pic of her in her bikini frolicking in the pool, like
It is too cold for the pool...
I'm sure that Pastis can confirm that is the top of Miss D's head... whistle:
-
We need a pic of her in her bikini frolicking in the pool, like
I certainly have not had nearly enough to drink for that lol:
-
I'd always pictured you as taller Miss D.
-
I think she is sitting down in the picture ::)
-
I think barmisspah? was making a joke ::) ::)
-
rubschin:
-
Duh
-
Miss D prepares for the poolside BBQ
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq1b6QV9.jpg&hash=93dc9440efebcdfffb6cd482b82665050df25db0) (http://www.postimage.org/)
-
Miss D prepares for the poolside BBQ
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq1b6QV9.jpg&hash=93dc9440efebcdfffb6cd482b82665050df25db0) (http://www.postimage.org/)
I would say where can I get a pair of those but Nick might think I was being serious lol:
-
Miss D prepares for the poolside BBQ
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq1b6QV9.jpg&hash=93dc9440efebcdfffb6cd482b82665050df25db0) (http://www.postimage.org/)
I would say where can I get a pair of those but Nick might think I was being serious lol:
BM is probably orgasmic at the sight of them.
-
We need a pic of her in her bikini frolicking in the pool, like
It is too cold for the pool...
I'm sure that Pastis can confirm that is the top of Miss D's head... whistle:
rubschin: Hmmm, a good likeness BM, and the back page headline would seem to be accurate. I shall have to pass it over to Forensics. whistle:
-
We need a pic of her in her bikini frolicking in the pool, like
It is too cold for the pool...
I'm sure that Pastis can confirm that is the top of Miss D's head... whistle:
rubschin: Hmmm, a good likeness BM, and the back page headline would seem to be accurate. I shall have to pass it over to Forensics. whistle:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVW_Ym0.jpg&hash=e41846e0337f0067ebebc4b65b23094774a1e455) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aVW_Ym0)
Didi she bite her nails that much before she arrived?
-
We need a pic of her in her bikini frolicking in the pool, like
It is too cold for the pool...
I'm sure that Pastis can confirm that is the top of Miss D's head... whistle:
rubschin: Hmmm, a good likeness BM, and the back page headline would seem to be accurate. I shall have to pass it over to Forensics. whistle:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVW_Ym0.jpg&hash=e41846e0337f0067ebebc4b65b23094774a1e455) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aVW_Ym0)
Didi she bite her nails that much before she arrived?
That wil be the French version of Miss D then. lol:
-
I see the afternoon edition carries a different headline eeek:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq1ce9QS.jpg&hash=0d6914417bc7495e05aedf0761102ed71a33d9b9) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq1ce9QS)
-
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
-
I see the afternoon edition carries a different headline eeek:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq1ce9QS.jpg&hash=0d6914417bc7495e05aedf0761102ed71a33d9b9) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq1ce9QS)
worthy: worthy:
-
I see the afternoon edition carries a different headline eeek:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq1ce9QS.jpg&hash=0d6914417bc7495e05aedf0761102ed71a33d9b9) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq1ce9QS)
happy001
I am so impressed Pastis don't suppose that you want to tell us how you did that do you?
-
I see the afternoon edition carries a different headline eeek:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq1ce9QS.jpg&hash=0d6914417bc7495e05aedf0761102ed71a33d9b9) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq1ce9QS)
happy001
I am so impressed Pastis don't suppose that you want to tell us how you did that do you?
Photoshop
-
Snoops knows his onions whistle:
-
I see the afternoon edition carries a different headline eeek:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq1ce9QS.jpg&hash=0d6914417bc7495e05aedf0761102ed71a33d9b9) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq1ce9QS)
lol: lol: lol:
-
Photoshop
[/quote]
Thank you, I may be gone a while....
-
I see the afternoon edition carries a different headline eeek:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq1ce9QS.jpg&hash=0d6914417bc7495e05aedf0761102ed71a33d9b9) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq1ce9QS)
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Well done that man!
-
Snoops knows his onions whistle:
Mr Selection knows his turnips. 8)
If you could leave the encoded message from Miss D in the third rubbish bin on the left in Hyde Park I will get the boffins onto it ASAP...
-
Everyone is having a lovely time .....
Attended friends 60th party this afternoon and have confused all by introducing Miss D as Barman's Internet girlfriend eyes: They think I am very understanding....
-
Did you force her to speak in a Russian accent?
-
Just slurring from over generous portions of Rohypnol or wine ..it has the same effect lol:
-
I see the afternoon edition carries a different headline eeek:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq1ce9QS.jpg&hash=0d6914417bc7495e05aedf0761102ed71a33d9b9) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq1ce9QS)
10/10 that man.
Funniest post of the year! happy088
-
Thanks one and all, a moment of daft inspiration whistle:
I've spent a lot of this week creating things that don't exist (in Photoshop); commercially lucrative but no jokes cry:
-
Miss D has just witnessed the birth of a loaf of BBBB - she can't get enough of it... whistle:
-
Prolly being polite and hiding uneaten slices in her pants
-
Prolly being polite and hiding uneaten slices in her pants
rubschin:
-
The bread was actually very nice ...butter and marmalade cloud9:. I can assure you there is none in my pants or bikini bottoms eeek:
-
A politician's answer. Where has she hidden it all then? rubschin:
-
in my belly eeek:
-
Miss D goes swimming. Tsunami hits Egypt
-
Miss D goes swimming. Tsunami hits Egypt
Miss D returns to UK, Nick wakes up under patio. whistle:
-
BBBB is a weapon of mass distruction, America is preparing to invade Miss D's belly as we speak. eeek:
-
Miss D and LL are subathing in their bikinis... LL has a banana... eeek:
-
Don't worry overly much BM Miss D prolly has a bandanna so both are equally matched.
-
Don't worry overly much BM Miss D prolly has a bandanna so both are equally matched.
rubschin:
-
We demand photographic evidence
-
Everyone is having a lovely time .....
Attended friends 60th party this afternoon and have confused all by introducing Miss D as Barman's Internet girlfriend eyes: They think I am very understanding....
Especially when emboldened by copious amounts of collapsio and a new super strength wig glue he joined the pair of you on the dance floor.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnewsimg.bbc.co.uk%2Fmedia%2Fimages%2F45740000%2Fjpg%2F_45740673_yeltsin_ap_766.jpg&hash=34bbdbe6746131cb2b695b6960a6c69f5c7d3f22)
whistle:
-
We demand photographic evidence
I give you BM and LL...
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq1hSMW0.jpg&hash=cba9f0b8b0de758584ebf40572313887d7155174) (http://www.postimage.org/)
and Miss D in her stunning bandanna...
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2Fgxxl79A.jpg&hash=9c1c91f4f90eb62ccdf834a5f8de2a77fe78c496) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=gxxl79A)
Miss D seems to have aged since arriving in Cyprus, one wonders why. rubschin:
-
I have not aged cry: Got red bits now though - through sunbathing of course noooo:
Weather was lovely today...got lots of interesting gossip about BM from his 'friends' though of course I will think about what I can reveal when I have sobered up redface:
That may take a while whistle:
People referring to you and knowing you as 'Miss D ' and not your real name is a bit disconcerting evil:
I will be back home at the weekend and can honestly say I don't really want to come home just yet - am having a lovely time cry:
BM and LL have been very good to me but then they have made me drink these local shots this evening - can't even remember the name - just that they burnt the throat and warmed the belly eeek:
Think they might actually be some form of memory wiping substance noooo:
-
Zivania (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zivania) Miss D... whistle:
-
Zivania (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zivania) Miss D... whistle:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.ehow.com%2Fimages%2FGlobalPhoto%2FArticles%2F2262889%2Fhangover-main_Full.jpg&hash=ab9c7411f34606c9d58ea49c6c0a8fbd52c4ed39)
noooo:
-
I will be back home at the weekend
eeek:
CHrist, you only just arrived!!
-
All gone a bit quiet.
-
I will be back home at the weekend
eeek:
CHrist, you only just arrived!!
We're bored with her now tho... whistle:
-
Cruel BM. noooo: I feel an axe swinging
-
I will be back home at the weekend
eeek:
CHrist, you only just arrived!!
We're bored with her now tho... whistle:
evil:
How much is the price for silence these days whistle:
-
I will be back home at the weekend
eeek:
CHrist, you only just arrived!!
We're bored with her now tho... whistle:
evil:
How much is the price for silence these days whistle:
We can beat anything he comes up with. ;)
-
I will be back home at the weekend
eeek:
CHrist, you only just arrived!!
We're bored with her now tho... whistle:
evil:
How much is the price for silence these days whistle:
scared2:
-
Ah... Miss D left us a thank you note in her bedroom! cloud9:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq1uWG69.jpg&hash=f0e20f51bce5b0d238cdebfcff97a7e30b5ca468) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq1uWG69)
-
noooo:
-
noooo:
What...?
-
::)
-
What like...? Shrugs:
-
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_R7sDbfe50qc%2FSaoMdO_4gYI%2FAAAAAAAAAp0%2FLxKY5yt1XUc%2Fs400%2FBullShit.jpg&hash=981f8f54b4dbae5e71e2dbe36fff2de3ce7d8b85)
-
Ah... Miss D left us a thank you note in her bedroom! cloud9:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq1uWG69.jpg&hash=f0e20f51bce5b0d238cdebfcff97a7e30b5ca468) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq1uWG69)
Looks remarkably like your handwriting to me noooo:
-
Ah... Miss D left us a thank you note in her bedroom! cloud9:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq1uWG69.jpg&hash=f0e20f51bce5b0d238cdebfcff97a7e30b5ca468) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq1uWG69)
Looks remarkably like your handwriting to me noooo:
eeek:
But, but but....
-
Ah... Miss D left us a thank you note in her bedroom! cloud9:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq1uWG69.jpg&hash=f0e20f51bce5b0d238cdebfcff97a7e30b5ca468) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq1uWG69)
Thank you for forgetting to lock my cell door allowing me to escape... whistle: