The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on May 08, 2009, 12:43:36 PM

Title: MILF on a plate
Post by: Nick on May 08, 2009, 12:43:36 PM: Blimey! eeek:

In the Village there are some nice MILFs. ONe I have always fancied. The lovely S. We have mutual friends. She has, on the rare occasions that we have met socially (twice a year?), been amiable, even flirty.

She has a boring husband (engineer) noooo:

She parked her car earlier outside my house. Tesco were delivering so I waved at her, cheerily. She had gone off to the pub for a girly lunch

She just knocked at the door. Flat tyre rubschin:

I gave her a coffee (she had called the AA)

We got chatting. I gave her a HobNob

She, um, asked where Mrs Nick was. Work. What time is she back? 6

'We have lots of time then' scared2: eyes: (she has had some collapso)

Me, weakly, 'Well the AA will be here soon'

Her: 'After that' eyes:

scared2:

Tempting, I admit. Fortunately the AA got here sharpish. I have locked the door confused:
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Snoopy on May 08, 2009, 12:49:42 PM: Banghead
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Uncle Mort on May 08, 2009, 12:49:57 PM: Who let the air out of tyre. You or her?
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Nick on May 08, 2009, 12:50:31 PM: Not me, guv noooo:
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Nick on May 08, 2009, 12:51:32 PM: Quote from: Snoopy on May 08, 2009, 12:49:42 PM
Banghead

Do you want her number?
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Pastis on May 08, 2009, 12:54:36 PM: "I gave her a HobNob"

What number euphemism is that again? To save me looking it up, like.
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Nick on May 08, 2009, 12:55:27 PM: evil:
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Pastis on May 08, 2009, 01:01:28 PM: If it was only a flat tyre, could you not go out there and fix the spare for her? An act of gallantry I would have thought that would

i) See her on her way
ii) Absolve you from temptation and
iii) Raise your stock for later eventualities
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Nick on May 08, 2009, 01:04:42 PM: The AA were on their way Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Pastis on May 08, 2009, 01:12:43 PM: Oh redface:

Well, just take my post as a plan for the future ;)
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 08, 2009, 01:17:01 PM: Quote from: Pastis on May 08, 2009, 01:12:43 PM
. . just take my 'post' as a plan for the future

That's just what he said to her. eyes:
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Barman on May 08, 2009, 01:25:25 PM: Quote from: Darwins Selection on May 08, 2009, 01:17:01 PM
Quote from: Pastis on May 08, 2009, 01:12:43 PM
. . just take my 'post' as a plan for the future

That's just what he said to her. eyes:
drumroll:
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Snoopy on May 08, 2009, 02:14:54 PM: How many times do I have to say: "It is often a mistake to sleep with a woman but it is ALWAYS a mistake not to"?
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Nick on May 08, 2009, 02:20:37 PM: Sleeping was not on her mind eeek:

So you DO want her number
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Snoopy on May 08, 2009, 02:32:46 PM: Sleep in this context is a euphemism for "have sex with" and no, Thank you, she would not want a call from me ~ it was you that passed up on the opportunity. I can find my own.
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Pastis on May 08, 2009, 02:39:10 PM: Quote from: Darwins Selection on May 08, 2009, 01:17:01 PM
Quote from: Pastis on May 08, 2009, 01:12:43 PM
. . just take my 'post' as a plan for the future

That's just what he said to her. eyes:

I'm surprised no one went for the Raise your stock bait eyes:
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Nick on May 08, 2009, 02:47:46 PM: noooo:
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: TG on May 08, 2009, 03:16:12 PM: Is this a porn thread?

I suppose it was only a matter of time. noooo:
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Nick on May 08, 2009, 03:18:06 PM: It could have been, but I am now busy with mussels, like noooo:

(I think she was pissed)
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Snoopy on May 08, 2009, 03:23:57 PM: Pissed or not you wimped out man!
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: TG on May 08, 2009, 03:25:08 PM: Quote from: Snoopy on May 08, 2009, 03:23:57 PM
Pissed or not you wimped out man!

Indeed, you should have shagged her. (well someone had to say it clearly).
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Nick on May 08, 2009, 03:25:31 PM: She lives about 100 yards away. She is very very eyes: but all wrong noooo:

sad24:
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Snoopy on May 08, 2009, 03:26:42 PM: She practically begged for it ~ I don't see what would have been soooooooo wrong.. Maybe it is me and my lack of morals. noooo:
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Nick on May 08, 2009, 03:28:11 PM: See also cashback angel1
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: TG on May 08, 2009, 03:36:27 PM: Quote from: Nick on May 08, 2009, 03:28:11 PM
See also cashback angel1

Eh? She gives refunds? rubschin:
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Barman on May 09, 2009, 08:59:34 AM: Nick is gay like... noooo:
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Snoopy on May 09, 2009, 12:19:58 PM: Quote from: Barman on May 09, 2009, 08:59:34 AM
Nick is gay like... noooo:

Nah ~ just frit!
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Barman on May 09, 2009, 12:28:40 PM: Quote from: Snoopy on May 09, 2009, 12:19:58 PM
Quote from: Barman on May 09, 2009, 08:59:34 AM
Nick is gay like... noooo:

Nah ~ just frit!
Too scared of Mrs. Nick like...? noooo:
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Snoopy on May 09, 2009, 12:45:14 PM: Quote from: Barman on May 09, 2009, 12:28:40 PM
Quote from: Snoopy on May 09, 2009, 12:19:58 PM
Quote from: Barman on May 09, 2009, 08:59:34 AM
Nick is gay like... noooo:

Nah ~ just frit!
Too scared of Mrs. Nick like...? noooo:

Summat like that I would guess.
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Nick on May 09, 2009, 01:17:48 PM: I am informed that we are going to a party tonight. It's the CBFT's birthday.

Guess who else is going scared2:
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Barman on May 09, 2009, 01:29:55 PM: Quote from: Nick on May 09, 2009, 01:17:48 PM
I am informed that we are going to a party tonight. It's the CBFT's birthday.

Guess who else is going scared2:
point:
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 09, 2009, 01:34:48 PM: She won't even remember what happened ...unlike you lol:
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Nick on May 09, 2009, 01:35:56 PM: I suspect you may be right. Oh and welcome back from the shortest holidayin the werld, like noooo:
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Barman on May 09, 2009, 01:37:35 PM: Quote from: Nick on May 09, 2009, 01:35:56 PM
I suspect you may be right. Oh and welcome back from the shortest holidayin the werld, like noooo:
It was short but she did fit a lot in!

redface:
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Nick on May 09, 2009, 01:39:51 PM: noooo:
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 09, 2009, 01:43:13 PM: Quote from: Nick on May 09, 2009, 01:35:56 PM
I suspect you may be right. Oh and welcome back from the shortest holidayin the werld, like noooo:

Have you not heard of weekend breaks then noooo:
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Snoopy on May 09, 2009, 01:44:44 PM: Quote from: Miss Demeanor on May 09, 2009, 01:43:13 PM
Quote from: Nick on May 09, 2009, 01:35:56 PM
I suspect you may be right. Oh and welcome back from the shortest holidayin the werld, like noooo:

Have you not heard of weekend breaks then noooo:

Coming from the man who travels to Wales to buy rugs noooo:
Title: Re: MILF on a plate
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 14, 2009, 12:55:38 PM: Quote from: Barman on May 09, 2009, 01:37:35 PM
Quote from: Nick on May 09, 2009, 01:35:56 PM
I suspect you may be right. Oh and welcome back from the shortest holidayin the werld, like noooo:
It was short but she did fit a lot in!

Suitcases full of contraband from the UK. whistle:

redface: