The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Commons => Topic started by: Nick on May 17, 2009, 12:37:54 PM
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http://www.the-daily-politics.com/2009/05/top-ten-daily-politics-youtube-videos.html (http://www.the-daily-politics.com/2009/05/top-ten-daily-politics-youtube-videos.html)
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Ridicule is the one weapon that will bring them down sooner rather than later.
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Ridicule is the one weapon that will bring them down sooner rather than later.
As would a SA80 8)
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But ridicule is easier to get hold of and is legal.
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Notice seen in window of wine merchant in Notting Hill:
'No more than one Member of Parliament
in this shop at any given time.
-- The Management.'
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Notice seen in window of wine merchant in Notting Hill:
'No more than one Member of Parliament
in this shop at any given time.
-- The Management.'
lol: lol: lol: lol:
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happy001 happy001
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(Sing to ABBA’s original music)
Money Money Money
They lie all night, and cheat all day, their claims all in and then we pay
Ain't it bad
And still it just appears to be, they’re all corrupt, no honesty
Make’s us mad
To take it all, that is their plan
To rake it in the perfect scam
Expenses paid, no claim to small, they spin around and catch us all...
Money, money, money
Must be lovely
In an MP’s world
Money, money, money
Con the country
In an MP’s world
Aha-ahaaa
All the things they can screw
Just to claim the public’s money
In an MP’s world
They list it all for where they stay, a second home someone must pay
Ain't it bad
They say they claim it legally,, they do not care as you can see
Make’s us mad
So they must leave, they have to know
We’ve had enough, they’ll have to go
They’ve made a fortune in a game, but life will never be the same...
Money, money, money
Must be lovely
In an MP’s world
Money, money, money
Con the country
In an MP’s world
Aha-ahaaa
All the things they can screw
Just to claim the public’s money
In an MP’s world
Money, money, money
Must be lovely
In an MP’s world
Money, money, money
Con the country
In an MP’s world
Aha-ahaaa
All the things they can screw
Just to claim the public’s money
In an MP’s world
In an MP’s world
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The MP's expenses scandal escalated again today after news that David Blunkett has claimed for a pair of new binoculars.
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The MP's expenses scandal escalated again today after news that David Blunkett has claimed for a pair of new binoculars.
lol: lol: lol: lol:
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(Sing to ABBA’s original music)
Money Money Money
It works! ...... redface:
lol: lol:
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Notice seen in window of wine merchant in Notting Hill:
'No more than one Member of Parliament
in this shop at any given time.
-- The Management.'
lol: lol: lol: lol:
happy001 happy001 happy001
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(Sing to ABBA’s original music)
Money Money Money
It works! ...... redface:
lol: lol:
You are not alone ~ I sang it too redface:
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http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/mp-becomes-first-ever-person-to-forget-he-had-paid-off-his-mortgage-200905141760/ (http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/mp-becomes-first-ever-person-to-forget-he-had-paid-off-his-mortgage-200905141760/)
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A new political party was founded today ahead of the European and local elections.
Headed by Sir John Bourne, former first class traveller (with wife, care of the taxpayer), the "Expense Party" is unusual in as much as it has no manifesto, doesn't bother with kissing sick-dribbling babies on doorsteps, and doesn't give a monkey's about any of its constituents.
At a lavish launch and 7-course lunch, funded by London Council Tax Payers, and held in the GLC headquarters, the new party's secretary, Con Cash, outlined their plans in the lead up to the elections.
Mr Cash said that the main aim of the party was to get as many people as possible elected and into the House of Commons so they could immediately claim expenses for second, third and fourth homes, many of which would be rented out to provide a second, third and fourth income anyway. He also said that too few people were able to do this in the course of daily business.
The party's stationery consists solely of petrol receipts, lunch receipts, video receipts and moat-cleaning receipts, and the party intends to employ thirty people just to fill these in and submit them on a twice-daily basis.
Mr Cash concluded that he felt their unashamed honesty at being in it for the cash should come as a breath of fresh-air. "We don't see why it should be left just to the national lottery to create millionaires."
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJ_ecVlf58s&eurl=http://callingengland.blogspot.com/&feature=player_embedded (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJ_ecVlf58s&eurl=http://callingengland.blogspot.com/&feature=player_embedded)
lol:
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Very good ~ and it can only get better.
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Excellent! lol: lol: lol:
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And another!!
http://www.spectator.co.uk/article_assets/articledir_7267/3633708/Brownism%20bingo.pdf (http://www.spectator.co.uk/article_assets/articledir_7267/3633708/Brownism%20bingo.pdf)
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happ096
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http://news.bbc.co.uk/today/hi/today/newsid_8062000/8062852.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/today/hi/today/newsid_8062000/8062852.stm)
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPqIJdyJ.jpg&hash=51ec1f276b956aceafa17522f314de70f92989ae) (http://www.postimage.org/)
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I see the Wintertons are standing down at the next election ~ no great loss I know.
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPqJIgaA.jpg&hash=89d57a1fe460ecb880ff980d36a66f48402250ab) (http://www.postimage.org/)
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http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/ministers-hired-accountants-who-don't-know-what-capital-gains-tax-is-200905251780/ (http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/ministers-hired-accountants-who-don't-know-what-capital-gains-tax-is-200905251780/)
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http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/mps-expenses/5388279/MPs-expenses-Bizarre-claims-part-ii.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/mps-expenses/5388279/MPs-expenses-Bizarre-claims-part-ii.html)
noooo:
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http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/germans-use-brown-video-for-hitler-spoof-200906041803/ (http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/germans-use-brown-video-for-hitler-spoof-200906041803/)
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http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/germans-use-brown-video-for-hitler-spoof-200906041803/ (http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/germans-use-brown-video-for-hitler-spoof-200906041803/)
That is excellent! ;D
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And at 10pm tonight James Purnell, Work and Pensions Secretary has resigned from the Cabinet specifically naming Gordon Brown's leadership as the reason.
How long can he now hang on?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2009/jun/04/james-purnell-resigns-gordon-brown-cabinet
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QapZI2cLQQ&feature=player_embedded
lol: lol: lol:
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;D ;D
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uO7HAjB8-RM&eurl=http://order-order.com/2009/06/07/sugar-on-brown/&feature=player_embedded (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uO7HAjB8-RM&eurl=http://order-order.com/2009/06/07/sugar-on-brown/&feature=player_embedded)
razz:
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uO7HAjB8-RM&eurl=http://order-order.com/2009/06/07/sugar-on-brown/&feature=player_embedded (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uO7HAjB8-RM&eurl=http://order-order.com/2009/06/07/sugar-on-brown/&feature=player_embedded)
razz:
See als- Oh why do I bother... noooo:
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I am posting in the correct thread. I am not responsible for the waywardness of others whistle:
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I am posting in the correct thread. I am not responsible for the waywardness of others whistle:
lol:
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"Gordon Brown has been found dead at the age of 58 after apparently falling into his swimming pool.
Friends said he could not swim, but was planning to learn."
Actually, that can't be true. He doesn't have any friends.
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http://www.the-daily-politics.com/2009/06/mandys-diary-sobota-6-juni.html (http://www.the-daily-politics.com/2009/06/mandys-diary-sobota-6-juni.html)
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Back at home I made an early call to Francois at the French Embassy.
"Frankie, darling, if you are going to the D-Day commemoration, I could do with a teeny favour."
"Oui, mon ami, pour tu, n'importe quoi".
"Do you think you could organize some boo-ing?"
happy001 happy001 happy001
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PO5Gh3QGFI
Hope this is not another "See also" redface:
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PO5Gh3QGFI
Hope this is not another "See also" redface:
drumroll:
Excellent! lol: lol: lol:
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http://bastardoldholborn.blogspot.com/2009/06/hague-nails-it.html (http://bastardoldholborn.blogspot.com/2009/06/hague-nails-it.html)
Excellent!!
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http://bastardoldholborn.blogspot.com/2009/06/hague-nails-it.html (http://bastardoldholborn.blogspot.com/2009/06/hague-nails-it.html)
Excellent!!
Excellent!
happ096
Hague for PM!
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OH's post "Now they Squabble" is also worth reading.
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OH's post "Now they Squabble" is also worth reading.
OH's blog overloads my Intermong connection.... noooo:
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http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/video/Diane-Abbott-MP-Slurps-In-House-Of-Commons/Video/200906215299761 (http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/video/Diane-Abbott-MP-Slurps-In-House-Of-Commons/Video/200906215299761)
rubschin:
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They played it twice on "Today" this morning
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On the radio! It's a video !
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They played the recorded noises but they described it not as slurping but as sucking as in "Sucking up to the boss". Banghead
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But you couldn't see her expression on the wireless, could you?
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I still can't because your link won't fecking load censored:
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It werks for me!
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Just give me twenty minutes to swim across the estuary then and I'll watch it with you ~ you do have a spare towel?
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Just go to sky news
http://news.sky.com/skynews/ (http://news.sky.com/skynews/)
Click on Politics and the link is thereabouts ::)
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OK ~ I know when and where I'm not wanted sad24: sad24:
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To view this content you need JavaScript enabled in your browser and Flash 9.0.28+ installed.
Oh well, I'm sure it's amusing.
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Dianne Abbot making sucking noises behind Keith Vaz as he oils his way into congratulating Alan Johnson on his new post as Home Sec is funny. The smirking by her afterwards is not. I was always told never to laugh at one's own jokes. TBF what did come out of the video that one didn't get from the wireless was the laughter from Alan Johnson.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJzLu2Yu5Ek&feature=player_embedded
happy001
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http://www.buildingbritainsfuture.co.uk/ (http://www.buildingbritainsfuture.co.uk/)
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http://noleaderbutgordon.blogspot.com/ (http://noleaderbutgordon.blogspot.com/)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Gi7qqvRlY0
Oh how I larfed! lol:
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Brown really has lost it
Noticed in the Speccy blog
And do you also remember, Acer, that one of the most telling lines against Nixon was, 'Would you buy a used car from this man?'.
Well you wouldn't want to buy anything from Brown, would you?
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It was actually a 0% fall! (http://www.spectator.co.uk/coffeehouse/3730498/browns-0-percent-rise.thtml)
He couldn't even lie about that properly!
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Brown is throwing another tantrum because Cameron called him disonest.
The slack jawed mouth breathing buffoon is so focussed on keeping his worthless arse in No. 10 that he hasnt realised he hasnt GOT any more authority. Mandy has become the power behind the jhrone.
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A Preview of Next Week's PMQs
Iain Dale 6:58 PM
From a commenter called Fragmeister... A preview of next week's PMQs...
DC: What day is it today?
GB: Typical. Can't ask a question about policy. I'll tell you what Tory policy is on days of the week. They want to cut them. They want to cut Thursdays now and if they get in power, they will cut Saturdays as well.
DC: What colour is the sky?
GB: The Tory party is the only party in the world that wants to cut the sky. We have invested in the sky. We have brought forward spending on the sky and increased it by 0% whereas he would cut it by 0% year on year adjusted for real capital spending inflation.DC: What time is it?GB: That is up to the Chancellor to decide. I had nothing to do with it.
DC: Should Freddie Flintoff open the bowling at Cardiff tomorrow?
GB: If the pitch, if the pitch, if the pitch takes off cutters and that is the Tory policy. To bowl off cutters, 10% off cutters, from Mr 10%. Yes, you may laugh, but it is his policy. And I ask him, would he prefer to have Ryan Sidebottom bowling his left arm swing up the hill and into the wind?
DC: Do bears crap in the woods?
GB: Bear crapping has risen under this Labour government year on year where it fell under the previous Tory administration. We have invested in crap while they cut it. The previous government, of which he was an advisor, cut crap year on year while we have increased crap year on year in real terms since 1997. The party opposite is the only serious party in the world that is opposed to us increasing crap.
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Keith Porter wrote to the Telegraph
SIR ? Now that Gordon Brown?s administration is to take over the East Coast main line should the 10am King?s Cross to Edinburgh be renamed The Lying Scotsman?
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lol: lol: lol: lol:
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http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/prescott-phone-tap-reveals-obsession-with-chip-butties-and-viagra-200907091889/ (http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/prescott-phone-tap-reveals-obsession-with-chip-butties-and-viagra-200907091889/)
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WTF is this about??
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/newsnight/8145339.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/newsnight/8145339.stm)
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Another cracker from Hague
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6Cj1b-rp1E&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Forder%2Dorder%2Ecom%2F&feature=player_embedded (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6Cj1b-rp1E&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Forder%2Dorder%2Ecom%2F&feature=player_embedded)
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happ096
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Excellent! lol:
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http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/war/for-christ's-sake-just-buy-some-helicopters%2c-says-everyone-200907161908/ (http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/war/for-christ's-sake-just-buy-some-helicopters%2c-says-everyone-200907161908/)
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http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/war/for-christ's-sake-just-buy-some-helicopters%2c-says-everyone-200907161908/ (http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/war/for-christ's-sake-just-buy-some-helicopters%2c-says-everyone-200907161908/)
But Bill McKay, from Doncaster, said: "When it comes to wars and stuff I'm inclined to go with generals and admirals, rather than some bloke called 'Bob Ainsworth' who spent 20 years as a shop steward in Coventry before deciding to sit around on his fat arse all day spending my money."
happy001
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I particularly liked
Margaret Gerving, a retired headmistress from Surrey, said: "I've noticed there are lots of wind turbines just standing about doing precisely fuck all most of the time. Surely we can use some of the bits to make at least one helicopter?"
And also
And Tom Logan, from Finsbury Park, added: "Do we want a state of the art Olympic velodrome so we can maintain our global dominance at riding a bike, or do we want more live soldiers? It's a tricky one isn't it?"
They really do sum up the public's mood
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Interview with the treasury...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/8159985.stm
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While on his morning walk, Prime Minister Gordon Brown falls over, has a heart attack and dies because the accident and emergency dept at his nearest hospital is too understaffed to treat him in time.
So his soul arrives in Heaven and he is met by Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.
"Welcome to Heaven," says Saint Peter, "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a Socialist around these parts, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in; I'm a good Christian; I'm a believer," says the PM.
"I'd like to just let you in, but I have orders from Gd Himself. He says that since the implementation of his new HEAVEN CHOICES policy, you have to spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you must choose where you'll live for eternity."
"But I've already made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," replies Brown.
"I'm sorry .. But we have our rules," Peter interjects. And, with that, St. Peter escorts him to an elevator and he goes down, down, down ...all the way to Hell.
The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a lush golf course.
The sun is shining in a cloudless sky. The temperature is a perfect 22C degrees. In the distance is a beautiful club-house. Standing in front of it is Harold Wilson and thousands of other Socialist luminaries who had helped him out over the years --- John Smith, Michael Foot, Jim Callaghan, etc. The whole of the Labour Party leaders were there ..
Everyone laughing, happy, and casually but expensively dressed.
They run to greet him, to hug him and to reminisce about the good times they had getting rich at the expense of 'suckers and peasants.'
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar.
The Devil himself comes up to Brown with a frosty drink, "Have a tequila and relax, Gord!"
"Uh, I can't drink anymore, I took a pledge," says Brown, dejectedly.
"This is Hell, son. You can drink and eat all you want and not worry and it just gets better from there!"
Brown takes the drink and finds himself liking the Devil, who he thinks is a really very friendly bloke who tells funny jokes like himself and pulls hilarious nasty pranks, kind of like the ones the Labour Party pulled with the European Constitution and the Education, Immigration, Tough on Crime promises.
They are having such a great time that, before he realises it, it's time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves as Brown steps on the elevator and heads upward.
When the elevator door reopens, he is in Heaven again and Saint Peter is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit Heaven," the old man says, opening the gate.
So for 24 hours Brown is made to hang out with a bunch of honest, good-natured people who enjoy each other's company, talk about things other than money and treat each other decently. Not a nasty prank or short-arse joke among them. No fancy country clubs here and, while the food tastes great, it's not caviar or lobster. And these people are all poor. He doesn't see anybody he knows and he isn't even treated like someone special!
"Whoa," he says uncomfortably to himself. "Harold Wilson never prepared me for this!"
The day done, Saint Peter returns and says, "Well, you've spent a day in Hell and a day in Heaven. Now choose where you want to live for Eternity."
With the 'Deal or No Deal' theme playing softly in the background, Brown reflects for a minute ... Then answers: "Well, I would never have thought I'd say this -- I mean, Heaven has been delightful and all but I really think I belong in Hell with my friends."
So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down, all the way to Hell.
The doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren scorched earth covered with garbage and toxic industrial wasteland, looking a bit like the eroded, rabbit and fox affected Australian outback, but worse and more desolate
He is horrified to see all of his friends, dressed in rags and chained together, picking up the roadside rubbish and putting it into black plastic bags. They are groaning and moaning in pain, faces and hands black with grime.
The Devil comes over to Brown and puts an arm around his shoulder." I don't understand," stammers a shocked Brown, "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a club-house and we ate lobster and caviar and drank tequila. We lazed around and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and everybody looks miserable!"
The Devil looks at him, smiles slyly and purrs, "Yesterday we were campaigning; today you voted for us!"
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The old ones are the best... hold on tho, no they're not... noooo:
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg24.imageshack.us%2Fimg24%2F9343%2F83830268.th.jpg&hash=308d5c21b4af277a81da002cee4180e701e082fd) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV__YSA)