The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Medical Centre => Topic started by: Nick on May 19, 2009, 04:36:47 PM

Title: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 19, 2009, 04:36:47 PM
We all have them. Hence my Swine Flu panic of the other day. Can we have a new thread of our regular or daily symptoms?

1. Headache
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 19, 2009, 05:05:12 PM
There's no mentions of women's problems in your poll ...or would that make the list too exhaustive  lol:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Pastis on May 19, 2009, 05:05:47 PM
Perhaps your mask is too tight, Nick

No symptoms here other than disappearing cash syndrome  cry:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 19, 2009, 05:06:07 PM
There's no mentions of women's problems in your poll ...or would that make the list too exhaustive  lol:

Added
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 19, 2009, 05:09:49 PM
What about paranoia / depression / addictions ????????????????????
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 19, 2009, 05:10:30 PM
Added  ::)

Though not sure that is a symptom. One wants to respect the dignity of the thread  angel1
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 19, 2009, 05:13:01 PM
I'm enjoying this  lol:

Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 19, 2009, 05:14:14 PM
Bonkers, then  ::)
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 19, 2009, 05:14:48 PM
Yep.........only 8 days of the week though  lol:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Pastis on May 19, 2009, 05:24:44 PM
So far no one's feeling a bit Ginger Beer, that's a relief.
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 19, 2009, 05:28:58 PM
No one's feeling anything are they  ? -  lethargy  could be a much bigger problem  lol:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 20, 2009, 04:53:31 PM
The problem with this thread is you are not allowed to feel different things on different days  noooo: - Mondays symptoms are likely to vary hugely to Friday's ones ...

Once you have cast your vote you are doomed to feel like that for eternity  sad24:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 05:12:13 PM
It is one of the many defects of the Pub  noooo:

You could publish your daily symptom in a message though, or I could start a new thread, like
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 05:35:56 PM
I can reset the poll!! doh:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Barman on May 20, 2009, 06:12:52 PM
I can reset the poll!! doh:
Excellent idea...

Reset the poll every morning...

Then we can log-in and: -

1) Click on our symptoms
2) Fill in the weather
3) Update last night's meal

At last, a reason for living!  cloud9:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 06:19:38 PM
I can reset the poll!! doh:
Excellent idea...

Reset the poll every morning...

Then we can log-in and: -

1) Click on our symptoms
2) Fill in the weather
3) Update last night's meal

At last, a reason for living!  cloud9:

We could even get scientific like and look at correlations between the three daily reports!!

e.g. Scorchio, Collapso, Stiffness/Hangover

Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Barman on May 20, 2009, 06:22:18 PM
I can reset the poll!! doh:
Excellent idea...

Reset the poll every morning...

Then we can log-in and: -

1) Click on our symptoms
2) Fill in the weather
3) Update last night's meal

At last, a reason for living!  cloud9:

We could even get scientific like and look at correlations between the three daily reports!!

e.g. Scorchio, Collapso, Stiffness/Hangover


Indeed...

Any other essential information we should be requesting...?
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 06:29:52 PM
Such as?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 20, 2009, 06:32:31 PM
Vital statistics  whistle:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Barman on May 20, 2009, 06:34:54 PM
Vital statistics  whistle:
::)

Stuff that changes on a day-to-day basis... and would therefore be interesting to the other pubbers... like, er.... um.... stuff...  Shrugs:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 06:43:25 PM
Well we have covered climatic environment, food and collapso intake and illness. Domestic disasters are well covered almost everywhere else, along with Gummant incompetence.

I think all of human life is here. Unless we introduce a Shagometer thread, like
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 20, 2009, 06:45:54 PM
 noooo: noooo: noooo:

Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Barman on May 20, 2009, 06:50:42 PM
Bowel movements perhaps...?

A poll could cover that quite nicely...
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 06:51:31 PM
I had discounted that one, but if you feel you must..... whistle:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 20, 2009, 06:53:30 PM
Please don't ....honestly no one would be interested in that  noooo:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Barman on May 20, 2009, 06:54:12 PM
I had discounted that one, but if you feel you must..... whistle:
I defer to your greater experience...
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 06:54:51 PM
I agree, but BM seems to think it merits a thread, with votes and everything, like. It may be the Tarrango talking  noooo:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Barman on May 20, 2009, 06:56:50 PM
It would be interesting to see a correlation between illness, collapso, the weather, curry intake and the state of one's poo...




...or perhaps not...  rubschin:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 20, 2009, 07:04:19 PM
It would be interesting to see a correlation between illness, collapso, the weather, curry intake and the state of one's poo...




...or perhaps not...  rubschin:

I will save you hours of wasted research..

Too much intake of collapso, with a curry combo in hot weather = an excess of excrement , fired under pressure and with noxious odours making you feel quite nauseous
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Barman on May 20, 2009, 07:05:34 PM
It would be interesting to see a correlation between illness, collapso, the weather, curry intake and the state of one's poo...




...or perhaps not...  rubschin:

I will save you hours of wasted research..

Too much intake of collapso, with a curry combo in hot weather = an excess of excrement , fired under pressure and with noxious odours making you feel quite nauseous
You paint an endearing image...  noooo:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 07:05:49 PM
Where is Growler anyhoo?
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Snoopy on May 20, 2009, 07:28:47 PM
At a guess:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm4.static.flickr.com%2F3075%2F2855246973_d2a7685181.jpg&hash=b5fddb88214d05042345576c8222f2faef420048)
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 07:35:44 PM
Well based on Miss D's observations he could well be in orbit  eeek:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Snoopy on May 20, 2009, 07:40:34 PM
To be serious for a minute ~ did he not mention, a few posts ago, that he was planning a trip to Germany with Growler Junior? I can't remember when he said they were going but ............
It is also GCSE time so if his house is anything like this one ............ we are going through all hell here and there is still another two weeks to go I gather.
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 07:42:59 PM
He was only going for the weekend!
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Snoopy on May 20, 2009, 08:00:48 PM
Well maybe he is busy or maybe you have upset him again. He's your friend and neighbour. Pop round and see the old chap. He maybe needs some company or an apology
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 08:59:55 PM
Spoke to him recently. He is a bit preoccupied
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Bar Wench on May 21, 2009, 08:58:43 AM
With?
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 21, 2009, 09:02:15 AM
Life
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Bar Wench on May 21, 2009, 09:08:46 AM
 Banghead
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 21, 2009, 10:15:13 AM
He's dangling carrots again Wenchy  noooo:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Bar Wench on May 21, 2009, 10:46:25 AM
I don't think I could face another carrot.  noooo:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 21, 2009, 10:59:51 AM
Mr Wench been reading his mags, eh?  eyes:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Bar Wench on May 21, 2009, 11:17:59 AM
No dear. Salad related dear.
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 21, 2009, 11:18:46 AM
Ah yes. How much weight have you lost so far?
 Popcorn:

Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Bar Wench on May 21, 2009, 11:20:30 AM
Lots!!!!  cloud9:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 21, 2009, 11:21:21 AM
Where's it gone then?

And where from?
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Bar Wench on May 21, 2009, 11:28:07 AM
It's just melted away!  cloud9:

From everywhere!  cloud9:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 21, 2009, 11:29:08 AM
 eeek:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Bar Wench on May 21, 2009, 11:32:50 AM
 cloud9:

Have to go and buy new clothes at the weekend!  cloud9:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 21, 2009, 11:37:09 AM
Just boil yer old ones, like (Top Tip)

I do that to mine and then they fit Size 8 Mrs Nick  happy088
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Snoopy on May 21, 2009, 11:48:56 AM
That'll be her shoe size will it?
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 21, 2009, 11:49:51 AM
No, that's 3
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Snoopy on May 21, 2009, 11:54:50 AM
Same sizes as my ex then ~ she too was a shortarse.

No clothes ever fitted her to her satisfaction. Too long in the sleeve, too long in the leg, too small in the bust, too big in the waist etc.
Whichever bit fitted another didn't. Shoes were a bugger too as she really wanted a two and a half but then you are really into kids shoes and they tend not to come with 4 inch heels.


Mrs S#2 is size ten or twelve depending on where she shops. Shoe size 5 or 6 again depends on make. BUT being 5'10" she finds most things too short in the sleeve and the leg.
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 21, 2009, 12:27:27 PM
cloud9:

Have to go and buy new clothes at the weekend!  cloud9:

I see no one else has bothered to comment or congratulate you publicly  noooo: - well done you that is fantastic  happy088.
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Snoopy on May 21, 2009, 12:52:42 PM
cloud9:

Have to go and buy new clothes at the weekend!  cloud9:

I see no one else has bothered to comment or congratulate you   noooo: - well done you that is fantastic  happy088.


Make not assumptions Miss D~ I have already commented, privately.
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 21, 2009, 12:56:33 PM
Noted and amended  whistle:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Snoopy on May 21, 2009, 01:06:21 PM
Seriously I think the girl has done fantastically well. Wish I could shed some weight but it just keeps going on. Mentioned it to the diabetic clinic and they said "stop taking the medications as they pile weight on you but check you blood sugar levels thrice daily and keep a record of which way they go". Needless to say the blood sugars shot up and up and up so they said restart the medications or you're a dead duck. Given the options I felt being too fat was the better choice.
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 21, 2009, 01:50:23 PM
I have a pic I need to post angel1
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Barman on May 21, 2009, 01:51:32 PM
I have a pic I need to post angel1
Link to it like...
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 21, 2009, 02:00:35 PM
VP Wimmin slim down for their hols

http://media.photobucket.com/image/Fat%20girl%20in%20bikini/Mongo420/fat-girls-in-bikinis.jpg (http://media.photobucket.com/image/Fat%20girl%20in%20bikini/Mongo420/fat-girls-in-bikinis.jpg)
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Barman on May 29, 2009, 07:31:26 AM
Bowel department...  surrender:

Too much real ale perhaps... rubschin:

Nah, you can't have too much real ale!  razz:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 29, 2009, 08:56:20 AM
Bowel department...

Thought you seemed unusually talkative lately BM whistle:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Barman on May 29, 2009, 08:57:36 AM
Bowel department...

Thought you seemed unusually talkative lately BM whistle:
drumroll:  lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:












 noooo:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on May 29, 2009, 01:14:58 PM
VP Wimmin slim down for their hols

http://media.photobucket.com/image/Fat%20girl%20in%20bikini/Mongo420/fat-girls-in-bikinis.jpg (http://media.photobucket.com/image/Fat%20girl%20in%20bikini/Mongo420/fat-girls-in-bikinis.jpg)



I'm the blonde one, didn't know that you had been spying on us Nick. noooo:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 29, 2009, 01:21:11 PM
There's just no privacy anymore Miss C -  we can't even have a day away without being monitored  noooo:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on May 29, 2009, 01:31:24 PM
Indeed it seems not Miss D, what is the world coming to.  I think it's time to drill a hole in the gents lav wall and spy on them, I will go in search of my trusty rusty Black and Decker, stand by... eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Barman on May 29, 2009, 01:32:15 PM
Indeed it seems not Miss D, what is the world coming to.  I think it's time to drill a hole in the gents lav wall and spy on them, I will go in search of my trusty rusty Black and Decker, stand by... eveilgrin:
A glory hole like...?  eyes:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 29, 2009, 01:32:24 PM
Bring a microscope too
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on May 29, 2009, 01:37:34 PM
I spy with my little eye....


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVNxsNi.jpg&hash=802162e85f234400259f19d01062d560dba28883) (http://www.postimage.org/)
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Barman on May 29, 2009, 01:40:57 PM
I spy with my little eye....


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVNxsNi.jpg&hash=802162e85f234400259f19d01062d560dba28883) (http://www.postimage.org/)

Snoopy...?
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 29, 2009, 02:03:18 PM
I spy with my little eye....


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVNxsNi.jpg&hash=802162e85f234400259f19d01062d560dba28883) (http://www.postimage.org/)

Snoopy...?
Has he lost weight?
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Snoopy on May 29, 2009, 02:25:34 PM
Easy to mock. My turn will come.

And no I am nowhere near that size ~ nor would I be seen dead with a carpet like that.
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on May 29, 2009, 04:54:36 PM
Just took this one by the VP pool.



(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq169v9J.jpg&hash=49b04e013785e0fca696c5a8fed74ee59ee9c60d) (http://www.postimage.org/)
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Snoopy on May 29, 2009, 05:21:17 PM
What do you suppose BM is looking at down there?  eeek:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on May 29, 2009, 06:13:25 PM
Nothing  noooo:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Barman on May 30, 2009, 10:00:00 AM
Hangover - bad chips like.. .  whistle:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Pastis on May 30, 2009, 12:32:48 PM
Nothing to do with drinking the pub dry of London Pride then?  ;)
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Barman on May 31, 2009, 07:26:30 AM
Nothing to do with drinking the pub dry of London Pride then?  ;)
rubschin:

You think the stress of being told... and having to switch to Adnams like...?  whistle:
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Snoopy on May 31, 2009, 10:27:52 AM
Nothing to do with drinking the pub dry of London Pride then?  ;)
rubschin:

You think the stress of being told... and having to switch to Adnams like...?  whistle:


Adnams ~ lovely beer but guaranteed headache material in my experience ~ almost as bad as Old Speckled Hen for bad head syndrome.
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: Nick on June 06, 2010, 01:15:37 PM
Right. The bottom half of my face feels normal, but the top half is hot and damp. Diagnosis?
Title: Re: Symptoms
Post by: TG on June 06, 2010, 01:25:07 PM
Right. The bottom half of my face feels normal, but the top half is hot and damp. Diagnosis?

This is known as a 'fevered brow'.

Apply a pack of frozen peas to the affected area* and you shall be well!  happy088

* Other medical opinions are available.