The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Berek on June 22, 2007, 02:55:34 PM

Title: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: Berek on June 22, 2007, 02:55:34 PM
She's home in around an hours time, and my excuse for not trimming the bush was going to be that its pissed down all day, but everything is bone dry, all the neighbours have washing out and theres a barbecue going on next door  ( thats another story  censored: )...

the jacket was the start, I fear the bush could be the killer... scared2:
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: Barman on June 22, 2007, 02:56:41 PM
Poor you - been dry here too!  whistle:
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 22, 2007, 02:59:20 PM
do you have an electric hedge trimmer? If so just put a piece of wire insulation around the connector. Hey presto the hedge trimmer is broken and you cant trim the hedge till you've worked out how to fix it.
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 22, 2007, 03:00:24 PM
. . trimming the bush . .

Quickly whip round your tackle with her ladyshave then claim you misunderstood her instructions.

Of course this will not work of you are already 'an smooth man'.
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: The Moan Ranger on June 22, 2007, 03:18:40 PM
But my brother Esau (spelling?) is 'an smooth man!
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: Snoopy on June 22, 2007, 03:19:58 PM
Your brother is not alone ~ but I recall we have had this conversation in the not too distant past  eyes:
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: Berek on June 22, 2007, 04:32:11 PM
bugger me backwards, its raining !!!
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: The Moan Ranger on June 22, 2007, 04:41:31 PM
Sorry Beagle, I obviously have to pay more attention.
On the subject of rain, it pissed it down here in Surrey for a bit, but now glorious sunshine. And Mick Channon's horse Championship Point won me shed loads. I'll pay the speeding fine with some of it...
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: Snoopy on June 22, 2007, 04:48:57 PM
That Mick Channon has won me a lot over the years.
His brother used to cut my hair.
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: Berek on June 22, 2007, 04:55:06 PM
That Mick Channon has won me a lot over the years.
His brother used to cut my hair.

He's had a Hob Nob with Nick  whistle:
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: Snoopy on June 22, 2007, 04:56:23 PM
That Mick Channon has won me a lot over the years.
His brother used to cut my hair.

He's had a Hob Nob with Nick  whistle:

Who hasn't ......................... 'cept me  sad24:
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: Berek on June 22, 2007, 04:57:28 PM
That Mick Channon has won me a lot over the years.
His brother used to cut my hair.

He's had a Hob Nob with Nick  whistle:

Who hasn't ......................... 'cept me  sad24:

He never waved his Hob Nob in my direction scared2:
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: Snoopy on June 22, 2007, 05:00:38 PM
That Mick Channon has won me a lot over the years.
His brother used to cut my hair.

He's had a Hob Nob with Nick  whistle:

Who hasn't ......................... 'cept me  sad24:

He never waved his Hob Nob in my direction scared2:


Phew ~ that was a narrow escape then .... I naturally assumed, since you had a hot date and all ??????  eyes:
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: The Moan Ranger on June 22, 2007, 05:13:35 PM
Weather update :

The A31 near Winchester is sunny, but heavy cloud looms large toward Southampton. Mrs TMR is driving like a mad thing, so I'm pleased this afternoon's imbibement has left me in a calm stupor.

But I'm dying for a pi55.
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: Snoopy on June 22, 2007, 05:15:26 PM
You're using that Blackberry thingy again. evil:
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: The Moan Ranger on June 22, 2007, 05:27:40 PM
It takes my mind off the several near death experiences I have been through. Another mad overtake looms, she's holding it in third...
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: Snoopy on June 22, 2007, 05:29:36 PM
 doh: I can't look!
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: The Moan Ranger on June 22, 2007, 05:33:40 PM
Holy fu*k. You do not want to be in an aquaplaning MR2 roadster at 110. I hope she has packed a spare pair of skiddies.
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: The Moan Ranger on June 22, 2007, 06:48:25 PM
Pi55 update.

Arrived in Ampfield - rabbits everywhere. Mrs TMR was not happy when I took the .22 out of the boot.

Being a cutios sort, I urinated into the pint glass I took to the room. 1.7 pints. Impressive, I thought. We looked over the balcony and lo and behold there were more ickle wabbits munching the grass below. The pint glass was dropped, Thumper was felled. Mrs TMR now hates me :-(
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: Snoopy on June 22, 2007, 07:00:59 PM
She'll forgive you when she tastes it (Thumper that is)
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: The Moan Ranger on June 22, 2007, 09:23:25 PM
Mrs TMR has now been on the throne for about an hour - she blames the restaurant. I blame her driving. Thumper is maturing in the boot, rabbit stew on Sunday. He/she should be nice and ripe by then.
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on June 23, 2007, 02:46:26 PM
That Mick Channon has won me a lot over the years.
His brother used to cut my hair.
I used to know a gardener who sat in the same chair as Mick Channon once eyes:
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: Uncle Mort on June 25, 2007, 07:42:06 AM
Pi55 update.

I urinated into the pint glass I took to the room. 1.7 pints. Impressive, I thought.

Very, almost a quart in a pint pot, so to speak.
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: Barman on June 25, 2007, 07:52:30 AM
Pi55 update.

I urinated into the pint glass I took to the room. 1.7 pints. Impressive, I thought.

Very, almost a quart in a pint pot, so to speak.
lol: lol:
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: Mr Happy on June 25, 2007, 11:16:53 AM
That Mick Channon has won me a lot over the years.
His brother used to cut my hair.
I used to know a gardener who sat in the same chair as Mick Channon once eyes:

Had he been trimming hedges or was he getting a trim?

Can you make it stop now Berek, bay window number 2 on the verge of collapse!
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 25, 2007, 11:26:04 AM
Pi55 update.

I urinated into the pint glass I took to the room. 1.7 pints. Impressive, I thought.

Very, almost a quart in a pint pot, so to speak.
lol: lol:
What are you laughing at? It was one of your glasses.

The one you are drinking from at the moment as a matter of fact. evil:
Title: Re: RAIN YOU BASTARD , RAIN !!!!!!!!
Post by: Barman on June 25, 2007, 11:28:42 AM
Pi55 update.

I urinated into the pint glass I took to the room. 1.7 pints. Impressive, I thought.

Very, almost a quart in a pint pot, so to speak.
lol: lol:
What are you laughing at? It was one of your glasses.

The one you are drinking from at the moment as a matter of fact. evil:
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