The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Snoopy on June 17, 2009, 11:57:59 AM
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Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
Thank you all ~ I feel much better now.
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She broke the camera... noooo:
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She's not going to college and will be staying at home for a few more years scared2:
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No ~ just me coming to terms that I have lived on this earth for 62 years and apparently know nothing.
In fact the combined ages of her mother and me comes to 112 years and all that experience is nothing compared to the superior brainpower and accumulated knowledge of a 16 year old.
Frankly I can no longer be bothered and the sooner someone puts her up the duff and she leaves home the better! Explode:
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The human teenager is the most feared creature on the face of the earth. The manner in which they dress, the things they say and the beasts they call friends will cause even the most easy-going adult to seek therapy. The human teenager lives in cities, suburbs and even in remote rural areas. Teenagers tend to feed at fast food restaurants and graze in packs at shopping malls.
Here are some characteristics of this ferocious and misunderstood creature:
Teenagers need a constant supply of money to survive. They are always asking for a “twenty.” When faced with this situation the adult must be strong and recommend a part-time job or chores around the house.
Teenagers have some mysterious friends that you never see but they are always conversing with by text on their cell phones. It is impossible to supervise these conversations so you must once again push the part-time employment to pay for all those text messages.
Teenagers think that they are the only resident of your “castle” and make themselves known by throwing their shoes and backpacks everywhere. Their bedrooms are frightening pits of pure terror. It is very dangerous to attempt any kind of investigation of their lairs since you cannot see the floor and you do not know what lurks beneath the debris.
Teenagers know everything! You cannot tell a teen anything new as they have the knowledge and experience of an 80 year old human living inside their adolescent bodies.
Teenagers are nocturnal. Something happens to their internal clock when they hit the age of 13. Suddenly the most exhausted teen during the day is wide awake and ready to party at night. Be aware also that teenagers do not wake up easily on school days and sleep until noon on weekends. Scientists do not understand how this happens to your once 8PM bedtime loving precious child.
Teenagers love only one thing more than their unusual friends. This is the family car. They are attracted to a car like bees are to honey. As soon as they have their driver's license they will be out and about testing their independence.
Teenagers are exhausting and you will find yourself a bit more tired with their drama and late nights. Suggest community service to get them out of your hair and do something good for others.
Teenagers are obsessed with the mirror. Female teenagers especially will spend incredible amounts of quality time in front of a mirror preening themselves.
Teenagers have a different sense of fashion than you do. But remind your teen that covered bodies are far sexier than the midriff look. Also baggy shorts still belong on the bottom and not the thighs.
Teenagers are horrified to be seen in public with anyone over the age of 21. They go shopping reluctantly only because you hold the credit card and they quickly ditch you in the store. Don't take this personally they will like you more once they reach the grand old age of 20.
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No ~ just me coming to terms that I have lived on this earth for 62 years and apparently know nothing.
In fact the combined ages of her mother and me comes to 112 years and all that experience is nothing compared to the superior brainpower and accumulated knowledge of a 16 year old.
Frankly I can no longer be bothered and the sooner someone puts her up the duff and she leaves home the better! Explode:
We have a 10 year old who is the same. I could keeeeeeeell him. We have worse to come. I have just been into his room scared2:
I expect they will grow up eventually rubschin:
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All those statements are very amusing and also true Miss D ............... remember those angsty years our darling Miss Piggy went through very well whistle:
Miss P had a particular way of raising one eyebrow when being spoken to by us parents that used to drive me TOTALLY insane angry041:
It is the teenager equivalent of being given the proverbial finger I believe rubschin:
Anyway's you both (Miss D and dearest Snoopy) - try and stay calm and remember that they do (eventually) return to lovely wonderful human beings that will (hopefully) be there to look after you (wiping up spittle and cleaning bottoms for us) in older age..........that is hopefully our sweet revenge sad24:
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Were you two ever teenagers? I was but I was angel1
Boys just smell more. No change there then
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No ~ just me coming to terms that I have lived on this earth for 62 years and apparently know nothing.
In fact the combined ages of her mother and me comes to 112 years and all that experience is nothing compared to the superior brainpower and accumulated knowledge of a 16 year old.
Frankly I can no longer be bothered and the sooner someone puts her up the duff and she leaves home the better! Explode:
But can she find her shirt?
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Were you two ever teenagers? I was but I was angel1
Boys just smell more. No change there then
Of course I was a teenager (a while ago) and if Miss P is correct am heading back the same way now (ie: senility creeping in)..
I wasn't an angel1 but I was, what in my day would have been called a SCAMP eyes:
Not sure that boy's dooooooooooooooooo smell more - generally have more spots though whistle:
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That'll be the shirt that is inside out, under a wet towel, under her bed along with dirty knickers, pop socks, shoes, 5 coffee cups. The shirt now growing mould in fact!
She has no idea where it is Angry9:
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Were you two ever teenagers? I was but I was angel1
Boys just smell more. No change there then
Of course I was a teenager (a while ago) and if Miss P is correct am heading back the same way now (ie: senility creeping in)..
I wasn't an angel1 but I was, what in my day would have been called a SCAMP eyes:
Not sure that boy's dooooooooooooooooo smell more - generally have more spots though whistle:
Truth be told I was horrid, but I can't see that from my parents' perspective. My consolation is that my sisters were worse angel1
The Boy (11 shortly) is shaping up to be a complete bastardo evil:
He knows everything noooo:
I may make him cook his own dinner this evening eveilgrin:
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I was angel1
Apart from writing off the washing machine...
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Popcorn:
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It was in the garage, along with the Morris Marina 1.3 Coupe I was going to drive when I got my licence.
Anyhooooo...as a bit of "practice", when I was 14, I used to reverse the Marina in and out of the garage, only I got it a bit wrong and hit the accelerator, rather than the brake. The washing machine ended up an extremely slimline model. The Marina was fine.
I wasn't popular. noooo:
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Seems normal to me. Apart from the Morris Marina bit noooo:
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Seems normal to me. Apart from the Morris Marina bit noooo:
It was the choice of that, or an Austin 1300.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg3.imageshack.us%2Fimg3%2F2862%2F22068990.jpg&hash=12fd0ee97640e5516160e0dce730bc7918cd55b2) (http://www.postimage.org/)
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg40.imageshack.us%2Fimg40%2F1930%2F70099548.jpg&hash=3a864680aebed2bf5f956ab23ddedbef675285a3) (http://www.postimage.org/)
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Toss of a coin then, bad either way noooo:
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Were you two ever teenagers? I was but I was angel1
Boys just smell more. No change there then
Of course I was a teenager (a while ago) and if Miss P is correct am heading back the same way now (ie: senility creeping in)..
I wasn't an angel1 but I was, what in my day would have been called a SCAMP eyes:
Not sure that boy's dooooooooooooooooo smell more - generally have more spots though whistle:
Truth be told I was horrid, but I can't see that from my parents' perspective. My consolation is that my sisters were worse angel1
The Boy (11 shortly) is shaping up to be a complete bastardo evil:
He knows everything noooo:
I may make him cook his own dinner this evening eveilgrin:
I have him doing housework now. Or no eveilgrin: TV
I have the power cable whistle:
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I have him doing housework now. Or no eveilgrin: TV
I have the power cable whistle:
noooo:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.londonpattesting.co.uk%2Fimages%2Fdangerous-exposed-wires.jpg&hash=ea7953803582063b0d980a792185489a8f948cd8)
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Tempting, but not so.
All rubbish to bins
Find pyjamas ( a big challenge noooo:)
Hoover Boy Room (don't look scared2:)
Piano practice
The he gets the cable eveilgrin:
Update:
He prefers NO piano practice to cable, so that's that.
I have now set him looking for the effing TV remote which Mrs Nick has put away and lost Banghead Banghead
Can't a man watch Star Trek?
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Seems normal to me. Apart from the Morris Marina bit noooo:
It was the choice of that, or an Austin 1300.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg3.imageshack.us%2Fimg3%2F2862%2F22068990.jpg&hash=12fd0ee97640e5516160e0dce730bc7918cd55b2) (http://www.postimage.org/)
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg40.imageshack.us%2Fimg40%2F1930%2F70099548.jpg&hash=3a864680aebed2bf5f956ab23ddedbef675285a3) (http://www.postimage.org/)
I had a company Marina once ..... smoked in those days and every time I changed into or out of third the fecking ashtray used to take the skin off my knuckles. Mind you it was better than the Maxi they gave me afterward. Changing gear in that was like stirring a pot of spaghetti with a knitting needle
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My mum had a Marina noooo: ...it was called Betty
But then she also had a Triumph Stag and that was called Betty as well rubschin:
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lol: lol:
My Father had a Marina, but then he was f**k off rich...
Hat coat door? redface:
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lol: lol:
My Father had a Marina, but then he was f**k off rich...
drumroll: ;D
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My mum had a Marina noooo: ...it was called Betty
But then she also had a Triumph Stag and that was called Betty as well rubschin:
That's just disloyal. No two cars of mine have ever had the same name. It's wrong noooo:
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Naming cars is also very, very wrong (and sad).
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Come round and tell that to Martha evil:
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point:
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My mum had a Marina noooo: ...it was called Betty
But then she also had a Triumph Stag and that was called Betty as well rubschin:
That's just disloyal. No two cars of mine have ever had the same name. It's wrong noooo:
I thought it was just my mum that was barking noooo:
Do you pat the dashboard as well rubschin:
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Do you pat the dashboard as well rubschin:
redface:
Only at the end of long journeys, obviously redface:
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Do you pat the dashboard as well rubschin:
redface:
Only at the end of long journeys, obviously redface:
happy001
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I thought everyone did that
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I thought everyone did that
No... if LL is driving (and I'm sober) they have to prise my fingers from the grab handle thingy... redface:
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I thought everyone did that
No... if LL is driving (and I'm sober) they have to prise my fingers from the grab handle thingy... redface:
That I can believe. Does she lean forward over the steering wheel and peer through the windscreen? And not use the mirrors enough?
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At the end of long journeys I usually take the ignition key out, get out of the car and head for the nearest toilet.
I do not pat any part of the car, nor do I kiss the bonnet, caress the boot lid or cuddle the wing mirror. I just go have a pee and stretch my aching back.
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You will regret that one day when the car lets you down.
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Then and only then will I pat the nice man from the RAC
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I thought everyone did that
No... if LL is driving (and I'm sober) they have to prise my fingers from the grab handle thingy... redface:
That I can believe. Does she lean forward over the steering wheel and peer through the windscreen? And not use the mirrors enough?
You know her? eeek:
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I know the type. Does she mix up the heater controls and the radio controls by not looking at them as she adjusts them while she is driving?
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People who they allow to drive these days eh whistle: whistle: whistle:
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And I bet she can never remember how the windscreen washer thingy works on the steering column and has to look at it to see which way to push or pull noooo:
and still gets it wrong noooo:
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I know the type. Does she mix up the heater controls and the radio controls by not looking at them as she adjusts them while she is driving?
eeek: