The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Medical Centre => Topic started by: The Moan Ranger on June 21, 2009, 03:52:37 PM

Title: Exploding nipple
Post by: The Moan Ranger on June 21, 2009, 03:52:37 PM
So...

Driving back from Brighton (no jokes please) I noticed a tenderness around my left nipple. Thinking it must just be a bit chafed, I ignored.

By the time I arrived home, it was getting really quite sore so I investigated the area. It looked very white - chafed skin I thought - a quick, tentative squeeze proved otherwise.

Think The Excorsist"..

A jet of what looked like cottage cheese and tomato ketchup exploded ten feet across the floor.

Seems fine now.

Most peculiar.
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: Nick on June 21, 2009, 03:58:29 PM
 sick2:

Thank you for that information. I feel it should be quarantined to the Medical Centre where a lengthy discussion could be had by those with an interest in such matters

This may help
http://www.cancerhelp.org.uk/help/default.asp?page=5075#symptoms (http://www.cancerhelp.org.uk/help/default.asp?page=5075#symptoms)
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: The Moan Ranger on June 21, 2009, 04:00:20 PM
I feel comfortable sharing bodily fluids with you, Nick ;-)
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: Nick on June 21, 2009, 04:00:43 PM
 eeek:
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: Snoopy on June 21, 2009, 04:05:35 PM
Prolly an infected cyst. I had to have one removed (day surgery) some years ago. Mine too was on the left nipple, bloody sore for a couple of weeks TBH. When they took it out it was quite large. Most painful bit was the injection of local anaesthetic. After the biopsy the doc said it was not malignant and would likely have done what yours did in time. If it returns I would get it looked at by the medics, if not forget it.
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: Nick on June 21, 2009, 04:06:29 PM
I believe it can be made worse by beer drinking  noooo:

He may have to go on the wagon for a few months, like
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: The Moan Ranger on June 21, 2009, 04:12:08 PM
Thank you Snoops - much as I suspected.
Now, can we turn to the one on my scrotum?
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: Snoopy on June 21, 2009, 04:13:38 PM
You're on your own there pal. Friends we may be but there are limits.


 rubschin: You sure it's a cyst and not just a little winkle?  whistle:
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: Nick on June 21, 2009, 04:15:25 PM
Get Mrs TMR (to be)  to have a careful look. Do not allow her to deploy any tools (other than a magnifying glass)
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: The Moan Ranger on June 21, 2009, 04:21:40 PM
She is sharpening her fingernails as we speak. If you hear a scream, you will know why.

To prepare, I am drinking many pints of anaethestic.
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 21, 2009, 04:30:19 PM
I think I'll delay my tea for a little longer  now  eeek: eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: Nick on June 21, 2009, 04:34:03 PM
Not strawberries and cream again  noooo:
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: tel on June 21, 2009, 04:34:07 PM
I'm glad I didn't venture round to the dark side this afternoon and stayed in the restaurant instead.

Mind you this did entail the first encounter with the new, midget size waitress - not very much in the way of customer care there - no tip left.
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: Nick on June 21, 2009, 04:34:56 PM
Perhaps she had trouble reaching up to the table  noooo:
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: tel on June 21, 2009, 04:36:33 PM
I am not totally sure but I think her other half is the barman with Dumbo ears - TMR may confirm -a wonderful couple.
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: Nick on June 21, 2009, 04:37:23 PM
Do we have pictures of the midget and the elephant? Have they mated?
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: The Moan Ranger on June 21, 2009, 04:40:19 PM
I have met this person and as well as being dereft of height, she also is Welsh and has a moustache.

Her boyfriend/Morlock is also Welsh and has ears that can tune into Sky Sports 1 and 2.

A typically attractive North Welsh couple. My exploding nipple was more attractive.
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: Nick on June 21, 2009, 04:41:59 PM
Welsh!  doh:

That explains it
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: tel on June 21, 2009, 04:45:18 PM
Havin refurbed the pub, the staff appearances are going downhill.

Food was very nice though.
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: Barman on June 21, 2009, 04:46:03 PM
 sick2:

This all belongs in the Medical Centre for sure...  noooo:
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: Nick on June 21, 2009, 04:48:50 PM
At last  ::)

And that also includes any future refs to Welsh peoples of course
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: The Moan Ranger on June 21, 2009, 05:02:01 PM
Indeed Nick. Simples.
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: Just One More on June 21, 2009, 05:36:55 PM
Do we have pictures of the midget and the elephant? Have they mated?

Tim Conway spoke about them when he went off-script

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qqE_WmagjY
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: Bar Wench on June 23, 2009, 08:13:54 AM
There aren't many things that make me retch but that truly did.  sick2:
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: Nick on June 23, 2009, 08:16:19 AM
http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=6343.0 (http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=6343.0)

Wimmin  noooo:
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: The Moan Ranger on September 10, 2009, 11:16:30 AM
It's happened again, other nipple this time  sick2:
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: Nick on September 10, 2009, 11:31:35 AM
 eeek:
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 10, 2009, 02:38:49 PM
It's happened again, other nipple this time  sick2:

Sounds like you are lactating.

Any Wise Men or shepherds turned up yet?
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: Barman on September 10, 2009, 03:35:30 PM
It's happened again, other nipple this time  sick2:

Sounds like you are lactating.

Any Wise Men or shepherds turned up yet?
Little chance of either on here...  noooo:
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: The Moan Ranger on September 10, 2009, 05:27:03 PM
Mrs TMRBB used her talons to great effect in squeezing the offending area into submission. Even she said it was disgusterous. What is causing this?
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: Barman on September 10, 2009, 05:28:57 PM
Mrs TMRBB used her talons to great effect in squeezing the offending area into submission. Even she said it was disgusterous. What is causing this?
A lack of high speed motorcycling adventures prolly...  whistle:
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: Snoopy on September 10, 2009, 05:49:10 PM
Mrs TMRBB used her talons to great effect in squeezing the offending area into submission. Even she said it was disgusterous. What is causing this?

The bile has to come out somehow.


If you were a cow DS would have the answer.



Serious mode on <Take it to your GP> Serious mode off.
http://www.malehealth.co.uk/userpage1.cfm?item_id=210
Title: Re: Exploding nipple
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 10, 2009, 10:38:17 PM

If you were a cow DS would have the answer.


 noooo:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.klinger-export.com%2Fenglish%2Fimages%2F1000.jpg&hash=386914aa8e6ac77b2d0ebd8220dce26a9f23f39d)