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Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Miss Demeanour on June 25, 2009, 06:59:20 PM

Title: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 25, 2009, 06:59:20 PM
Drivers on London Underground trains have started reading out quotes from thinkers like Jean-Paul Sartre and Mahatma Gandhi in a bid to cheer up passengers, officials said Thursday.

As well as the usual announcements urging passengers to "mind the gap" and warning of delays, tube drivers are now also quoting philosophy over the public announcement system

The quotes include "Everyone should be respected, but no-one idolised" (Albert Einstein), "An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory" (Friedrich Engels) and "Nothing is worth more than this day" (Johann von Goethe)



Well that is bound to improve passenger's temperaments on the tube - it is normally such a pleasant experience anyway that a bit of ideological thinking is bound to be a big success  noooo: noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Nick on June 25, 2009, 07:00:33 PM
I could let them use 'I am surrounded by idiots (Discuss)' -  to break the ice, like
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 25, 2009, 07:02:51 PM
Do you actually have copyright on that phrase then  rubschin:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Nick on June 25, 2009, 07:03:30 PM
Um, probably  rubschin:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Barman on June 25, 2009, 07:04:38 PM
Um, probably  rubschin:
That's a no then...  ::)
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Nick on June 25, 2009, 07:09:48 PM
Just imagine it. A hot and sweaty day on teh Northern Line. Overcrowded. Delays.

Train driver says: 'I am surrounded by idiots, as Mr Nick so wisely says.'

There could be a really good fight  razz:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 25, 2009, 07:14:16 PM
Then he goes on to play a piece of music by some cat ....by the time the train pulls into the next station there will be a mass evacuation  rubschin:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Nick on June 25, 2009, 07:14:44 PM
And free cakes!
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Pastis on June 25, 2009, 08:22:21 PM
They were thinking of using Sartre's "Hell is other people" but ...  rubschin:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 25, 2009, 08:30:56 PM
Can you imagine  eeek: - hell is more like the lack of air con on the tubes.

I got on the Victoria line at 7 o clock in the morning today and as soon as I stepped on the train was faced with a wall of heat - thank heavens it was an empty train - really is bloody unpleasant  evil:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Bar Wench on June 26, 2009, 07:54:04 AM
Can you imagine  eeek: - hell is more like the lack of air con on the tubes.

I got on the Victoria line at 7 o clock in the morning today and as soon as I stepped on the train was faced with a wall of heat - thank heavens it was an empty train - really is bloody unpleasant  evil:

And there you have reason number one why I refuse to work in town.  noooo:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: barmisspah? on June 26, 2009, 09:29:16 AM
So who is supposed to be driving the train while they are reading out this shit
drivel. ?
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Nick on June 26, 2009, 09:39:16 AM
Perhaps they let passengers have a go to satisfy their childhood dream of being a train driver  rubschin:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 26, 2009, 09:39:57 AM
They will sort that out during the next tube strike when they have to rewrite their job descriptions to include a competency of being able to read  noooo:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Barman on June 26, 2009, 09:41:37 AM
I reckon they drive themselves anyway - the 'driver' only being there to give the public confidence...

Do you know how they go round corners by the way - fascinating!
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Nick on June 26, 2009, 09:42:02 AM
 Popcorn:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on June 26, 2009, 11:17:36 AM
I reckon they drive themselves anyway - the 'driver' only being there to give the public confidence...

Do you know how they go round corners by the way - fascinating!




Slowly with feeling?  Now that really is fascinating. noooo:

It's all to do with flanges, flange lubricants and friction. eeek:



 On slow tight curves the wheel flanges press on the side of the rail and guide the wheels around the curve. This can be noisy and some areas have flange lubricators fitted to ease the friction. If the angle (ie. the truck length compared with the curve radius) is too tight then unfortunately there can be a de-railment. The wheels may be riding on the outside or the inside of the curve depending on the position of the driven wheels and the position along the train length.
On fast gentle curves the taper in the wheel tread guides the wheel set along so it remains more or less in the centre of the clearance between the rails. As it moves to either side the closer wheel runs on a slightly larger radius and hence moves ahead a tad swinging the axle back towards the centre. There's a lot of detail design here to make the wheels stable over a wide speed range


Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Barman on June 26, 2009, 11:25:47 AM
I reckon they drive themselves anyway - the 'driver' only being there to give the public confidence...

Do you know how they go round corners by the way - fascinating!




Slowly with feeling?  Now that really is fascinating. noooo:

It's all to do with flanges, flange lubricants and friction. eeek:



 On slow tight curves the wheel flanges press on the side of the rail and guide the wheels around the curve. This can be noisy and some areas have flange lubricators fitted to ease the friction. If the angle (ie. the truck length compared with the curve radius) is too tight then unfortunately there can be a de-railment. The wheels may be riding on the outside or the inside of the curve depending on the position of the driven wheels and the position along the train length.
On fast gentle curves the taper in the wheel tread guides the wheel set along so it remains more or less in the centre of the clearance between the rails. As it moves to either side the closer wheel runs on a slightly larger radius and hence moves ahead a tad swinging the axle back towards the centre. There's a lot of detail design here to make the wheels stable over a wide speed range



Yes, that's right...  evil:

For 99% of the network the flanges (snigger) aren't required at all - the wheels self-steer due to their clever geometry...
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Nick on June 26, 2009, 11:27:15 AM
 sleep017
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on June 26, 2009, 12:01:03 PM
I reckon they drive themselves anyway - the 'driver' only being there to give the public confidence...

Do you know how they go round corners by the way - fascinating!




Slowly with feeling?  Now that really is fascinating. noooo:

It's all to do with flanges, flange lubricants and friction. eeek:



 On slow tight curves the wheel flanges press on the side of the rail and guide the wheels around the curve. This can be noisy and some areas have flange lubricators fitted to ease the friction. If the angle (ie. the truck length compared with the curve radius) is too tight then unfortunately there can be a de-railment. The wheels may be riding on the outside or the inside of the curve depending on the position of the driven wheels and the position along the train length.
On fast gentle curves the taper in the wheel tread guides the wheel set along so it remains more or less in the centre of the clearance between the rails. As it moves to either side the closer wheel runs on a slightly larger radius and hence moves ahead a tad swinging the axle back towards the centre. There's a lot of detail design here to make the wheels stable over a wide speed range



Yes, that's right...  evil:

For 99% of the network the flanges (snigger) aren't required at all - the wheels self-steer due to their clever geometry...



happy100  Gosh how fascinating.... noooo:





Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Nick on June 26, 2009, 12:01:33 PM
And on the other 1%  scared2:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Barman on June 26, 2009, 12:03:28 PM
And on the other 1%  scared2:
Flanges..  ::)



Snigger...  lol:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Nick on June 26, 2009, 12:04:37 PM
The Deputy Headmistress at my school was known as Flange  rubschin:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Barman on June 26, 2009, 12:06:30 PM
The Deputy Headmistress at my school was known as Flange  rubschin:
Popcorn:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Nick on June 26, 2009, 12:06:56 PM
I never knew why
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Barman on June 26, 2009, 12:07:37 PM
I never knew why
doh:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Snoopy on June 26, 2009, 12:10:23 PM
Amazing knowledge Miss C.
Of course any male who ever had an electric train set could have told you the answer.
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Barman on June 26, 2009, 12:12:01 PM
Amazing knowledge Miss C.
Of course any male who ever had an electric train set could have told you the answer.
Any male that had a train set would have told you it was the flange (snigger) which kept them on the rails... 
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Nick on June 26, 2009, 12:12:35 PM
I never had a train set  sad24:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Barman on June 26, 2009, 12:19:29 PM
I never had a train set  sad24:
Wendy house then...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Nick on June 26, 2009, 12:27:10 PM
I ran a holiday camp for worms  redface:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 26, 2009, 12:33:54 PM
I never had a train set  sad24:

A baking set then?
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Nick on June 26, 2009, 01:32:56 PM
NO worms, we were poor  sad24:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 26, 2009, 01:40:11 PM
So you just ran a holiday camp then  rubschin:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on June 26, 2009, 01:42:26 PM
Can you imagine  eeek: - hell is more like the lack of air con on the tubes.

I got on the Victoria line at 7 o clock in the morning today and as soon as I stepped on the train was faced with a wall of heat - thank heavens it was an empty train - really is bloody unpleasant  evil:

And there you have reason number one why I refuse to work in town.  noooo:
And reason number two could be;

It is common knowledge that diseases and viruses can be spread by people in confined spaces, but few people are fully aware of the number of far more serious afflictions that can also be transmitted via train travel, including carpal tunnel syndrome, rickets, foot & mouth disease, cancer of the cervix, triakadekaphobia (fear of the number 13), emphysema, myxomatosis, halitosis, blindness, blind faith, eczema, ebola, poor taste, lighthousekeeper's eye, death, at least five different strains of hepatitis, three of the same strains of crows feet, overdependence, squinting, skin failure, loss of shoes, pregnancy, panic disorder, piles, paralysis from the waist up, shortness (especially of breath),  and Windows Explorer infestation.
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Nick on June 26, 2009, 01:56:45 PM
So you just ran a holiday camp then  rubschin:

Aged about 7-9 I dug up worms from one corner of our garden and transported them on a Corgi Low Loader (ask BM) to the other corner where I had constructed a worm camp with slides, pools (think Center Parqs [sic] for worms: I was ahead of my time). They had a thrilling week there before going home (with a few accidents  redface:)  and being replaced by other worms from the same area.

Simples

As I said, we were poor  sad24:

I had a pedal powered horse though, if that helps
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 26, 2009, 02:05:30 PM
I had my own donkey - when I was a toddler on the farm . A proper one like. I lurved him  sad24:

As for your worm farm - sounds a very impressive set up  8) . Did you produce a brochure for your guests, take photos and give them enough time to pack before you transferred them back  lol:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Nick on June 26, 2009, 02:06:33 PM
A donkey  cloud9:






















You just yearn for Sven as a reminder
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 26, 2009, 02:08:43 PM
That must be it  lol: ...those were the days when I could get someone to do what I wanted for a carrot  ;D
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Nick on June 26, 2009, 02:12:45 PM
 eeek:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Uncle Mort on June 26, 2009, 02:20:38 PM
There really is no answer to that except  eeek:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Nick on June 26, 2009, 02:21:23 PM
I hear she is good with root vegetables. That is why she gets on so well with Pastis  angel1
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Uncle Mort on June 26, 2009, 02:23:45 PM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg30.imageshack.us%2Fimg30%2F2534%2F66787387.jpg&hash=ab5967fc5763a5aef9203864edac6aaa475e680e) (http://www.postimage.org/)
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Nick on June 26, 2009, 02:24:54 PM
Mort tries to attract the cruise ship MILFs and fails  noooo:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 26, 2009, 02:27:32 PM
I hear she is good with root vegetables. That is why she gets on so well with Pastis  angel1

 lol:

You do have a death wish  whistle:
Title: Re: Cheering up tube passengers
Post by: Nick on June 26, 2009, 02:28:15 PM
It's my best option these days  noooo: