The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Petrol/Diesel/Red Diesel/Aviation Fuel Head Zone => Topic started by: Snoopy on July 21, 2009, 06:16:09 PM

Title: F*ing cars
Post by: Snoopy on July 21, 2009, 06:16:09 PM
Jones the Landrover ~ his brother is also called Jones the Landrover which can be confusing as one is never sure which one is on the phone ~ has just called to say my car will be ready late tomorrow. F*ing sensor on the ABS system needed replacing. £200! eeek:

Yes that is how they announce themselves. Assume Welsh accent "Jones the Landrover here ...... your car etc etc"
When you go down to their garage you still can't tell them apart. They both only answer to Mr Jones. No-one seems to know if they have another name or not but they are the local experts on Landrovers and deal with nothing else.
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Nick on July 21, 2009, 06:17:41 PM
Thieving Welsh bastards.

Isn't it under warranty?
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Snoopy on July 21, 2009, 06:19:18 PM
Not for such an item apparently. It is not a new vehicle, only new to me and second hand vehicle warranties are frankly a waste of space.
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Nick on July 21, 2009, 06:43:45 PM
http://www.honestjohn.co.uk/carbycar/index.htm?md=192 (http://www.honestjohn.co.uk/carbycar/index.htm?md=192)

 noooo:
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 21, 2009, 08:11:55 PM
Jones the Landrover ~ his brother is also called Jones the Landrover which can be confusing as one is never sure which one is on the phone ~ has just called to say my car will be ready late tomorrow. F*ing sensor on the ABS system needed replacing. ?200! eeek:

Yes that is how they announce themselves. Assume Welsh accent "Jones the Landrover here ...... your car etc etc"
When you go down to their garage you still can't tell them apart. They both only answer to Mr Jones. No-one seems to know if they have another name or not but they are the local experts on Landrovers and deal with nothing else.

Ask for the old part he took out. Claim you are going to send it to Land Rover to ask why it has gone wrong.
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 21, 2009, 10:49:43 PM
Jones the Landrover ~ his brother is also called Jones the Landrover which can be confusing as one is never sure which one is on the phone ~ has just called to say my car will be ready late tomorrow. F*ing sensor on the ABS system needed replacing. ?200! eeek:

Yes that is how they announce themselves. Assume Welsh accent "Jones the Landrover here ...... your car etc etc"
When you go down to their garage you still can't tell them apart. They both only answer to Mr Jones. No-one seems to know if they have another name or not but they are the local experts on Landrovers and deal with nothing else.

Ask for the old part he took out. Claim you are going to send it to Land Rover to ask why it has gone wrong.
Hear, hear. That often works.

"sorry guv, we just cleaned the old one and its OK, my mistake"

 ?25 not ?200
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Snoopy on July 22, 2009, 10:13:44 AM
Original assessment of problem done by local dealership when warning lights came on.
Then took vehicle to local village garage who made the same diagnosis.
Spoke to local farmer and mentioned that I had this problem and he instantly told me what it was and said that it happens with Freelanders. He has owned several. He recommended Jones Bros as the likeliest to do the job efficiently and far cheaper than either the dealership or the village garage. Jones & Jones apparently enjoy a high reputation in the local farming community and that counts for a lot in my mind as Welsh farmers, like their English counterparts, are not known for spending money.

I think given that all these people have come up with the same diagnosis it is a fair bet that the problem is as they say. However one other thing my Farmer friend told me was that Jones always hands you any part he has replaced in a plastic bag along with the invoice.

Obviously I realise that Jones could simply put any old bit in the bag and tell me it came from my car and I would be none the wiser but there are times when you just have to take some things on trust ~ even if he is Welsh.
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Nick on July 22, 2009, 12:47:34 PM
Quote
Welsh farmers, like their English counterparts, are not known for spending money.

 shocked003
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 22, 2009, 02:44:22 PM
Quote
Welsh farmers, like their English counterparts, are not known for spending money.

 shocked003
Your point is....?
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Snoopy on July 23, 2009, 03:43:52 PM
Car collected ~ various telephone calls in between times. Final bill ?702.65  eeek:

Needed new ABS Sensor
           new CV Joint
           New "Tone Ring" (WTF is one of those ~ summat to do with the ABS system)

Labour came in at ?268 and of course the VAT accounts for another ?91.65

Warranty insurers have agreed to meet two thirds of it.

The Brothers Jones however do not like Warranty Companies so will not deal with them ~ "You pay us boyo and claim it back from them" is their attitude "We don't need the hassle"

TBF they did say "No need to settle now, we'll send the bill in a month" but I handed over the old plastic with a rictus grin. I figure that paying by plastic at least gives some protection if it goes wrong. I see some "expenses" being claimed this month  whistle:
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 23, 2009, 04:07:59 PM
New "Tone Ring" (WTF is one of those)

Your mobile will now play 'Men of Harlech'.
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Snoopy on July 23, 2009, 04:08:44 PM
 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Nick on July 23, 2009, 04:14:17 PM
Car collected ~ various telephone calls in between times. Final bill ?702.65  eeek:

Needed new ABS Sensor
           new CV Joint
           New "Tone Ring" (WTF is one of those ~ summat to do with the ABS system)

Labour came in at ?268 and of course the VAT accounts for another ?91.65

Warranty insurers have agreed to meet two thirds of it.

The Brothers Jones however do not like Warranty Companies so will not deal with them ~ "You pay us boyo and claim it back from them" is their attitude "We don't need the hassle"

TBF they did say "No need to settle now, we'll send the bill in a month" but I handed over the old plastic with a rictus grin. I figure that paying by plastic at least gives some protection if it goes wrong. I see some "expenses" being claimed this month  whistle:

So there is some warranty money  whistle:
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Snoopy on July 23, 2009, 05:01:39 PM
I'm not counting on it until I have it in the bank.
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 23, 2009, 07:29:20 PM
Flog it and buy a Lexus. They don't go wrong.
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Nick on July 23, 2009, 07:35:20 PM
Shouldn't you be shagging?
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 23, 2009, 07:48:34 PM
Shouldn't you be shagging?

My knob looks like an uncooked Kofte, it needs a rest.

Go back to your dusting.
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Nick on July 23, 2009, 07:55:18 PM
I have a scab on mine  angel1
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 23, 2009, 07:59:21 PM
I have a scab on mine  angel1

Self-inflicted...as usual  point:
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Nick on July 23, 2009, 08:16:48 PM
 sad24:
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Snoopy on July 24, 2009, 12:08:39 PM
Quote
Flog it and buy a Lexus. They don't go wrong.

Nor do they cost as little, carry a similar load or suit my needs.  Banghead
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 24, 2009, 12:56:29 PM
Quote
Flog it and buy a Lexus. They don't go wrong.

Nor do they cost as little, carry a similar load or suit my needs.  Banghead

One of those electric Lexus 4x4s made me jump in town last week. I was standing on the pavement next to it and it suddenly pulled away with just a faint tyre noise. Uncanny.  scared2:
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Nick on July 24, 2009, 12:57:16 PM
You need a new battery for your hearing aid  ::)
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 24, 2009, 12:58:29 PM
You need a new battery for your hearing aid  ::)

 evil: The one in my cattle prod is OK though. . . .
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: The Moan Ranger on August 16, 2009, 12:09:29 PM
WOMEN  cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Snoopy on August 16, 2009, 12:11:13 PM
A woman has broken your car?
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: The Moan Ranger on August 16, 2009, 12:16:11 PM
A woman has broken your car?

Yes, Mrs TMRBB. She borrowed it yesterday and didn't close the passenger door properly. When it is not shut properly, it will not lock using the remote. Rather than thinking "Oh, there must be a door not properly shut", she assumed the remote wasn't working (despite me putting a new battery in it only a month ago) and locked it with the key.

Result: Interior light stays on and now the battery is flat. We are meant to be heading off for Swindon now.

 Banghead Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Snoopy on August 16, 2009, 12:19:29 PM
Take the positives from this:
(i) No-one really wants to go to Swindon
(ii) It is an ideal reason to spank her and spend the afternoon having more fun that you'd have in Swindon  eyes:
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: The Moan Ranger on August 16, 2009, 12:23:36 PM
Take the positives from this:
(i) No-one really wants to go to Swindon
(ii) It is an ideal reason to spank her and spend the afternoon having more fun that you'd have in Swindon  eyes:

I hgave arranged to meet my old boss in the hope she can throw some contract work my way  cussing:
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Snoopy on August 16, 2009, 12:27:54 PM
Take the positives from this:
(i) No-one really wants to go to Swindon
(ii) It is an ideal reason to spank her and spend the afternoon having more fun that you'd have in Swindon  eyes:

I hgave arranged to meet my old boss in the hope she can throw some contract work my way  cussing:


Ah! That's a bugger then.

 rubschin: Go by bike or take MrsTRMBB's car and save the spanking until you return. The anticipation will sharpen her pleasure.
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: The Moan Ranger on August 16, 2009, 12:35:43 PM
Take the positives from this:
(i) No-one really wants to go to Swindon
(ii) It is an ideal reason to spank her and spend the afternoon having more fun that you'd have in Swindon  eyes:

I hgave arranged to meet my old boss in the hope she can throw some contract work my way  cussing:


Ah! That's a bugger then.

 rubschin: Go by bike or take MrsTRMBB's car and save the spanking until you return. The anticipation will sharpen her pleasure.

I am not driving a MR2 roadster to Swindon.  cussing:
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Snoopy on August 16, 2009, 12:57:53 PM
Call out Homestart. Make her push to jump start the car. Forget the trip ~ the list is endless but for Gawd's sake do summat!
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: The Moan Ranger on August 16, 2009, 01:15:25 PM
I have charged it for an hour and now it starts - it's about 90 miles to Swindon and we won't stop, so that will charge it up.
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Snoopy on August 16, 2009, 01:20:35 PM
Go for it fella!
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: The Moan Ranger on August 16, 2009, 01:42:32 PM
I have retired to the pub, the missus is driving :-)
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Snoopy on August 16, 2009, 02:03:26 PM
 happy088

I hope she is polishing the car whilst waiting for her Lord and Master to drink his fill.
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: The Moan Ranger on August 16, 2009, 02:11:14 PM
But of course :-)
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Snoopy on August 16, 2009, 02:14:06 PM
That's my boy! Keep 'em barefoot and in the kitchen until you have another use for them.
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 16, 2009, 02:37:35 PM
 noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo:

meanwhile back in the real world  whistle:
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 16, 2009, 02:50:38 PM
noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo:

meanwhile back in the real world  whistle:
Where's that then?
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Snoopy on August 16, 2009, 02:57:25 PM
Through that door over there ~ the one with "mooR gnitiaW s'doG" on the glass.
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 16, 2009, 03:37:09 PM
Through that door over there ~ the one with "mooR gnitiaW s'doG" on the glass.
KO  surrender:
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: The Moan Ranger on August 16, 2009, 04:20:08 PM
I am now being wafted in air conditioned comfort along the M4 ;+)
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Barman on August 16, 2009, 04:50:01 PM
I am now being wafted in air conditioned comfort along the M4 ;+)
He is driving the MR2 with the window open...  ::)
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 16, 2009, 07:01:39 PM
I am now being wafted in air conditioned comfort along the M4 ;+)
He is driving the MR2 with the window open...  ::)
No, the soft top is stuck down
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Barman on August 17, 2009, 03:34:48 AM
I am now being wafted in air conditioned comfort along the M4 ;+)
He is driving the MR2 with the window open...  ::)
No, the soft top is stuck down
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Nick on August 20, 2009, 06:33:55 AM
http://dizzythinks.net/2009/08/introducing-igun.html (http://dizzythinks.net/2009/08/introducing-igun.html)  razz:
Title: Re: F*ing cars
Post by: Barman on August 20, 2009, 06:59:55 AM
http://dizzythinks.net/2009/08/introducing-igun.html (http://dizzythinks.net/2009/08/introducing-igun.html)  razz:
razz: