The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Miss Demeanour on August 11, 2009, 07:27:45 AM

Title: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 11, 2009, 07:27:45 AM
I normally get into work by about 7.30.  There are a few early starters including 1 bloke who is normally in by 7.

This morning I got into the office to find him out cold, blood everywhere and another team member administering first aid  eeek: He had already called for an ambulance.

The guy had blacked out - hit his head on the corner of a concrete pillar and had a deep , nasty cut on his head. He came too slowly and then proceeded to be sick.

Poor sod

He has now been taken off to hospital with another colleague and I am now trying to organise for a clean up of the area.....what a fffing palava . Not in service level agreements for our contract cleaning services to do this etc etc etc...

There may be more blood spilt yet by the end of the day  evil:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Uncle Mort on August 11, 2009, 07:31:03 AM

There may be more blood spilt yet by the end of the day  evil:

Then you'll just have to clear that up as well.

Slip the office junior a few quid to clean it up.
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Nick on August 11, 2009, 07:49:20 AM
I hate vomit  evil:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 11, 2009, 07:53:59 AM
Then you'll just have to clear that up as well.
Slip the office junior a few quid to clean it up.


Office junior ...office junior  noooo:....this is local government you cannot use such derogatory terminology as that here Unc  lol:

Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Nick on August 11, 2009, 07:56:45 AM
Gopher? Deputy bin superintendent? Associate paper clip manager?
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Uncle Mort on August 11, 2009, 08:06:52 AM
Then you'll just have to clear that up as well.
Slip the office junior a few quid to clean it up.


Office junior ...office junior  noooo:....this is local government you cannot use such derogatory terminology as that here Unc  lol:

You lot are far too sensitive, probably why the chap fainted in the first place.
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Nick on August 11, 2009, 08:07:17 AM
Then you'll just have to clear that up as well.
Slip the office junior a few quid to clean it up.


Office junior ...office junior  noooo:....this is local government you cannot use such derogatory terminology as that here Unc  lol:

You lot are far too sensitive, probably why the chap fainted in the first place.
;D
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Barman on August 11, 2009, 08:10:07 AM
The old 'passed out and hit his head' story eh...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Nick on August 11, 2009, 08:10:45 AM
No, he didn't fall off the roof
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Barman on August 11, 2009, 08:12:27 AM
I reckon he hit himself over the head... um with an ice club so no evidence could be found...

They can't possibly make him redundo when he is off on the sick see...?  whistle:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 11, 2009, 08:15:29 AM
There have already been comments made about management brutality  eeek: ....just cos I was sitting next to him and he was covered in blood when people were coming in proves nothing at all  whistle:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 11, 2009, 09:54:46 AM
I now have to fill in an online accident report....complete a risk assessment and organise a occ health referral for his return to work.

I have also had to produce a report for the director and chief exec on what happened ...


feeling like banging my head on something sharp  cussing:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Uncle Mort on August 11, 2009, 10:08:46 AM
Here you go:

online accident report: Chap fainted, fell over, banged head.
risk assessment: fainting can cause accidents. Remedy: add question on employment form "how often do you faint in a year?" do NOT employ if answer over 1.
Referral for his return to work: return when a) bleeding has stopped. And b) when you have stopped seeing double.
report for the director and chief exec on what happened: "I wasn't there so I don't know"
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 11, 2009, 10:18:17 AM
Don't you love the simplicity of life in the private sector  worthy:

 lol:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: The Moan Ranger on August 11, 2009, 10:42:22 AM
We had a girl in the office who used to feint regularly - she never cracked her head open though and it always seemed to be on a Friday afternoon. She had great cans though, so she was always forgiven.
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 11, 2009, 10:47:59 AM
Especially if she fell forwards eh  lol:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: The Moan Ranger on August 11, 2009, 10:56:39 AM
There was usually a scramble of males to get their first - for the mouth-to-mouth and chest compressions. Just to be on the safe side, like  whistle:

And no, I didn't know at first that you weren't meant to use tongues during mouth-to-mouth...
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Snoopy on August 11, 2009, 10:59:47 AM
And at what point did you discover that the heart is not actually behind the breast you were so carefully massaging?  whistle:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: The Moan Ranger on August 11, 2009, 11:03:23 AM
And at what point did you discover that the heart is not actually behind the breast you were so carefully massaging?  whistle:

The thing I was massaging was lower down and had hair on it. Seemed to revive her pretty quickly  8)
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 11, 2009, 11:04:25 AM
Aaahh the pot of belly button fluff  lol:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 11, 2009, 11:12:24 AM
back to fainting fella - he has had 13 stitches in the head wound and is being kept in the hospital today  eeek:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Uncle Mort on August 11, 2009, 11:15:05 AM
Do you know what caused him to faint?
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 11, 2009, 11:17:08 AM
No  Shrugs:

ECG tests all appear fine and blood sugar levels etc seem also to be ok
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: The Moan Ranger on August 11, 2009, 11:27:30 AM
We had a chap at work who was always in early. It turns out it was becuase he hadn't made it home the night before. He didn't so much feint as fall asleep with the gentle aroma of stale lager wafting from him.

And no, we didn't try mouth-to-mouth on him.
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Uncle Mort on August 11, 2009, 11:33:59 AM
Sorry TMR but:

feint:
1. A feigned attack designed to draw defensive action away from an intended target.
2. A deceptive action calculated to divert attention from one's real purpose.

faint
1. To fall into a usually brief state of unconsciousness.

Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: The Moan Ranger on August 11, 2009, 11:43:14 AM
Sorry TMR but:

feint:
1. A feigned attack designed to draw defensive action away from an intended target.
2. A deceptive action calculated to divert attention from one's real purpose.

faint
1. To fall into a usually brief state of unconsciousness.



 redface: I was thinking that as I was typing it, but I convinced myself I was right.

I blame it on the fact I have been up since 4 o'clock in the bloody morning.
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Snoopy on August 11, 2009, 11:44:04 AM
An unusual faint of that sort can be heart related and not show up on an ECG ~ it happens to me from time to time only in my case I don't faint because the implanted defibrillator kicks in and shocks me back. Some people do develop a heart problem that results in the heart literally stopping and then restarting itself and this doesn't show on an ECG because the event is well over before the ECG is taken.

See: http://www.stars.org.uk/

Click on Medical Info on the menu to the left hand side of the screen and then on Blackouts.

This BTW is a charity well worth supporting.
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: The Moan Ranger on August 11, 2009, 11:49:46 AM
An unusual faint of that sort can be heart related and not show up on an ECG ~ it happens to me from time to time only in my case I don't faint because the implanted defibrillator kicks in and shocks me back. Some people do develop a heart problem that results in the heart literally stopping and then restarting itself and this doesn't show on an ECG because the event is well over before the ECG is taken.

See: http://www.stars.org.uk/

Click on Medical Info on the menu to the left hand side of the screen and then on Blackouts.

This BTW is a charity well worth supporting.

Seconded, a friends daughter suffers from this.
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 12, 2009, 08:10:49 PM
Do you know what caused him to faint?
No  Shrugs:

ECG tests all appear fine and blood sugar levels etc seem also to be ok
You can ask again at the hospital when you go for your HIV test.
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Nick on August 12, 2009, 08:17:28 PM
Tsk  noooo:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 12, 2009, 08:19:55 PM
Tsk  noooo:

Well, you can't be too careful after handling a blood-spattered workmate.  noooo:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 12, 2009, 08:38:17 PM
No fear...I don't have any open wounds...just the scars on my soul  cry:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 14, 2009, 08:08:52 AM
No fear...I don't have any open wounds...just the scars on my soul  cry:

Yes, we all have scars on our souls.  noooo:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 18, 2009, 07:26:13 AM
And so the day begins  Banghead

Yesterday one of the people in my team hadn't shown up for work by lunchtime. She was due to be in but no call received offering an explanation etc. So I rang her mobile and home numbers and left messages.

At 2 o clock she emailed in to say she would be taking the day off as leave due to circumstances beyond her control  Shrugs:

I replied and said the following:-

"........you are aware of the absence reporting procedure and I'm sure you can appreciate the onus is on an individual to telephone a manager, regardless of the circumstances, before 10am. I do not consider an email at 2pm prompted by my phone messages to be adequate notification or acceptable.
 
Obviously I am unaware of the circumstances for which you have taken time off and we will need to discuss the matter upon your return to the office.
 
We can make retrospective arrangements for you to take the time as leave/flexi when we meet. Unless I hear further from you I will assume that you will return to work tomorrow
."

Surely this is reasonable... rubschin:

I have opened up my messages this morning to find this reply :-

"Tone of your email is completely unnecessary. The time taken is annual leave I have not requested special leave or sick leave. You have no idea the circumstances of my late reporting,  Your exaggerated response is unacceptable. I am totally unaware that you rang me and my email to you confirmed I will be in Tuesday, and confirmed  AL or flexi leave  if my hours allow.
I am now in need of taking Tuesday off , as A/L."


let the battle commence
 Explode:



Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Uncle Mort on August 18, 2009, 07:30:12 AM
Sack her!
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Barman on August 18, 2009, 07:44:04 AM
Keeeel her!  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 18, 2009, 07:53:13 AM
She is also the one that has taken out a grievance against me for refusing her some training ( discrimination etc ) . The course was for 18months. Cost ?4k and was for managers - which is not her position.

 cussing: cussing: cussing:

Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Uncle Mort on August 18, 2009, 08:22:19 AM
Sack her then keeeel her!

If she wants special treatment and compassion she should have told you the circumstances of her taking time off and not advising you.

Somehow though I get the feeling that the circumstances will turn out to be trivial.

Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Nick on August 18, 2009, 08:22:46 AM
She prolly had an accident with a paint pod
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 18, 2009, 08:24:25 AM
She has a real feckin issue with any kind of authority.......and has absolutely no concept that any of her behaviour is wrong and never will.

This can only end badly  noooo:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Barman on August 18, 2009, 08:25:21 AM
She has a real feckin issue with any kind of authority.......and has absolutely no concept that any of her behaviour is wrong and never will.

This can only end badly  noooo:
For her!  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Snoopy on August 18, 2009, 09:06:49 AM
She has a real feckin issue with any kind of authority.......and has absolutely no concept that any of her behaviour is wrong and never will.

This can only end badly  noooo:


Write a considered report enclosing copies of all relevant correspondence, times of your calls etc, stating that you feel unable to deal with the matter due to the outstanding grievance and dump the whole matter on HR. When she arrives, eventually, for work you would be within your rights to suspend her on full pay until those above you can resolve the matter. Meanwhile instruct the pay section to deduct her pay for the period of absence as she has failed to comply with the (presumably) written procedures and has thus no permission to be absent. Well that's how it would have been dealt with in the world of employment that I came from and certainly, in my days as a Post Office Union Officer, would have drawn no complaint from the union as the employee is (i) breaking the agreed procedures (and all unions know it is their own interests to maintain those) and (ii) by passing the buck upwards you will take the argument away from the personal level that she is relying on and thus remove the union reps major headache and allow them to discuss an "arrangement" to mutual advantage with "management".

 But what do I know ~ it would probably be easier to keeeeeel her!
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 18, 2009, 09:14:20 AM
She has a real feckin issue with any kind of authority.......and has absolutely no concept that any of her behaviour is wrong and never will.

This can only end badly  noooo:


Write a considered report enclosing copies of all relevant correspondence, times of your calls etc, stating that you feel unable to deal with the matter due to the outstanding grievance and dump the whole matter on HR. When she arrives, eventually, for work you would be within your rights to suspend her on full pay until those above you can resolve the matter. Meanwhile instruct the pay section to deduct her pay for the period of absence as she has failed to comply with the (presumably) written procedures and has thus no permission to be absent. Well that's how it would have been dealt with in the world of employment that I came from and certainly, in my days as a Post Office Union Officer, would have drawn no complaint from the union as the employee is (i) breaking the agreed procedures (and all unions know it is their own interests to maintain those) and (ii) by passing the buck upwards you will take the argument away from the personal level that she is relying on and thus remove the union reps major headache and allow them to discuss an "arrangement" to mutual advantage with "management".

 But what do I know ~ it would probably be easier to keeeeeel her!

Wot he said.

I am also offering a special deal to all VP members of 10% off a "Slurry Surprise" if ordered before 1st September.


Terms and conditions apply
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Bar Wench on August 18, 2009, 07:51:13 PM
She has a real feckin issue with any kind of authority.......and has absolutely no concept that any of her behaviour is wrong and never will.

This can only end badly  noooo:

Get rid of her and hire me! I can bow and scrape with aplomb and make a fab cup of tea! I also have no history of fainting.
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 18, 2009, 07:55:20 PM
Hey u - good to see you here . You have been missed  cry:

PS I would love to hire you - at least I would have a laugh at work  lol:


And I so don't expect bowing or scraping - just to do what you are meant to do - that's all
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Bar Wench on August 18, 2009, 08:08:10 PM
You mean bowing and scraping isn't part of the job description? It isn't a standard requirment!?!?!?!?  eeek:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Snoopy on August 18, 2009, 08:11:01 PM
Only at a senior management level  whistle:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 20, 2009, 07:35:08 AM
OK - after yet another inappropriate email from the woman in question this morning regarding her being AWOL I have confirmed in writing to her today that I will be taking formal action for misconduct  cussing:

Whoop de doo - this will mean months of hassle  noooo:

And so the day begins  cry:

Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Uncle Mort on August 20, 2009, 07:38:12 AM
The woman is a fool.

When someone uses the phrase "You can't get the staff these days" when commenting on an employee my retort is "wrong, you can't get rid of the staff these days!"

Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 20, 2009, 07:42:38 AM
She has requested voluntary redundancy although her job is not at risk ( a case of jumping on the bandwagon) . What's the bet that even though she has a guaranteed job she is making life difficult enough that they will consider just paying her off.

Boils my noodles it really does  Banghead
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Nick on August 20, 2009, 08:18:52 AM
Booby trap her chair  eveilgrin:

http://gizmodo.com/5157354/boy-killed-anally-when-office-chair-explodes (http://gizmodo.com/5157354/boy-killed-anally-when-office-chair-explodes)
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 20, 2009, 09:15:22 AM
I have arranged a meeting with HR at 11 - whats the bet they will shy away from this  evil:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Nick on August 20, 2009, 09:17:43 AM
HR are always useless, but none of them ever gets made redundant for some reason  whistle:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 20, 2009, 09:35:16 AM
Booby trap her chair  eveilgrin:

http://gizmodo.com/5157354/boy-killed-anally-when-office-chair-explodes (http://gizmodo.com/5157354/boy-killed-anally-when-office-chair-explodes)

Ouch...Where on earth do you get these things from Nick?







I am now going to swap my office chair for a hard chair. scared2:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 20, 2009, 01:29:14 PM
 Explode: Explode: Explode:

HR want mediation  Banghead

her latest email

An apology was contained in the first email I sent you,  within that same email I confirmed my time of return.  An apology means I was in breach of procedure. In the same email I explained it was circumstances outside my control. A personal matter. I signalled in that  same email  I would be taken that time as AL or flexi.  What else could have been done?

Your instance on telling matters I am aware of is unclear.

My reasons for failing to notify the department on time , is in trying to meet the deadline for an assignment for a management course (which the department refused to sponsor me on)  I overslept. . I worked on  the assignment  till 4am  Monday.  The intention was to come into work, but I overslept.

I notified the department as soon as I was able to. Your inference suggesting I only  emailed because you rang, was insulting. I had no way of knowing you had called or left a message on my phone. Your accusation of  saying I was aggressive, is equally offensive.  No doubt you have your reasons for wanting to create such impressions in writing,  go ahead, but be sure it is based on evidence .

In 12 years, only twice have notified the council late in terms of my absence if that is a hanging offence , that is a decision for you.

Your exaggerated response on the matter show the unfairness and inconsistency of treatment of various staff.  There are greater abusers of council time in the xxx department , I don't see management make a move with respect to those.

Your management style would be more effective, if you weren't so concerned  with positioning.

Anyone fancy a drink after work  evil:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Snoopy on August 20, 2009, 01:35:24 PM
What are we drinking ~ Blood?
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Snoopy on August 20, 2009, 01:40:46 PM
Re-reading that email may I take it that English is not her mother tongue?
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Uncle Mort on August 20, 2009, 01:43:58 PM
She OVERSLEPT!  eeek:

oh good grief!
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Snoopy on August 20, 2009, 01:44:35 PM
My old standby when dealing with HR was to declare that I felt unable to have the person back in my department as I had lost confidence and trust in them therefore, whilst I would not object to their continued employment in another department, they could not work under my direction.
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 20, 2009, 01:59:03 PM
Explode: Explode: Explode:

HR want mediation  Banghead

her latest email

An apology was contained in the first email I sent you,  within that same email I confirmed my time of return.  An apology means I was in breach of procedure. In the same email I explained it was circumstances outside my control. A personal matter. I signalled in that  same email  I would be taken that time as AL or flexi.  What else could have been done?

Your instance on telling matters I am aware of is unclear.

My reasons for failing to notify the department on time , is in trying to meet the deadline for an assignment for a management course (which the department refused to sponsor me on)  I overslept. . I worked on  the assignment  till 4am  Monday.  The intention was to come into work, but I overslept.

I notified the department as soon as I was able to. Your inference suggesting I only  emailed because you rang, was insulting. I had no way of knowing you had called or left a message on my phone. Your accusation of  saying I was aggressive, is equally offensive.  No doubt you have your reasons for wanting to create such impressions in writing,  go ahead, but be sure it is based on evidence .

In 12 years, only twice have notified the council late in terms of my absence if that is a hanging offence , that is a decision for you.

Your exaggerated response on the matter show the unfairness and inconsistency of treatment of various staff.  There are greater abusers of council time in the xxx department , I don't see management make a move with respect to those.

Your management style would be more effective, if you weren't so concerned  with positioning.

Anyone fancy a drink after work  evil:


They are on me!   happy100
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 20, 2009, 01:59:32 PM
Re-reading that email may I take it that English is not her mother tongue?

Forked tongue?
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Barman on August 20, 2009, 02:55:58 PM
Re-reading that email may I take it that English is not her mother tongue?

Forked tongue?
Fork off more like!  evil:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 20, 2009, 02:57:11 PM
Unfortunately English is her 1st language - hatred and bile her second  evil:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Snoopy on August 20, 2009, 03:23:33 PM
Bloody semi literate then! ~ anywhooo, that makes it easier to get shot of her.
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 20, 2009, 03:24:06 PM
I have a feeling I am more likely to go than she is  sad24:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Snoopy on August 20, 2009, 03:27:18 PM
Then sue her  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Pastis on August 20, 2009, 03:42:14 PM
Unbloodybelievable!   noooo:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Nick on August 20, 2009, 08:08:04 PM
She is clearly a tosspot and deserves shooting.  cussing:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: tel on August 21, 2009, 06:37:54 AM
Try this.

http://www.personneltoday.com/blogs/human-resources-guru/2009/08/oh-good-its-national-hug-your.html
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 21, 2009, 07:21:15 AM
Not feckin likely  eeek:
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Uncle Mort on August 21, 2009, 07:40:03 AM
If Growler was around you could have got him in to give her a bear hug!
Title: Re: How not to start the day off ....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 21, 2009, 07:42:47 AM
Ahhhhh Growler  cloud9: ...wouldn't mind a big bear hug myself  lol: