The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Snoopy on September 06, 2009, 11:59:33 AM
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Reported in the Telegraph this is a list of the 100 MOST ANNOYING THINGS in the world ~ I think we could have told them had they bothered to ask.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/howaboutthat/6131208/The-100-most-annoying-things-poll.html
1. Chavs
2. People driving close behind you
3. People who smell
4. People who eat with their mouth open
5. Rude shop assistants
6. Foreign call centres
7. Stepping in dog poo
8. People who cough and do not cover their mouths
9. Slow internet connections
10. Poor customer service
11. Dog owners that don't clean up after their dog
12. Noisy Eaters
13. Cold-callers
14. Door-to-door salesman
15. Stubbing your toe
16. Bullying
17. Computer crashing losing work you've spent three hours doing
18. People who talk loudly on their mobile phones
19. Spam email
20. The nation's obsession with Z-list celebrities
21. Leaving a tissue in a pocket and putting it in a washing machine
22. Driving slow in the fast lane
23. Adverts in between programmes
24. Toilets you have to pay for
25. The nation's obsession with the Katie & Peter split saga
26. People reading over your shoulder
27. People that park in disabled bays when they're not disabled
28. Brownnosers
29. People who complain about their weight yet make no effort to exercise or eat properly
30. People jumping the queue at the bar
31. Junk mail
32. Tailgaters
33. Big Brother
34. Muggers
35. MPs' expenses
36. Stepping in chewing gum
37. Pricey train fares
38. People who walk painfully slowly on the street
39. Noisy neighbours
40. People who sniff and don't use a tissue
41. Sweating
42. Binge drinking culture
43. Feeling bloated
44. The recession
45. Delays at the airport
46. Automated phone systems
47. Smoking
48. Road rage
49. People that have their mobile turned off when you really need to get in contact with them
50. Running out of toilet roll
51. Coverage of Michael Jackson's death
52. Reality TV
53. Flies
54. Finding a flat tyre
55. Parking costs
56. Bossiness
57. Rubbish opening times to doctors, dentists
58. When your washing machine breaks down
59. Politicians
60. Paper cuts
61. Buses not arriving on time
62. Singers who mime
63. People who can't park properly
64. Over packaged kids toys
65. Diarrhoea
66. Constipation
67. Text message speak
68. Bad hair days
69. Getting something in your eye
70. The hot water running out when you're running a bath
71. People who drive in the middle lane of motorways
72. People who mumble
73. Slow traffic lights
74. Cashiers giving you your change on top of a receipt
75. Cramp
76. Reading about Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston saga
77. Unpredictable weather
78. Cars blocking pedestrian crossings
79. Adult acne
80. People who are not polite in emails
81. Yo-yo dieting celebs
82. Trying to find the end of the sticking tape or toilet roll
83. Pimped up cars
84. Traffic wardens
85. Losing your passport
86. Running out of petrol
87. Burning your toast
88. Sunburn
89. iPhone obsessives
90. Celebrity fitness DVDs
91. People addicted to watching soaps
92. Breaking a nail
93. Bankers
94. PDA (public displays of affection)
95. Under performance
96. Someone altering your seat height at work
97. People who don't remove their shoes in the house
98. Children at weddings
99. Hot weather when you're not on holiday
100. Sports commentary
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A handy reference list though happy088
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101. Landlady. ::)
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happy100
Wassa matter?
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She has him bizzy cleaning or summat noooo:
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She is driving me mental like... noooo:
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That is called her job description. Wanna swop?
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That is called her job description. Wanna swop?
If it wasn't for the fact that she was going away for five weeks on Tuesday I'd bite your arm off! Banghead
What would you swap her for...? rubschin:
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One slightly used Mrs Nick angel1
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One slightly used Mrs Nick angel1
With extra Boy for improved aggravation action.
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One slightly used Mrs Nick angel1
rubschin:
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She is driving me mental like... noooo:
I'm surprised that nobody has pointed this out already but how do we tell the difference? whistle:
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point:
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She is driving me mental like... noooo:
I'm surprised that nobody has pointed this out already but how do we tell the difference? whistle:
rubschin:
Shrugs:
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So what exactly is she doing?
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So what exactly is she doing?
It is everything she says and everything she does... cussing:
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She let you have a new bike whistle:
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Well not long to go. Then five weeks of freedom and a visit from Miss D eyes:
Remote control bossing about can be ignored
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She let you have a new bike whistle:
At a price..... whistle:
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Well not long to go. Then five weeks of freedom and a visit from Miss D eyes:
Remote control bossing about can be ignored
eyes:
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Well not long to go. Then five weeks of freedom and a visit from Miss D eyes:
Remote control bossing about can be ignored
Shouldn't this all be in the Wimmin ( sub context species from another planet ) thread noooo: noooo: noooo:
And I don't think my visit will provide him with much of a reprieve I'm afraid eveilgrin:
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Quite so eveilgrin:
I hear LL has given you sealed orders
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Well not long to go. Then five weeks of freedom and a visit from Miss D eyes:
Remote control bossing about can be ignored
eyes:
OI !!!!!!!!
None of that eyebrow waving thank you evil:
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Well not long to go. Then five weeks of freedom and a visit from Miss D eyes:
Remote control bossing about can be ignored
eyes:
OI !!!!!!!!
None of that eyebrow waving thank you evil:
redface:
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OI !!!!!!!!
None of that eyebrow waving thank you evil:
Just be grateful it's his eyebrows. Other possibilities are too horrible to contemplate sick2:
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I will take my nail scissors just in case whistle:
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lol: lol:
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Hello! He's vanished. eeek:
And so must I ~ time for pills and a book at bedtime I think.
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Night night
Hope the back is a bit better tomorrow.
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Early night for me too sleep017
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# 102. Children in Pubs noooo:
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You are a magnet for them noooo:
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She did rather throw herself in my / our direction noooo:
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She did rather throw herself in my / our direction noooo:
Miss D? rubschin:
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Tsk noooo:
As if
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She did rather throw herself in my / our direction noooo:
Miss D? rubschin:
Obviously ::)
and when the 'other' small child saw me sitting on his lap she wanted some attention too noooo:
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She did rather throw herself in my / our direction noooo:
Miss D? rubschin:
Obviously ::)
and when the 'other' small child saw me sitting on his lap she wanted some attention too noooo:
Once a lapdancer, always a lapdancer... noooo:
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When we had a pub I made it a strict rule that no children were allowed within the premises.
Some people argued that they "Had a right" to bring their children in.
My response was always that I didn't think it a suitable environment for children and since it was my pub I would not allow them in.
One twat argued with me that he had the "Law on his side" so I promptly barred him for life. He still argued so I called the local police to escort him from the premises.
Although the law now says that children may enter licensed premises it is still at the discretion of the licensee. Personally if I go to a pub that is full of children or even one child making a nuisance of itself I tell the landlord that unless he gets rid of them he will not see my custom again.
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Yesterday, whilst gossiping profusely with Pastis, I believe I may have have laughed out loud and said some form of expletive whistle:
Middle class mummy dearest , turned round and scowled at me as her precious bundles of joy may have heard
So I carried on regardless whistle:
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Popcorn:
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Yesterday, whilst gossiping profusely with Pastis, I believe I may have have laughed out loud and said some form of expletive whistle:
Middle class mummy dearest , turned round and scowled at me as her precious bundles of joy may have heard
So I carried on regardless whistle:
Exactly ~ Pubs is for grown-ups.
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Yesterday, whilst gossiping profusely with Pastis, I believe I may have have laughed out loud and said some form of expletive whistle:
Middle class mummy dearest , turned round and scowled at me as her precious bundles of joy may have heard
So I carried on regardless whistle:
Potty mouth... noooo:
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So sorry oh angelic one ::)
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So sorry oh angelic one ::)
lol: lol: lol:
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Popcorn:
The code of conduct from Sunday lunches prevents me from disclosing further details I'm afraid....suffice to say it's a shame Tales of the Unexpected is no longer on the telly - I may have a new storyline for them whistle:
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cussing:
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and so the day begins lol:
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And so it does. Had a call from the doctors' surgery on Thursday saying the Doc needed to speak to me about the Boy's medication. Could he call me this morning. Yes.
He called.
Doc: So what can I do for you?
Me: Um, you wanted to call me
Doc: Did I? Why was that?
Me: I dunno
Silence
Me: The Boy perhaps?
Doc: Maybe, let me see.....(chin scratching noises)#
Pause
Doc: Oh I see. No, I don't need to call you.
Me: Good.
The End noooo:
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See - you've always baffled the medical profession whistle:
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Indeed. I have my pics in a medical textbook! angel1
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Do I dare ask what for ... scared2:
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I caught a rare tropical disease in Yorkshire. I was ill for ages. Lots of doctors who all asked 'Have you been to Africa recently?' scared2:
When they finally diagnosed it they were thrilled to bits (so was I - ever been in quarantine? evil:).
They wanted to photograph me for a textbook (amongst other things I was shedding my skin daily in the manner of a snake eeek:)
It made the national press angel1
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SWWLTBO had that when she was about 12/13. Took a year to get over it ~ she never did find out what it was called but her skin was rubbed off by the bed linen every night. Great strips of it according to her. As far as she can recall no-one seemed too bothered. She was given lots of creams that did no good, no-one took any photographs and her GP said "She'll prolly grow out of it". No quarantine but some considerable time off school ("to prevent infections").
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It turned out to be scarlet fever. All my hair fell out. And my fingernails. And my toenails.
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She kept her hair and nails.
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So did I. In a box evil:
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sick2:
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eeek: eeek: eeek:
I had a broken nail once whistle:
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How awful for you. Did you have counselling?
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Don't . I can't talk about it too much as I still get flashbacks noooo:
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# 103 Tactile paving (tactile surface patterning)* at pedestrian crossings noooo:
Very disturbing after a glass or two noooo:
* I had to look that up redface:
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a glass or two
char048
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# 103 Tactile paving
I thought I was being accused of something else then lol:
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No dear, not pawing ::)
He wasn't complaining about that
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# 104 Websites that keep deciding to update their look and move the regular features around so you have to start hunting for that particular function that was always in the top right hand corner and now is nowhere to be found cussing:
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BM please note