The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Miss Demeanour on October 07, 2009, 09:42:10 AM
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And for today's nonsense....
due to all the upheaval and trauma of the last few months the powers that be have decided in their unquestionable wisdom that all teams need to have some kind of team building event noooo: noooo: noooo:
So what have they organised......
what could possibly be the worst idea you could think of.....
no it's worse than that.......
honestly......
Salsa and Ballroom dances for each team with a 'dance off ' - happy001 happy001 happy001
I may need to go to hospital this afternoon to have a rib replaced as I have been laughing so much.
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Do you have the right numbers, gender wise, to carry this off?
And what about the risk assessment?
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Joyce Grenfell comes to mind:
My neighbour, Mrs Fanshaw, is portly-plump and gay,
She must be over sixty-seven, if she is a day.
You might have thought her life was dull,
It's one long whirl instead.
I asked her all about it, and this is what she said:
I've joined an Olde Thyme Dance Club, the trouble is that there
Are too many ladies over, and no gentlemen to spare.
It seems a shame, it's not the same,
But still it has to be,
Some ladies have to dance together,
One of them is me.
Stately as a galleon, I sail across the floor,
Doing the Military Two-step, as in the days of yore.
I dance with Mrs Tiverton; she's light on her feet, in spite
Of turning the scale at fourteen stone, and being of medium height.
So gay the band,
So giddy the sight,
Full evening dress is a must,
But the zest goes out of a beautiful waltz
When you dance it bust to bust.
So, stately as two galleons, we sail across the floor,
Doing the Valse Valeta as in the days of yore.
The gent is Mrs Tiverton, I am her lady fair,
She bows to me ever so nicely and I curtsey to her with care.
So gay the band,
So giddy the sight,
But it's not the same in the end
For a lady is never a gentleman, though
She may be your bosom friend.
So, stately as a galleon, I sail across the floor,
Doing the dear old Lancers, as in the days of yore.
I'm led by Mrs Tiverton, she swings me round and round
And though she manoeuvres me wonderfully well
I never get off the ground.
So gay the band,
So giddy the sight,
I try not to get depressed.
And it's done me a power of good to explode,
And get this lot off my chest.
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Wouldn't an anonymous call to local media put a stop to it, or is it your own time with no funding provided by "the management"
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5pm start ...but staff will be given TOIL for attending noooo:
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The phrase "Fuck right off!" springs to mind... noooo:
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Not a dancer then BM lol:
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Not a dancer then BM lol:
noooo: redface:
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I have a departmental 'team building' get-to-together tomorrow evening.
Original suggestion was a badminton tournament eeek:
We've settled on pub, miniature golf, restaurant.
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A pub night, free booze, etc. That is team building! cloud9:
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FYI, just found this:
http://www.qype.co.uk/place/815803-Golf-Devonshire-Square-London (http://www.qype.co.uk/place/815803-Golf-Devonshire-Square-London)
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I refused to attend any such events ~ same as "meetings". Waste of my time and energy. Anything that didn't earn money for the company and thus increase my bonus payments was a strict "No thank you!"
I was often accused by senior management of "Not being a team player" but since I was, year after year, the top earning salesman in the company I frankly didn't give a f*ck.
Work was something I did to earn money. Bonding with other employees, who I would not dream of knowing socially, was not in my contract.
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So you never 'bonded' with anyone you worked with eyes:
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Shagged a few if that's what you're asking. Married one of 'em.
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And for today's nonsense....
due to all the upheaval and trauma of the last few months the powers that be have decided in their unquestionable wisdom that all teams need to have some kind of team building event noooo: noooo: noooo:
So what have they organised......
what could possibly be the worst idea you could think of.....
no it's worse than that.......
honestly......
Salsa and Ballroom dances for each team with a 'dance off ' - happy001 happy001 happy001
I may need to go to hospital this afternoon to have a rib replaced as I have been laughing so much.
What an excellent idea, VP Come Dancing, as it were. I might be persuaded to sew a few sequins onto violent pink netting and an acre of chiffon and that's just for the chaps...
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I've tried Salsa, all it proved is I have two left feet and no sense of rhythm.
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I've tried Salsa, all it proved is I have two left feet and no sense of rhythm.
I thought you dipped those crispy things in it... redface:
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What ...your toes whistle:
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Team bonding became a lot more interesting, when they put the first female on my shift.
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What ...your toes whistle:
No, salsa... Shrugs:
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Team bonding became a lot more interesting, when they put the first female on my shift.
I'm surprised you noticed if you were working in IT lol: lol: lol:
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Team bonding became a lot more interesting, when they put the first female on my shift.
I'm surprised you noticed if you were working in IT lol: lol: lol:
I was surprised when I found out that the other 2 shift leaders had said that they did not want a female on their shifts.
It was some time before I found out that it was illegal for
a) a sixteen girl old girl to be working a night shift
b) a female and a male to be working alone at night in a building (there was a caretaker but apparebtly that did not make any difference)
And yes I did notice, particularly some later when her and by then another female op, came onto the night shift (12-8) wearing hot pants and thigh boots.
That was a long hard night.
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[And yes I did notice, particularly some later when her and by then another female op, came onto the night shift (12-8) wearing hot pants and thigh boots.
That was a long hard night.
rubschin:
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rubschin: Indeed!
I don't think I've ever been on a team building whatever it's called; it all sounds absurd and far to full of expectation. Why not just book some time off for the "team" and make it enjoyable?
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Blindingly obvious really innit or at least it should be that simple ~ trouble is that "Team Building" qualifies as part of their "Investors in People" bulls hit ~ what "Team Builders" forget is time spent building relationships at work is like trying to teach you how to get on with that other group of people that you didn't select to be your friends but feel you have to try to like i.e. The Inlaws scared2:
Frankly we all have friends and families that we would like to spend more time with or, failing that, some ironing that we would rather be doing ~ anything rather than being exhorted to play silly bloody games with relative strangers under the instruction of some right-on twat who is earning a bloody fortune for spouting the bollox at your group.
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A a newly promoted
arselicker manager at a place I used to work at years ago suggested paintball for team building on his first day running our department, not realising just what we thought of him. To be fair it did work, we ignored the teams and all ganged up on the irritating little gimp.
29 members of staff, 250 paintballs each.........
1 target......
You can imagine the state he was in by the end of the day, the bruises took ages to fade. Strangely enough he found a job elsewhere not long afterwards. eveilgrin: