The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Medical Centre => Topic started by: Snoopy on October 26, 2009, 12:45:14 PM
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I have been suffering from severe backache for about 6 weeks. I took it to the GP, saw a locum, and he, without looking at my back, diagnosed a back strain and offered me a sick note. I explained that I was retired and therefore was more interested in a cure for my ills than time off. Somewhat taken aback he asked a couple more questions, checked my 'pooterised notes and said "I can't give you anything other than Paracetamol or Co-Codemol because of the heart drugs you take" So I accept the codeine/paracetamol mix and limp home. Within a few days I am seriously constipated. Not an unforecastable result of 4 hourly doses of codeine you might say but in the process of "moving the log jam" I become aware of a serious pain in the rectum. "Here we go Snoops ~ the Farmer Giles' are going to start playing up" I think.
A week goes by and still serious pain in the arse so back to the GP. "Piles" he announces without looking up from the 'pooter screen "Here's a prescription for some cream that'll help". I totter back home. Another 10 days pass and still extreme pain whenever I take a dump. Cautious internal self examination discloses a large lump just inside the rectum so back I go to the GP. This time it's "drop your trousers and I'll have a look" .....................
.................... "Hmmmm, not really piles ~ I think you may have a boil there, I'll give you some max strength antibiotics, take them for a week and try not to sh*t more than once a day" eeek:
A week later I return to the GP. "It's no better Doc, if anything the swelling is bigger"
"Hmmmm, have some more antibiotics and if it doesn't improve over the weekend we'll think about the hospital to have it drained"
"Do you drain a boil? I thought you lanced a boil but drained an abscess"
"Well I'm not certain it is a boil as it is not responding to the antibiotic"
Week end of total misery and pain.
This morning I 'phone the GP "Doc, it's no better"
"Hmmm ~ you'd better take it to A&E"
"Doc, I don't want to be difficult but this is neither an accident nor an emergency ~ why don't you refer me to the appropriate department using you nice new shiny 'pooterised system that enables you to bypass the post system?"
"Nah, be quicker for you to go to A&E"
So I go to A&E. A 6 hour wait eeek:. I know the sister in charge, she lives in the village.
"Hello Dilys, Busy today"
"Hello Snoopy, what brings you in under your own steam, much more used to seeing you being carried in by the paramedics"
"Well it's like this ~ I had what Dr XXXX thinks was a boil in me bum but having treated it for 12 days he now thinks it may be a perinial abscess"
"Oh Christ ~ that's painful .... well I can't push you in front of anyone pet and if you wait you'll be seen but I honestly don't think you'll get into see a doctor inside of 6 hours, it's like a fairground in here today"
At which point a distracted mother rushes in carrying a toddler with blood streaming from its head and my pal leaps into action, grabs the child and bustles off bellowing at people to get out of her way. She comes back to me ten minutes later. "They're stitching him now" she says in response to my quizzical look. "So what are we going to do with you?"
"Well" I say "To my mind I have no business to be here. This is neither an accident nor an emergency just a pain in the arse, what do you suggest"
"Go home, you look like you are shaking and sweating, when did you last eat?"
"Yesterday afternoon, I didn't want to eat because to eat means to sh*t and to sh*t hurts, besides I know they wont do anything to drain this thing until I have gone 12 hours without eating 'cos of the anesthetic"
"Yes, well you are diabetic and are displaying all the symptoms of needing to top up your blood sugars before you collapse so go home, eat and then phone your GP and tell him from me to stop being lazy and refer you in the proper manner to the right department and you will be seen quicker than if you hang around here"
~ so I come home, calling my GP from my mobile en route. He is with a patient but will call me at home within the hour.
Just had a call from the practice manager to say "Come in and see Dr XXXX in the morning at 0910, He'll have another look at you and refer you if necessary. Meanwhile he says if it gets any worse go to A&E" Banghead
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Ouch eeek: eeek: eeek:
It's a shame you can't make a self referral noooo:
What on earth is the point of going to the doctors again in the morning evil:.....can he not just make the necessary calls to get you seen to at the hospital tomorrow rather than delay this for yet another day ? noooo:
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happy100
It all sounds truly, bloody horrible ~ the condition, the treatment and the manner in which you haven't been treated noooo:
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It wouldn't be so bad but I diagnosed it from the internet ~ why can't the GP, with all his training, see what is staring him in the face?
He's not actually a bad doctor as GPs go and it helps that I quite like the bloke but honestly ...... it seems that none of them want to take responsibility anymore. In the good old days it would have been "Come back at the end of morning surgery and I'll drain that for you" and on reporting back I'd have been into the treatment room, kecks off and on the table, a quick jab with a local anesthetic, a deft turn of the scapel and a dressing slapped on the wound. Instructions issued over his shoulder as he washed his hands about keeping it clean and bathing it in salt water for a week and I'd be home drinking a reviving cuppa within 30 minutes. Now GPs are all about "let's see what way we can manipulate the system so it doesn't come off our budget".
I will be referred to the hospital eventually and it will get sorted but not until a fortune has been spent and debited by the hosp against the Local Health Board's account for various CT scans, tests etc that they will undertake prior to simply sticking a needle in me arse and then draining the abscess.
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It wouldn't be so bad but I diagnosed it from the internet ~ why can't the GP, with all his training, see what is staring him in the face?
He's not actually a bad doctor as GPs go and it helps that I quite like the bloke but honestly ...... it seems that none of them want to take responsibility anymore. In the good old days it would have been "Come back at the end of morning surgery and I'll drain that for you" and on reporting back I'd have been into the treatment room, kecks off and on the table, a quick jab with a local anesthetic, a deft turn of the scapel and a dressing slapped on the wound. Instructions issued over his shoulder as he washed his hands about keeping it clean and bathing it in salt water for a week and I'd be home drinking a reviving cuppa within 30 minutes. Now GPs are all about "let's see what way we can manipulate the system so it doesn't come off our budget".
I will be referred to the hospital eventually and it will get sorted but not until a fortune has been spent and debited by the hosp against the Local Health Board's account for various CT scans, tests etc that they will undertake prior to simply sticking a needle in me arse and then draining the abscess.
I will do it for you free of charge. As long as I get photo rights for the Random Image Thread.
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Very kind I am sure ::) ~ I had considered sitting on my bayonet but after looking for it for five hours I remembered that I had to give it back at the same time as I returned the tin hat.
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Very kind I am sure ::) ~ I had considered sitting on my bayonet but after looking for it for five hours I remembered that I had to give it back at the same time as I returned the tin hat.
Show off! ;D
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Very kind I am sure ::) ~ I had considered sitting on my bayonet but after looking for it for five hours I remembered that I had to give it back at the same time as I returned the tin hat.
Show off! ;D
I wish! confused:
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Did I tell you I know a chap called Lance Boyle?
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Not until now you hadn't.
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Not until now you hadn't.
Must have been in another place. redface:
I say Snoopy, I know this chap called Lance Boyle. lol:
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Is it Susan's brother ?????
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Is it Susan's brother ?????
No, a barrow boy I'm afraid.
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Is it Susan's brother ?????
No, a barrow boy I'm afraid.
Berek? scared2:
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Is it Susan's brother ?????
No, a barrow boy I'm afraid.
Berek? scared2:
Hawaayyy like! lol:
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Snoops - missing in action for over a day eeek:
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Just read his woes.
eeek: the only comment possible.
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He is here... cloud9:
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I am returned!
Just been released from hospital. Went in yesterday morning, operated on yesterday early evening.
Feeling much more comfortable now.
The abscess had been caused by a "Fistula" forming that then became infected (hence the abscess)
Operation involved draining the abscess, packing out the fistula etc. See http://hcd2.bupa.co.uk/fact_sheets/html/anal_fistula_repair.html
Yes I was under a general anesthetic, yes it is bloody sore and yes the "packing" has to be checked by the district nurse daily for the next three weeks.
Time in Operating Theatre 1 hour. Time under anesthetic 45 mins. Throat now very bruised as, they tell me, they had problems getting the tube down my throat and had two attempts, finally resorting to brute force. They have apologised for the bruising.
And what caused this? It seems that one of the heart meds I was put on some 18 months ago is the prime suspect. Nicorandil by name it has recently (so they tell me) been identified as a culprit in a couple of studies. So I also have to go back next week to see the cardio people to have the meds changed again Banghead
BUT I can walk and sit and even sh*t again. ;D
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;D
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happ096
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Hurrah!
"Fistula" ~ isn't that a Windows product?
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Don't do a Google image search noooo:
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You're home....now put your feet up and let me make you a cup of tea cloud9:
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Don't do a Google image search noooo:
point:
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Don't do a Google image search noooo:
Fvckng frightening innit!
Not too pleasant from my side either.
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Don't do a Google image search noooo:
Fvckng frightening innit!
Not too pleasant from my side either.
happy100
Presumably offers to "kiss it better" are few and far between?
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Don't do a Google image search noooo:
Fvckng frightening innit!
Not too pleasant from my side either.
happy100
Presumably offers to "kiss it better" are few and far between?
sick2:
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Don't do a Google image search noooo:
Fvckng frightening innit!
Not too pleasant from my side either.
happy100
Presumably offers to "kiss it better" are few and far between?
Non-existent TBH noooo:
This is when you find your real friends.
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You're a dog ...can't you kiss it yourself whistle:
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You're a dog ...can't you kiss it yourself whistle:
No need ~ the very attractive practice nurse at my local surgery has just inserted a delicate digit and pronounced that the "dressing" is in place and she will repeat the performance same time tomorrow. She is arranging for Nurse Gladys Emanuel to call on Saturday and Sunday and will resume her duties on Monday.
Not everyday I get a pretty girl willing to go on her knees at the side of the couch and slide her finger up me bum ~ Almost a cloud9: moment.
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eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek:
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Floats my boat sweety eyes:
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Emmanuel eyes: cloud9:
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confused2:
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You've not seen the Emmanuel films?
Soft porn on Movies24+ at 2200 most nights
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That's BM glued to the satellite TV each night then. point:
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That's BM glued to the satellite TV each night then. point:
::)
I read the book when I was at school... whistle:
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Would that be the satellite TV guide rubschin:
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Nurse Gladys Emmanuel cloud9:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2009%2F01%2F20%2Farticle-1123762-003F01FA00000258-243_468x698.jpg&hash=dde627ab2da33c6908ada322a12593c05d959ecd)
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cloud9:
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Before my time......... whistle:
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Still very OUCH! surrender:
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happy100 happy100 happy100
Will nursey be there to make you feel better shortly ?
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Dunno what time the District Nurse will get here. Only know she/they were sent a fax yesterday asking them to cover the task on Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Back to Practice Nurse on Tuesday at midday then repeat ad nauseum.
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And then presumably shortly back to the docs to adjust the meds noooo:
Sounds like a completely hideous experience tbh
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Yup! tunble:
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theebillychildish.com%2Fcovers%2Fsmokingdog.jpg&hash=ca52a065770811a14a7664ba6f30c3c665e8ad9f)
happy100 happy100 happy100 happy100 happy100 happy100 happy100 happy100 happy100 happy100 happy100 happy100 happy100 happy100 happy100 happy100 happy100 happy100 happy100 happy100 happy100 happy100 happy100
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District Nurse just rang seeking directions ~ they don't have SatNag apparently.
She will be here sometime this afternoon but has sooooooooooo many calls "up country" (her expression not mine) that she cannot give a time.
rubschin: Soooooooooooooooo Many calls that at ten to ten she is still faffing about in the clinic making 'phone calls whilst patients "up country" lay on their sick beds waiting for her attention and hoping she will get there before the undertaker.
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District Nurse is babetastic eyes:
She is coming back this morning cloud9:
With forceps scared2:
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So you have forgiven her tardiness of yesterday have you? ;D
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She has slender and cool fingers 8)
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Bad dog....down boy noooo: noooo: noooo:
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redface:
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The poor girl... noooo:
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She has been
She says I am a good patient.cloud9:
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scared2: Different nurse due today ~ I doubt whether I shall be lucky enough to get another babetastic one.
Back to the surgery tomorrow to see Practice Nurse and Doctor.
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scared2: Different nurse due today ~ I doubt whether I shall be lucky enough to get another babetastic one.
Back to the surgery tomorrow to see Practice Nurse and Doctor.
happy100
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For those of a strong disposition: Yesterday the Babetastic District Nurse discovered that the cavity beneath the site of the abscess was empty. It should have a "packing" of sterile gauze and antibiotics. She could not say if the hospital had failed to pack the cavity properly or if I have simply "lost" it whilst answering nature's call. Never the less she felt obliged to repack it ~ this time, of course, I did not have the benefit of anaesthetic sad32: sad32: sad32: sad32: sad32: sad32: sad32: sad32: sad32: sad32: sad32: sad32: sad32: sad32:
This morning nature issued another summons. Have you ever tried to sh*t with half your arse wodged with gauze and a sterile dressing? surrender:
Anyone got a simple DIY method of removing teeth marks from the toilet door? sad24:
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Bite the toilet roll next time...bit softer
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Nurse has just been ~ She was a HE! eeek:
Big sod too surrender:
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Back to the Practice Nurse yesterday ~ and all week then District Nurses Sat, Sun and Mon. It is all excitement here.
Much improved, thanks for asking, swelling and bruising from the operation have both subsided considerably enabling me to sit in some lesser degree of pain. Can walk fairly normally too. No more "John Wayne without his horse" impersonations. The resultant cavity seems to me to be hoooooge but the nurses tell me it is actually a small one compared to many they see ~ not sure if this is a good or bad thing. rubschin:
Now have appointment to see the cardiologists next Friday (13th scared2:) to have the heart meds changed and hopefully the stoppage, under their direction, of the guilty drug will result in a faster healing rate ........... or at least that is what I am now being told.
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OMG!!!!!
What a saga!!!
Was there a goodly amount of pus? I love a bit of ozzing pus!
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OMG!!!!!
What a saga!!!
Was there a goodly amount of pus? I love a bit of ozzing pus!
I was spark out with a general anaesthetic but to judge from the size of the abscess pre operation the answer is yes.
The bigger problem is the cavity beneath it.
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Ahhhh I can see how that would be a potential infection site!
My Dad had a boil thing a few years ago. I wanted to go with him when they lanced it to watch but he said no. sad24:
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Off to the surgery for me daily inspection and re-dressing. Must say it is getting more comfortable by the day.
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That didn't take long ~ Such lovely slim and cool fingers too cloud9:
Mind she caught me at my most vulnerable and has booked me in for a swine flu jab ~ It's hard to say NO when you are on the couch with her forefinger up your arse. evil:
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I hope SWWLTBO doesn't have to adopt such tactics when discussing what she wants for Christmas ;)
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I hope SWWLTBO doesn't have to adopt such tactics when discussing what she wants for Christmas ;)
He won't mind, as long as she has trimmed her nails.
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I was thinking of her not him lol:
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I am pleased to report some marked improvement in comfort levels although driving is still difficult.
District Nursing Team are still attending daily to change dressing ~ they tell me that the cavity, which even I cannot manage to view, is getting smaller.
I have an appointment with Cardiologist this afternoon to decide on alternative medication to the culprit (Nicorandil) .....meanwhile GP also want to carry out a review of my meds on Monday or Tuesday for no other reason than he is "supposed to every 6 months".
I'm sure you were all waiting to know that whistle:
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I am pleased to report some marked improvement in comfort levels although driving is still difficult.
District Nursing Team are still attending daily to change dressing ~ they tell me that the cavity, which even I cannot manage to view, is getting smaller.
I have an appointment with Cardiologist this afternoon to decide on alternative medication to the culprit (Nicorandil) .....meanwhile GP also want to carry out a review of my meds on Monday or Tuesday for no other reason than he is "supposed to every 6 months".
I'm sure you were all waiting to know that whistle:
Glad to hear you are fundamentally on the mend. ;)
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Should that be funinthebumentally on the mend whistle:
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Should that be funinthebumentally on the mend whistle:
Snoopys bum fixation will go down in the anals of history.
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drumroll:
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I have been to see the Cardiologist. I had first appointment of the afternoon ~ his clinic started 30 minutes late and he saw two others before me evil:
He said " rubschin: There really isn't an alternative, best thing is to half the dosage and see if the unstable angina comes back ~ if it does resume the current dose"
"And what about the blame being heaped on Nicorandil by the bum specialists for causing the fistula?"
"Well I have been a Cardiologist for 22 years and yours is only the second occurrence that I have seen ~ the bum men did no tests and are relying on a piece of research recently published ~ I wonder what they would have blamed if you hadn't been on Nicorandil?"
"So carry on as normal then Doc?"
"I would say so ~ but the choice is yours"
Very bloody helpful I must say Banghead
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Today's District Nurse is one I haven't seen for a week ~ she was peering up me bum and said "That's looking a lot prettier" redface:
A curious turn of phrase I thought.
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Update: ...............
Healing well now, still uncomfortable and still having to have the cavity "repacked" with aquacel ribbon every day so still seeing lots of nurses. Cavity now about half the size it was originally ~ Nurses are estimated that it will take another 6 weeks or so.
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Does that make it a annus horribilis New Year scared2:
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with one 'n' ........... probably cry:
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Update .... still daily attendance by the District Nursing Service. Latest word is that this may go on into 2010 noooo:
Yesterday's ray of sunshine told me they have a patient with a similar problem that they have been visiting for 11 months eeek:
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Yet another different nurse today ........... They must have an army of them eeek:
This one was blonde, pert and very nice cloud9:
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Yet another different nurse today ........... They must have an army of them eeek:
This one was blonde, pert and emotionally scarred for life...
noooo:
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evil:
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Pert, you say? eyes:
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Indeed ~ Cute would best describe her. cloud9:
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BM would say Babetastic ::)
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BM would say Babetastic ::)
Not if she was stuffing gauze up my arse... noooo:
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She had wonderfully cool and slender fingers. Her name was Kelly cloud9: (but spelt the Welsh way as "Celi")
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Donna the chiropractor is pert cloud9:
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Almost makes being poorly a pleasure don't it? eyes:
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You are sick. There's no doubt about that... noooo:
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Snoopysick: cloud9:
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You are sick. There's no doubt about that... noooo:
So how many pretty girls have you taken to your bedroom this past month? whistle:
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You are sick. There's no doubt about that... noooo:
So how many pretty girls have you taken to your bedroom to stuff gauze and ointment up your arse this past month? whistle:
None.... noooo:
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lol: The defence rests
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You are sick. There's no doubt about that... noooo:
So how many pretty girls have you taken to your bedroom to stuff gauze and ointment up your arse this past month? whistle:
None.... noooo:
Bloody hell, I'd edit that if I were you BM whistle:
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You are sick. There's no doubt about that... noooo:
So how many pretty girls have you taken to your bedroom to stuff gauze and ointment up your arse this past month? whistle:
None.... noooo:
Bloody hell, I'd edit that if I were you BM whistle:
But I haven't had any girls stuffing stuff up my arse... noooo:
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http://s140.photobucket.com/albums/r4/simonhudson42/The%20Chiropractic%20Clinic/?action=view¤t=DSC_00241.jpg (http://s140.photobucket.com/albums/r4/simonhudson42/The%20Chiropractic%20Clinic/?action=view¤t=DSC_00241.jpg)
cloud9:
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Today's District Nurse is one I haven't seen for a week ~ she was peering up me bum and said "That's looking a lot prettier" redface:
A curious turn of phrase I thought.
I get worried when they say something looks angry scared2:
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Yesterday and again today I have the most awful lower back pain ................... Worryingly this is how the problem started last time. scared2:
Donna will be of no use Nick as this is neither muscular nor skeletal.
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Snoopysick:
happy100
How far up are they inserting these fingers ? eeek:
Never mind don't answer that lol:
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I shall take it to the doctor but that will probably mean an end to fingers and the use of a Box Brownie on a wire eeek:
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District Nurse says "Go to the doctor" confused:
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District Nurse in the guise of Senior Scary Sister has been today.
She is also babetastic ~ She says I am healed ..... or at least the bum problem is.
She gave me a hug and said I had been a wonderful patient. cloud9:
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happ096
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District Nurse in the guise of Senior Scary Sister has been today.
She is also babetastic ~ She says I am healed ..... or at least the bum problem is.
She gave me a hug and said I had been a wonderful patient. cloud9:
Time to celebrate. Bottoms-up!
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District Nurse in the guise of Senior Scary Sister has been today.
She is also babetastic ~ She says I am healed ..... or at least the bum problem is.
She gave me a hug and said I had been a wonderful patient. cloud9:
Time to celebrate. Bottoms-up!
The hug was worth all the pain. cloud9: cloud9:
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District Nurse in the guise of Senior Scary Sister has been today.
She is also babetastic ~ She says I am healed ..... or at least the bum problem is.
She gave me a hug and said I had been a wonderful patient. cloud9:
Time to celebrate. Bottoms-up!
The hug was worth all the pain. cloud9: cloud9:
For you maybe.
She must have been overjoyed. noooo:
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District Nurse in the guise of Senior Scary Sister has been today.
She is also babetastic ~ She says I am healed ..... or at least the bum problem is.
She gave me a hug and said I had been a wonderful patient. cloud9:
Time to celebrate. Bottoms-up!
The hug was worth all the pain. cloud9: cloud9:
For you maybe.
She must have been overjoyed. noooo:
Probably ~ I was only wearing a tee shirt at the time...... I wonder if she noticed redface:
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District Nurse in the guise of Senior Scary Sister has been today.
She is also babetastic ~ She says I am healed ..... or at least the bum problem is.
She gave me a hug and said I had been a wonderful patient. cloud9:
Time to celebrate. Bottoms-up!
The hug was worth all the pain. cloud9: cloud9:
For you maybe.
She must have been overjoyed. noooo:
Probably ~ I was only wearing a tee shirt at the time...... I wonder if she noticed redface:
Was your collar up?
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Nearly redface: