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Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on November 11, 2009, 12:46:44 PM

Title: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Nick on November 11, 2009, 12:46:44 PM
I have long felt that my mother in law (who is intensely religious) has the capacity to be quite venomous. Some months ago a family scandal broke and it was decreed that she must know nothing about it: too delicate!

She is not, however, so delicate that she can call me at all hours and give me what for and also, and this is really wrong and bad, call my sister and "drip poison". My sister gave her a good verbal going over eveilgrin:

That was a bridge too far, so I called her and suggested that if she wanted to involve herself in family affairs she might start closer to home  eveilgrin: - like with her nephew in Glasgow. "He is a good Catholic and family man" she yelled.

Really?


http://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/news/1669185/Perv-victims-should-have-seen-loo-cam.html
 (http://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/news/1669185/Perv-victims-should-have-seen-loo-cam.html)
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Barman on November 11, 2009, 12:53:39 PM
 eeek:
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Nick on November 11, 2009, 01:01:06 PM
 Did I do wrong? angel1
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Barman on November 11, 2009, 01:06:57 PM
Oh no... did you tell her about it or send it anon anoni without including your name?
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Nick on November 11, 2009, 01:07:40 PM
Neither. \I suggested she asked Mrs Nick
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: GROWLER on November 11, 2009, 03:05:36 PM
Holy roly shit Nick!! That is truly dreadful....no what YOU did, but what that dirty bastard did. sick2:

Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: barmisspah? on November 11, 2009, 05:14:36 PM
Did I do wrong? angel1

 worthy:
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Pastis on November 11, 2009, 06:12:45 PM
My grandmother was charming on the surface but had the ability to quite vile and spiteful when it suited her. Thus she made my mother's life hell at times (her daughter-in-law). When confronted with the actions of one of her other sons (my uncle, if you managing to follow this  ;) ) she went into complete denial and claimed my mother was delusional. She wasn't; my uncle's actions and behaviour were a matter of record.
Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire; it's self preservation.
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Nick on November 12, 2009, 09:13:54 AM
Mrs Nick had a good go at me about this last night. I pointed out that his wife had stood by him  whistle:
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Snoopy on November 12, 2009, 09:18:05 AM
Good point, well made but I doubt that Mrs Nick gave you any credit for it.
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 12, 2009, 09:49:28 AM
Mrs Nick had a good go at me about this last night. I pointed out that his wife had stood by him  whistle:

Tell her it's inconvenient for you to talk right now...... whistle:

If she wants a sounding board tell her to go and talk to her own family as they have all the answers  whistle:
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Nick on November 12, 2009, 09:51:42 AM
Well you read what he did. He is now unemployed and unemployable. All I did was go nuts and try to jump in front of a train. Quite reasonable in the circs IMHO.
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 12, 2009, 09:56:28 AM
Apart from the fact that you are our pal and Mrs Nick is not, I think the consensus is that you did the right thing.
(Putting MIL straight, not the train I mean redface:)
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 12, 2009, 10:11:55 AM
Well you read what he did. He is now unemployed and unemployable. All I did was go nuts and try to jump in front of a train. Quite reasonable in the circs IMHO.

That bloody bakery again eh  ;)

Seriously though - you may find the concept of reasonableness a bit difficult to discuss with them right now  noooo:
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on November 12, 2009, 04:30:56 PM
For what it's worth I have no problem with what you did.  The MIL rather than the whole train thing.  There sometimes comes a time when retaliation is the only sensible option, for many reasons, your own sanity being one of them. eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 12, 2009, 04:32:33 PM
For what it's worth I have no problem with what you did.  The MIL rather than the whole train thing.  There sometimes comes a time when retaliation is the only sensible option, for many reasons, your own sanity being one of them. eveilgrin:

So what should he do next as the sanity appears to be untouched?
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Barman on November 12, 2009, 04:33:47 PM
As a matter of interest; were you clutching a cake when you jumped in front of the train...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Nick on November 12, 2009, 04:39:49 PM
No.
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 12, 2009, 04:42:57 PM
A baguette?
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Nick on November 12, 2009, 04:44:14 PM
I may have left that in the helicopter redface:
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 12, 2009, 04:44:44 PM
 lol: lol:
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Nick on November 12, 2009, 04:47:43 PM
I should add that the person who called the police was asked to describe me. He said I looked like Captain Birdseye. This apparently proved sufficent for them to identify me. redface:
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on November 12, 2009, 04:49:44 PM
For what it's worth I have no problem with what you did.  The MIL rather than the whole train thing.  There sometimes comes a time when retaliation is the only sensible option, for many reasons, your own sanity being one of them. eveilgrin:

So what should he do next as the sanity appears to be untouched?

I refer the honourable gentleman here.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/archive/ww2outbreak/7907.shtml?all=2&id=7907

Just because you have a piece of paper does not make a thing fact.
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Barman on November 12, 2009, 04:50:03 PM
I should add that the person who called the police was asked to describe me. He said I looked like Captain Birdseye. This apparently proved sufficent for them to identify me. redface:
point:
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Nick on November 12, 2009, 04:54:51 PM
 evil:
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 12, 2009, 04:56:55 PM
I should add that the person who called the police was asked to describe me. He said I looked like Captain Birdseye. This apparently proved sufficent for them to identify me. redface:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2008%2F07%2F19%2Farticle-1036589-0202C86A00000578-481_468x300.jpg&hash=d6f84e9911d048b565a3c9db54542da718e4f0d8)

Must have been the parrot that gave it away  whistle:
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Nick on November 12, 2009, 05:00:00 PM
I have had nothing to do with parrots since that incident 10 years ago
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Pastis on November 12, 2009, 05:30:44 PM
In your own time ...

 Popcorn:
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Nick on November 12, 2009, 05:49:51 PM
Fooking thing nearly fooking circumcised me  evil:
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Barman on November 12, 2009, 06:47:06 PM
 Popcorn:
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 12, 2009, 09:25:06 PM
Popcorn:
Popcorn: Popcorn:
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Pastis on November 12, 2009, 09:47:12 PM
The incident occurred (I'm sure Nick won't mind me relating it to save him the trouble) when Mr & Mrs Nick were in their younger years and had decided to go for a drink at a local hostelry. The landlord happened to be in possession of a grey parrot and by all accounts it was habitually free from its cage. Nick described it as a particularly fooking vicious parrot, specially in the beak department.
Apparently the parrot decided to perch on Nick who was sporting a fine suit at the time and, either being an animal lover or scared to retaliate, he let it roam upon his person. The parrot started his adventure by nipping off the buttons of his suit jacket one by one and, having none left started to explore the trouser area...

One can only imagine what happened next as the parrot found a feast of smaller buttons to get its beak around  eeek:
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 12, 2009, 09:51:58 PM
Money grabbing birds in pubs eh  whistle:
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Pastis on November 12, 2009, 09:59:59 PM
In this instance I reckon "A bird in the hand is probably worth strangling!"
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Barman on November 13, 2009, 05:27:50 AM
Money grabbing birds in pubs eh  whistle:
Or even money grabbing bird in pubes!  eeek:
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Nick on November 13, 2009, 08:35:11 AM
If someone hadn't offered it some chips I'd be Jewish by now
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Barman on November 13, 2009, 08:38:56 AM
If someone hadn't offered it some chips I'd be Jewish by now
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Nick on November 13, 2009, 08:40:35 AM
It's not funny evil:
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Barman on November 13, 2009, 08:43:13 AM
It's not funny evil:
No... I can see how serious it all is....  redface:














 happy001
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Nick on November 13, 2009, 08:47:55 AM
You try safely removing a parrot from your underpants
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Snoopy on November 13, 2009, 08:49:31 AM
Should have offered it a cracker!
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Barman on November 13, 2009, 09:07:15 AM
With hindsight, letting it into your underpants wasn't the wisest thing you've ever done...  noooo:
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Nick on November 13, 2009, 09:08:36 AM
I didn't "let it in", it broke in
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Barman on November 13, 2009, 09:09:27 AM
I didn't "let it in", it broke in
Of course... the parrot circumvented all your security measures...  point:
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Nick on November 13, 2009, 09:12:41 AM
Anyway, my MiL is, it seems, fretting about her ex-favourite nephew and is planning to give him a piece of her mind
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Snoopy on November 13, 2009, 09:14:42 AM
Clearly the parrot experience has left you traumatised ~ too late to sue anyone I suppose?

Although to judge from this piece of profiteering anything is possible

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/8357870.stm

Do listen to the mother on the Video ~ says it all really.
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Snoopy on November 13, 2009, 09:15:07 AM
Anyway, my MiL is, it seems, fretting about her ex-favourite nephew and is planning to give him a piece of her mind

Can she spare it?
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Barman on November 13, 2009, 09:22:12 AM
Anyway, my MiL is, it seems, fretting about her ex-favourite nephew and is planning to give him a piece of her mind
Can she spare it...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Snoopy on November 13, 2009, 09:28:57 AM
Anyway, my MiL is, it seems, fretting about her ex-favourite nephew and is planning to give him a piece of her mind
Can she spare it...?  rubschin:

Do try and keep up Jonesy
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.battlefield-site.co.uk%2Flance_corporal_jones.gif&hash=cc5ba82026b44aee041777c8603f6d7e67a76e9f)
Title: Re: Revenge on my mother in law: a confession
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on November 13, 2009, 04:27:03 PM
Clearly the parrot experience has left you traumatised ~ too late to sue anyone I suppose?

Although to judge from this piece of profiteering anything is possible

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/8357870.stm

Do listen to the mother on the Video ~ says it all really.


sick2: