The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on November 17, 2009, 12:29:27 PM
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I have some new shoes. Splendid new shoes. Trouble is they feel, after some wear, like they are made of wood or iron or similar evil:
My feet are red raw. Miss C suggests stuffing them with wet newspaper (but she is clearly nuts). I had thought of boiling or microwaving them. Any other suggestions to render them wearable?
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I thought this was going to be about white stilettos eyes:
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I suggest you clearly mark them 'L' and 'R' to avoid such problems in the future... whistle:
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Angry9:
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I thought this was going to be about white stilettos eyes:
Hubba, hubba.... Drool:
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I assume you bought your usual size ~ which is often a mistake.
A good shoe shop (and there are still a few of those around) will be able to help by easing them but wet paper can help.
Try leaving them off for a week and then wearing them for an hour a day, lengthening the wear time every couple of days until they are comfortable or your feet adapt. At least that is the advice from SWWLTBO who used to manage Barretts Oxford Street Branch.
I personally always subscribe to the Duchess of Devonshire's advice to spend as much as one can afford on buying a good bed and good shoes ~ because if you are not in one you are in the other. I don't buy shoes very often, preferring to spend the price of an ordinary pair on having the expensive ones I bought more than 20 years ago properly repaired when necessary.
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I assume you bought your usual size ~ which is often a mistake.
A good shoe shop (and there are still a few of those around) will be able to help by easing them but wet paper can help.
Try leaving them off for a week and then wearing them for an hour a day, lengthening the wear time every couple of days until they are comfortable or your feet adapt. At least that is the advice from SWWLTBO who used to manage Barretts Oxford Street Branch.
I personally always subscribe to the Duchess of Devonshire's advice to spend as much as one can afford on buying a good bed and good shoes ~ because if you are not in one you are in the other. I don't buy shoes very often, preferring to spend the price of an ordinary pair on having the expensive ones I bought more than 20 years ago properly repaired when necessary.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs1.postimage.org%2F1iW3ui.jpg&hash=ff9836ed310b2d7174ddb47690670730e92c04fb) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=gx1iW3ui)
rubschin:
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Rub vaseline in them whistle:
I love new shoes cloud9:
When I last met up with Pastis and BM for lunch can't remember how we got round to it but I was asked to count how many pairs I had.
I really don't think I can justify buying any more for a while redface: redface: redface:
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Vaseline? rubschin:
Inside or out or both?
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Outside ...I presume they are leather shoes whistle:
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Yes
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My feet are red raw. Miss C suggests stuffing them with wet newspaper (but she is clearly nuts). I had thought of boiling or microwaving them. Any other suggestions to render them wearable?
Your feet? eeek:
Actually that may be an idea. rubschin:
You could try it on yer 'ed too. The boiling that is, not your shoes. happy088
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whEN YOU COME AND SEE ME YOU BASTARD, i WILL DONG YOU FOR THAT. cOME ON!
Oh, fooking caps \lock
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Wellies are never a problem. cloud9:
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whEN YOU COME AND SEE ME YOU BASTARD, i WILL DONG YOU FOR THAT. cOME ON!
Oh, fooking caps \lock
point:
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I assume you bought your usual size ~ which is often a mistake.
A good shoe shop (and there are still a few of those around) will be able to help by easing them but wet paper can help.
Try leaving them off for a week and then wearing them for an hour a day, lengthening the wear time every couple of days until they are comfortable or your feet adapt. At least that is the advice from SWWLTBO who used to manage Barretts Oxford Street Branch.
I personally always subscribe to the Duchess of Devonshire's advice to spend as much as one can afford on buying a good bed and good shoes ~ because if you are not in one you are in the other. I don't buy shoes very often, preferring to spend the price of an ordinary pair on having the expensive ones I bought more than 20 years ago properly repaired when necessary.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs1.postimage.org%2F1iW3ui.jpg&hash=ff9836ed310b2d7174ddb47690670730e92c04fb) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=gx1iW3ui)
rubschin:
More http://www.johnlobbltd.co.uk/main/main.htm whistle:
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I assume you bought your usual size ~ which is often a mistake.
A good shoe shop (and there are still a few of those around) will be able to help by easing them but wet paper can help.
Try leaving them off for a week and then wearing them for an hour a day, lengthening the wear time every couple of days until they are comfortable or your feet adapt. At least that is the advice from SWWLTBO who used to manage Barretts Oxford Street Branch.
I personally always subscribe to the Duchess of Devonshire's advice to spend as much as one can afford on buying a good bed and good shoes ~ because if you are not in one you are in the other. I don't buy shoes very often, preferring to spend the price of an ordinary pair on having the expensive ones I bought more than 20 years ago properly repaired when necessary.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs1.postimage.org%2F1iW3ui.jpg&hash=ff9836ed310b2d7174ddb47690670730e92c04fb) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=gx1iW3ui)
rubschin:
More http://www.johnlobbltd.co.uk/main/main.htm whistle:
I'm not surprised that you have a lobb on.... whistle:
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Just because shoes do that to you lol:
Here have one on the house (or at least on the keyboard)
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpleaserusa.com%2Fpic%2Fdesire-115.jpg&hash=5b6671b4302c3b729a9fbe21286cf703c13a0466)
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hELP! evil: evil: evil: evil: evil: evil:
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Just because shoes do that to you lol:
Here have one on the house (or at least on the keyboard)
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpleaserusa.com%2Fpic%2Fdesire-115.jpg&hash=5b6671b4302c3b729a9fbe21286cf703c13a0466)
Hubba, hubba! eyes:
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hELP! evil: evil: evil: evil: evil: evil:
It's the key on the left hand side marked Caps Lock happy100
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hELP! evil: evil: evil: evil: evil: evil:
It's the key on the left hand side marked Caps Lock happy100
::)
It is the side that matches your shoe with the big 'L' on it... ;)
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hELP! evil: evil: evil: evil: evil: evil:
It's the key on the left hand side marked Caps Lock happy100
::)
It is the side that matches your shoe with the big 'L' on it... ;)
He won't know which that is as he is obviously typing with his toes.
Idea: Tattoo L and R on his feet so he just has to put on the corresponding shoes.
I suppose socks with embroidered L and R will be required as well.
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hELP! evil: evil: evil: evil: evil: evil:
It's the key on the left hand side marked Caps Lock happy100
::)
It is the side that matches your shoe with the big 'L' on it... ;)
He won't know which that is as he is obviously typing with his toes.
Idea: Tattoo L and R on his feet so he just has to put on the corresponding shoes.
I suppose socks with embroidered L and R will be required as well.
That is his Xmas pressies sorted then! happy088
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Useless fooking VP. I resign unless I get more than Vaseline or wet newspaper Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
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Useless fooking VP. I resign unless I get more than Vaseline or wet newspaper Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
You are SO demanding. noooo:
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Get someone else to wear them in for you razz:
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I have given you the opinion of a "Shoe Professional" what more do you want?
My father also worked for Barretts ~ whenever anyone came in complaining that their new shoes pinched/hurt their feet he would say "leave them with me overnight, I'll 'ease' them for you". His method was to insert the handle of a broom into the toe of the shoe and pull on the back of the shoe with all his might, he would then sprinkle talc into the shoe. Each shoe would get this treatment. The next day he would fuss over the customer when they came to collect their footwear. "I'm sure that'll be more comfortable" he would oil as he slid the shoes onto their feet and they ALWAYS agreed. Whether it was his salesmanship, the broom handle or the talc I never knew. The Old Man always claimed it was "All in their minds me boy ;)". I suspect the overnight rest of their aching feet helped.
Get someone else to wear them in for you razz:
I thought of that but then remembered the size of his feet noooo: We are not talking twinkle toes here.
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Get someone else to wear them in for you razz:
Aye. Get Growler to squeeze them on his paws! Simples.
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Useless fooking VP. I resign unless I get more than Vaseline or wet newspaper Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
rubschin: Strange ~ Vaseline and wet newspaper usually does it for me Spank2:
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Just wear flip flops then and go for the beachcomber look.
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[sensible]Actually, I've a couple of pairs of Loake; one pair continues to be quite hard on the ankle and the only thing that alleviates it is doubling up in the sock department 8).[/sensible]
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See even more reason to buy you those stripey socks for Christmas whistle:
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lol: lol:
It's not me buying them ;)
Although rubschin:
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[sensible]Actually, I've a couple of pairs of Loake; one pair continues to be quite hard on the ankle and the only thing that alleviates it is doubling up in the sock department 8).[/sensible]
noooo:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmemyselfandhi.files.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F05%2Fsockssandals.gif&hash=71574609eaa426592cc2e86fe42e659986f66ef6)
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evil:
Nooooo! noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo:
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No one here takes my foot agony seriously sad24:
It seems that Snoopy's sore bottom is more important sad24:
sad24: sad24: sad24: sad24: sad24: sad24: sad24:
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No one here takes my foot agony seriously sad24:
It seems that Snoopy's sore bottom is more important sad24:
sad24: sad24: sad24: sad24: sad24: sad24: sad24:
It's bigger and there is only the one
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eeek: Does my bum look big in that thread???
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whEN YOU COME AND SEE ME YOU BASTARD, i WILL DONG YOU FOR THAT. cOME ON!
Oh, fooking caps \lock
And WHAT exactly are you going to do then ey, you miserable ungrateful old toad. scared2: ::)
I shall see you tomorrow, bucket of boiling water in hand. eveilgrin:
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I have bought some stuff called Shoe Stretch. Spray it in the shoes, put them on and hey presto, they become comfy cloud9:
Do they hell! evil:
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Have you read the small print you prolly have to put them in the microwave after spraying them. whistle:
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The small print is too small to read evil:
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Trust me, it says microwave for five minutes on high.....
scared:
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They are too big to fit in the microwave redface:
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What about the oven ???
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rubschin:
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Your feet are still bruised ~ the only way now is to NOT wear the shoes for at least a week and then try them again. Give your feet a chance to recover from the soreness caused by the new shoes.
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I have to wear them for the next 2 days sad24:
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I have to wear them for the next 2 days sad24:
Buy another pair that fit you tight sod! ::)
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Or wear your old ones. Nobody will care what's on your feet anyway.
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evil:
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You could try 'foot binding'
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3.postimage.org%2F142e70.jpg&hash=e54e3fe81fad0bffbf1d02821ce2bbe35649a53d) (http://www.postimage.org/)
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eeek:
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You should see some of the other pictures. noooo:
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Mars Oil
Stinks to high heaven though.
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He'll never notice whistle:
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What the fook is Mars Oil?
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Shrugs: Oil extracted from deep fried Mars bars?
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Snake oil...? whistle:
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Take one snake. Pop it in the microwave.....?
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Take one snake. Pop it in the microwave.....?
No, you have to squeeze it to get the oil out.... ::)
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Take one snake out of the microwave and pop it in the mangle whistle:
No, it has to be fresh and writhing (and venomous) when you squeeze the oil out... ::)
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Take one snake out of the microwave and pop it in the mangle whistle:
Mars Oil is a dressing oil for leather ~ it is much favoured by the huntin' 'n' shootin' fraternity for use on saddles, tack and boots.
Too quick BM ~ sorry I wanted to add something, ended up posting it twice and then removed both posts, hereby reinstated is one.
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So where do you buy this stuff? And what the fook is it made out of. I do not have a mangle sad24: Would a blender do?
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Any GOOD sporting goods shop. Try Foxons of St Asaph.
See also EBay.
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He greeted me this avvy ny belting me on the arm with one of his damned shoes. ::)
I can confirm that the instructions on this pack of shite he's been stiched up with bought, is indeed too small to read without the aid of an electronic microscope. ::)
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Try the old army trick of pissing into your shoes at night. Or go to www.shoelace.co.uk and buy a shoe stretcher. With special bunion attachments !
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My feet really hurt sad24:
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I really would sling them in the bin and start again.
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sad24:
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No shoes can be worth this much pain and anguish. noooo:
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My feet really hurt sad24:
Stay off them then whistle:
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On advice I filled my shoes with hot soapy water and left them overnight. They are now more supple but no longer match. They have turned different colours noooo:
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On advice I filled my shoes with hot soapy water and left them overnight. They are now more supple but no longer match. They have turned different colours noooo:
Look tit 'ed. Do you want me to come 'round and paint the bastards for you? ::)
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sad24:
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sad24:
WHAT NOW?!
FFS. ::)
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On advice I filled my shoes with hot soapy water and left them overnight. They are now more supple but no longer match. They have turned different colours noooo:
point:
So you ignored the advice of our resident shoe expert dog then...? noooo:
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fshoeking.com%2FFI42054.JPEG&hash=55b9383241efb904f1a0cd74dea38db2f406c533)
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On advice I filled my shoes with hot soapy water and left them overnight. They are now more supple but no longer match. They have turned different colours noooo:
Who suggested that then?
Why not take the advice of someone who has actually some experience of selling shoes and thus knows something of their construction?
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I have bought some new shoes. I can actually walk in them without grunting cloud9:
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happ096
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Nice, big, clear "L" & "R" on this pair?
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Nice, big, clear "L" & "R" on this pair?
No, he sent me a PM about it... noooo:
he has a piece of string which goes up one trouser leg and down the other to connect them and avoid confusion...
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Nice, big, clear "L" & "R" on this pair?
No, he sent me a PM about it... noooo:
he has a piece of string which goes up one trouser leg and down the other to connect them and avoid confusion...
Won't work.
He will still hurt his feet by putting them on wrong and now hurt his knees as well when he falls over.
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My poor feet are so sore and swollen I had to buy a size larger. sad24: These are size 12s eeek:
I look like Coco the Clown cry:
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Nice, big, clear "L" & "R" on this pair?
No, he sent me a PM about it... noooo:
he has a piece of string which goes up one trouser leg and down the other to connect them and avoid confusion...
Won't work.
He will still hurt his feet by putting them on wrong and now hurt his knees as well when he falls over.
lol: lol: lol:
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My poor feet are so sore and swollen I had to buy a size larger. sad24: These are size 12s eeek:
I look like Coco the Clown cry:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F_7IrhEp1an6g%2FSujbYlThe3I%2FAAAAAAAAAS8%2Fpzi49-RR4wA%2Fs400%2Fscary-clown.jpg&hash=bc26e89856d223d6af6f05f9d452265b0ec66908)
(Miss D will like this one) whistle:
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I don't like you evil:
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point: eveilgrin:
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It was an accident like.... redface:
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.worldofstock.com%2Fslides%2FPAB2165.jpg&hash=7fed4ffeddb61e7f2184d850c8bf469724a6165f)
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.worldofstock.com%2Fslides%2FPAB2165.jpg&hash=7fed4ffeddb61e7f2184d850c8bf469724a6165f)
Another accident...? scared2:
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I look like Coco the Clown cry:
Friggin' act like him too. ::)
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I look like Coco the Clown cry:
Friggin' act like him too. ::)
I bet all the doors fall off his ca- Oh.... redface:
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My poor feet are so sore and swollen I had to buy a size larger. sad24: These are size 12s eeek:
I look like Coco the Clown cry:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F_7IrhEp1an6g%2FSujbYlThe3I%2FAAAAAAAAAS8%2Fpzi49-RR4wA%2Fs400%2Fscary-clown.jpg&hash=bc26e89856d223d6af6f05f9d452265b0ec66908)
(Miss D will like this one) whistle:
I don't usually have a problem with clowns but that is horrible. scared2:
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My poor feet are so sore and swollen I had to buy a size larger. sad24: These are size 12s eeek:
I look like Coco the Clown cry:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F_7IrhEp1an6g%2FSujbYlThe3I%2FAAAAAAAAAS8%2Fpzi49-RR4wA%2Fs400%2Fscary-clown.jpg&hash=bc26e89856d223d6af6f05f9d452265b0ec66908)
(Miss D will like this one) whistle:
I don't usually have a problem with clowns but that is horrible. scared2:
And Miss D will appreciate your repeating it... ::)
Opps, I've done it again... whistle:
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I am not amused evil: evil: evil: evil: evil:
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My poor feet are so sore and swollen I had to buy a size larger. sad24: These are size 12s eeek:
I look like Coco the Clown cry:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F_7IrhEp1an6g%2FSujbYlThe3I%2FAAAAAAAAAS8%2Fpzi49-RR4wA%2Fs400%2Fscary-clown.jpg&hash=bc26e89856d223d6af6f05f9d452265b0ec66908)
(Miss D will like this one) whistle:
I don't usually have a problem with clowns but that is horrible. scared2:
And Miss D will appreciate your repeating it... ::)
Opps, I've done it again... whistle:
Don't you have the power to change our avatarts BM? rubschin: lol:
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Please don't encourage him we will all end up as sodding clowns.
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Don't you have the power to change our avatarts BM? rubschin: lol:
And you thought that zoo bear got treated badly - you ain't seen nuffink yet evil:
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scared2:
I do have the power to change avatarts... I'm not stupid enough to do so.... noooo:
Never again.... redface:
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scared2:
I do have the power to change avatarts... I'm not stupid enough to do so.... noooo:
Never again.... redface:
Man or mouse? I thought you sort of fell into the first catergory like? rubschin:
Pass me the keys and I'LL DO IT! eveilgrin:
Look. Nearly every bleedin' person on this earth absolutely hates me at the moment, so may as well go for the full 100% I reckon.
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What has this got to do with shoes?
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scared2:
I do have the power to change avatarts... I'm not stupid enough to do so.... noooo:
Never again.... redface:
Man or mouse? I thought you sort of fell into the first catergory like? rubschin:
Pass me the keys and I'LL DO IT! eveilgrin:
Look. Nearly every bleedin' person on this earth absolutely hates me at the moment, so may as well go for the full 100% I reckon.
Nooooooooo... it caused great distress the last time I did it... noooo:
And I can't imagine that changing Miss D's avatart to a clown would cause me any less distress.... scared2:
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You betcha bottom dollar bozo - I will destroy you evil:
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whistle:
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What has this got to do with shoes?
Absolutely diddly squat. lol:
It's called PAYBACK. cloud9:
Stuff yer boots. ::)
Oh, you've already tried that 'aven't you. lol:
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whistle:
Yes...? rubschin:
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You betcha bottom dollar bozo - I will destroy you evil:
eeek:
Bozo ~ I like that lol:
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You betcha bottom dollar bozo - I will destroy you evil:
Who, me? cloud9:
Mwwwwah!
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You betcha bottom dollar bozo - I will destroy you evil:
I know... surrender:
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I changed my avatart like whistle:
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Blank ~ very apt.
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Not in Inverness rubschin:
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Blank ~ very apt.
Just like his head! point:
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We cannot see you Nick....must be snow blindness rubschin: