The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: The Moan Ranger on December 12, 2009, 06:57:10 PM
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...Details to follow.
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When to follow, and when the riot like?
Can I come please? I need to blow me stack off at something at the mo.
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Should we be checking the local news ?
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Should we be checking the local news ?
Nowt brewing locally. Bit of a rucous (sp) in Copenhagen apparentley regarding some tree huggers rally, but apart from that, just Bliar sounding off about his defence of going to war in Iraq, friggin' arse wipe. sick2:
Come on Moany, what gives matey? Your mates tit of neighbour having difficulty with his ale consumption again? ::)
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Pub ran dry I 'spect
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Pub ran dry I 'spect
Now that would indeed be seriously bad news. eeek:
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Hard put to imagine anything else that would get Moany rioting.
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We want-a-riot, we want-a-riot! cussing:
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Our Leader answers with a gesture
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimage.guardian.co.uk%2Fsys-images%2FGuardian%2FPix%2Farts%2F2007%2F05%2F15%2Fbrownbig.jpg&hash=ac10f2e87dafec76a9afd3411e28ec8718ed3965)
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Don't worry the appropriate forces have been called in to deal with the anarchists
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flh4.ggpht.com%2Ffisherwy%2FR4pKQGe9xhI%2FAAAAAAAAMxk%2FOSlcPd33rjA%2FRioting%2BPolish%2BPolice%2527s%2BMickey%2BMouse%2BUniform%2Bpicture%255B4%255D&hash=d07727a877e948e1a8c4d49cca168ac56a289187)
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Popcorn:
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Are you sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin...
In the pub there is a legend called Snakey, so called because he only drinks Snakebite and is the only person allowed to do so. Friday night - as usual - he was hammered and doing his falling asleep whilst standing at the bar trick. He does it regularly. At chucking out time, the bar staff usually gently wake him and he toddles off home. It's happened dozens of time.
There is an temporary assistant manager in pub who is South African and possibly the most arrogant, rude and downright fuckwitted person I have ever met. Nobody, including all the staff, like him. On Friday night, he decided to show his rank and power by getting Snakey out - not with the usual little nudge and a few kind words, though, no he shook him, shouted at him and then snatched the remains of his pint away.
Snakey is 5 foot 4 and as tough as they come. He is also generally more placid than a Panda on mogadon. But this treatment irked him and he flew into a rage and would have torn him to shreds had a couple of the regulars not jumped in to hold him back (not easy, he's strong as an ox) and the Saffa ran behind the bar and got one of his barmen to go out and try and throw Snakey out. The barman in question is a lovely big Latvian bloke and he held Snakey whilst the Saffa LOCKED himself behind the bar and called the police. Eventually evenn the big Latvian couldn't hold him and so another of the barmen went out and helped and then managed to walk Snakey home before the rozzers arrived. Snakey is barred.
Not only barred, but the staff have been told that if he sets foot inside the premises they must phone the police immediately.
Everyone who came in the pub yesterday who didn't know was asking "Where's Snakey?" When told he had been barred, their reaction was the same to a man "You can't bar Snakey, he's a legend". One of the roofers asked the Saffa about the incident and immediately the Saffa starting talking down to him saying things like "You are questioning my authority" and "You stick to roofing and let me run a pub". I thought the roofer was going to go over the bar and kill him. It's not just what he says, it's the way he says it. He simply should not be dealing with public.
I said to him as much and he said he "couldn't care less what the regulars think"...
Anyhoo...passions were obviously running high and we had arranged a pre-Christmas drink for loads who can't always get down regularly. We paid ?28 for a few plates of sandwiches and stuff. At 9 o'clock, the sandwiches arrived. 1 plate. About 20 quarters of sandwich. For ?28. We remonstrated with the Saffa who totally ignored us. "If you don't like it, go to the Wetherspoon".
At about 11, there was a little incident in the Saloon bar involving the boyfriend of Sam, one of the barmaids. Our Saffa went out and - in his own inimitable style - dealt with the situation. And go head-butted for it lol: He ran behind the bar and called the police again. Four people went round to the head-butter and offered to buy him a drink lol:
Mrs TMRBB told him it is time for him to move on - he has an awful lot of people who are after him.
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Well that's Sarf Africans for you noooo:
I shall buy you some Young's in the now spiritual home: Wandsworth
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I suggest you all decamp to another pub until he is gone. Nothing will shift him quicker than a drop in takings. Meanwhile an email to the Area Manager would not go amiss. Good, honest boozers are hard to find and the breweries can ill afford to lose those they still retain.
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I suggest you all decamp to another pub until he is gone. Nothing will shift him quicker than a drop in takings. Meanwhile an email to the Area Manager would not go amiss. Good, honest boozers are hard to find and the breweries can ill afford to lose those they still retain.
I think the Area Manager has probably had enough e-mails from me over the past couple of months ;D
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Has he been decamped because of Vouchergate ? eeek:
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Has he been decamped because of Vouchergate ? eeek:
I know nothing of what you say whistle:
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The Saffa is a complete arse.
It's a wonder his other half hasn't killed him after it became common knowledge that he had shagged one of the (previously mentioned) barmaids.
I can't understand how he has lived so long.
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Surely a few of you could discuss it with him ......................... in the car-park like. whistle:
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I think it will be a very brief discussion, something along the lines of "have that".
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Surely a few of you could discuss it with him ......................... in the car-park like. whistle:
I don't think he is ever going to set foot outside the pub again, he's petrified.
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I think it will be a very brief discussion, something along the lines of "have that".
It was something of the sort that I had in mind
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Basically the pub is a good place to drink (although pricey). The Dark Side is self-policing - you step out of line and you will be advised accordingly, pretty smartish.
Yes they can be loud and probably get away with murder really, and generally they respect the staff even if the piss-taking can sometimes be a bit severe, but that applies to both side of the counter.
We don't need an idiot running the place - he is just plain useless.
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Basically the pub is a good place to drink (although pricey). The Dark Side is self-policing - you step out of line and you will be advised accordingly, pretty smartish.
Yes they can be loud and probably get away with murder really, and generally they respect the staff even if the piss-taking can sometimes be a bit severe, but that applies to both side of the counter.
We don't need an idiot running the place - he is just plain useless.
I hope he's on duty this afternoon, I shall ask him about his customer-handling techniques angel1
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Get this put on the Juke Box whistle:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSLMKUXZ3hk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSLMKUXZ3hk)
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We often play this -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkqfa-kaRFM
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Joy of joys! I thought i was going to be roped into some shitmas shopping this afternoon, but Mrs TMRBB has just gone off with the daughter saying I am not required ;D
What shall I do... cloud9:
Bearing in mind I won a share of the horse racing pot yesterday (?75) and I have to pick the money up from the pub cloud9:
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Stay in and do some housewerk angel1
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Stay in and do some housewerk angel1
Did it all on Friday angel1
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Watch the rugby - I'm just about to.
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Bingo! ?75 on the horses and ?5.70 on the juke box!