The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Barman on March 14, 2010, 01:15:18 PM

Title: Locusts
Post by: Barman on March 14, 2010, 01:15:18 PM
Have you any idea how difficult it is to squidge a locust...?  eeek:

The bloody cats keep bring the thing in, stamping on them with a size 8 just makes them irate!  noooo:
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Nick on March 14, 2010, 01:16:26 PM
You stamp on yer cats?  eeek:
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Snoopy on March 14, 2010, 01:19:03 PM
What small feet you have ...................... still you know what they say ..... Small Feet = Small P***.

I have size ten feet and I reckon that Nick is bigger  whistle:
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 14, 2010, 01:38:35 PM
What small feet you have ...................... still you know what they say ..... Small Feet = Small P***.

I have size ten feet and I reckon that Nick is bigger  whistle:

I take size 12.  eyes:


Unfortunately, I also limp and use a stick.  noooo:
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Nick on March 14, 2010, 01:39:00 PM
My feet are mahoosive  whistle:
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Nick on March 14, 2010, 01:40:00 PM
What small feet you have ...................... still you know what they say ..... Small Feet = Small P***.

I have size ten feet and I reckon that Nick is bigger  whistle:

I take size 12.  eyes:


Unfortunately, I also limp and use a stick.  noooo:
shutup:
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Barman on March 14, 2010, 01:43:31 PM
This is about bloody locusts, not feet, not the size of my dick nor Darwin's limpness....  noooo:
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Nick on March 14, 2010, 01:56:30 PM
BM seems a bit touchy about such a small thing  rubschin:
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Snoopy on March 14, 2010, 02:00:23 PM
 happy001 bet he's a seven and a half really ..... narrow fit.
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 14, 2010, 02:02:58 PM
happy001 bet he's a seven and a half really ..... narrow fit.

Slip-on, with a soft sole.  whistle:
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Barman on March 14, 2010, 02:18:17 PM
 evil:
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 14, 2010, 02:48:10 PM
You need to go here BM. whistle:

Locust Shoes Online
www.Barratts.co.uk/Locust Shoes      Largest Online Collection of Lotus New Season Arrivals! - Buy Now
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Barman on March 14, 2010, 03:05:00 PM
doh:
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 14, 2010, 09:09:52 PM
BM seems a bit touchy about such a small thing  rubschin:

Only when he can find the magnifying glass.  whistle:
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Barman on March 14, 2010, 09:11:07 PM
 noooo:
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: GROWLER on March 15, 2010, 08:46:39 AM
My feet are mahoosive  whistle:

Bit like yer 'ed.....and wallet. ::)
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Barman on March 15, 2010, 09:17:21 AM
My feet are mahoosive  whistle:

Bit like yer 'ed.....and wallet. ::)

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: GROWLER on March 15, 2010, 09:28:00 AM
Any'ow. rubschin:

Locusts in Cyprus? Swarms of? confused:

Grasshoppers don't you mean?
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Barman on March 15, 2010, 09:29:19 AM
Any'ow. rubschin:

Locusts in Cyprus? Swarms of? confused:

Grasshoppers don't you mean?

No, these are big fuck-off locusts... I'll try and take a picture before I squidge the next one...
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: The Moan Ranger on March 15, 2010, 09:56:54 AM
Any'ow. rubschin:

Locusts in Cyprus? Swarms of? confused:

Grasshoppers don't you mean?

No, these are big fuck-off locusts... I'll try and take a picture before I squidge the next one...

You can borrow my Locustpoon ?
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Barman on March 15, 2010, 10:43:06 AM
Any'ow. rubschin:

Locusts in Cyprus? Swarms of? confused:

Grasshoppers don't you mean?

No, these are big fuck-off locusts... I'll try and take a picture before I squidge the next one...

You can borrow my Locustpoon ?

Oh shame, I've already invested in Thwack-a-LocTM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.screwfix.com%2Fsfd%2Fi%2Fcat%2F56%2Fp44756_l.jpg&hash=02b77dbb0688127689030342ef2cdaf6b7ee07ca)
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 15, 2010, 11:57:13 AM
What happened to that automatic laser bug-zapping thingy? (Can't be bothered to Affs for the thread).

That would be quite fun I should have thought.
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Barman on March 15, 2010, 12:00:30 PM
What happened to that automatic laser bug-zapping thingy? (Can't be bothered to Affs for the thread).

That would be quite fun I should have thought.

It makes the most disgusterous sound and smell when big bugs get into it....  sick2:

Fortunately, the cats keep locusts occupied until I thwack em...  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 15, 2010, 12:06:38 PM
It makes the most disgusterous sound and smell when big bugs get into it....  sick2:

Did you buy one then?  worthy:

How much was it? (You may answer in London bus fares or rugs)

Did you also like me inventing the verb 'to Aff' meaning search for old threads?
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 15, 2010, 12:08:36 PM
Do you need stroking today DS ? - you don't normally seek our approval  rubschin:

Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Barman on March 15, 2010, 12:12:51 PM
It makes the most disgusterous sound and smell when big bugs get into it....  sick2:

Did you buy one then?  worthy:

How much was it? (You may answer in London bus fares or rugs)

Did you also like me inventing the verb 'to Aff' meaning search for old threads?

No.

N/A

Yes.
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Snoopy on March 15, 2010, 12:13:58 PM
To Aff = the act of Affing. Past = Affed
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 15, 2010, 01:06:39 PM
Do you need stroking today DS ? - you don't normally seek our approval  rubschin:

It was a cruel mimicry of BM and his "did you see what I did here, eh, eh?" posts.  redface:



"Aff not, lest ye be Affed"
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Barman on March 15, 2010, 01:33:22 PM
Aff Off!  evil:
Title: Re: Locusts
Post by: Snoopy on March 15, 2010, 01:34:20 PM
Aw! He was only having an Aff.