The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Medical Centre => Topic started by: Nick on March 26, 2010, 11:26:03 AM

Title: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Nick on March 26, 2010, 11:26:03 AM
So how is it going with the first VP Babby ( cloud9:). Is LL making BM do nappy changing practice? (involves flannels, ammonia and marmite  point:) Does she need ice packs? Is BM cooking proper for her, like?  ;D
 Popcorn:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Barman on March 26, 2010, 11:30:03 AM
She is sunburnt...  ::)
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Nick on March 26, 2010, 12:17:35 PM
You will need to rub her with Vaseline. Have you ever seen a whale?
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 26, 2010, 01:21:56 PM
She is sunburnt...  ::)

I blame it on the parents  noooo: noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Barman on March 26, 2010, 01:51:47 PM
She is sunburnt...  ::)

I blame it on the parents  noooo: noooo: noooo:

 redface:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 11, 2010, 02:12:35 PM
Well anytime soon for BM to be officially recognised as a Grandpa...Miss Piggy is in horsepickle now ..announcement expected some time soon  scared2:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Nick on July 11, 2010, 02:14:46 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KJGJRd8pGE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KJGJRd8pGE)
 point:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Barman on July 11, 2010, 02:16:32 PM
Place yer bets for sex and time of birth then like...

I reckon a boy and at 11:25 (UK time) this evening...
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Nick on July 11, 2010, 02:17:14 PM
Do you have an octopus to hand?
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Snoopy on July 11, 2010, 02:45:51 PM
Being a Grandfather is wonderful ~ the best bit is handing the little one an unwrapped creme egg as you help put them in the back of Mummy & Daddy's car for the journey home at the end of their visit to you for tea.  eveilgrin:


Mummy and Daddy don't usually notice (they are too busy trying to say goodbye to Grandma who is pressing them to take a few cuttings home for their garden) until they get home. The resultant telephone call is best fielded by Grandma whilst you nip off to the pub.  whistle:









PS In the absence of a Creme Egg I found an unwrapped finger of KitKat worked very well. Fits their tiny hands exactly and it is amazing how far that little chocolate can spread.
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Pastis on July 11, 2010, 02:51:53 PM
The vote coming in from Chez Pastis is as follows:

#1. Barman gets no sex
#2. 02:30 Monday 12th July  (11:25 is far too convenient)
#3. The Piglet is a girly

 razz:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Snoopy on July 11, 2010, 02:55:10 PM
Just how many Grandfathers do we have?
I have 4 grandchildren
I am fairly certain that DS has a few


errr.......................  shrugs:











Grandmothers can add themselves if they like .... I am too much of a gentleman to give you away  angel1
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 11, 2010, 03:31:04 PM
The vote coming in from Chez Pastis is as follows:

#1. Barman gets no sex
#2. 02:30 Monday 12th July  (11:25 is far too convenient)
#3. The Piglet is a girly

 razz:


 lol:

I tend to agree

Early hours of tomorrow morning but I think it might be a boy.
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Nick on July 11, 2010, 03:34:17 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxB9mnKYr4M (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxB9mnKYr4M)

Bollox
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Snoopy on July 11, 2010, 03:39:33 PM
Having been present at five I can assure you it hurts














To be called all those names for just trying to give a little pleasure  sad24:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Nick on July 11, 2010, 03:41:49 PM
Wimmin are so ungrateful  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Snoopy on July 11, 2010, 03:45:38 PM



         (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblog.andrewparker.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2008%2F01%2Fhammernail.jpg&hash=e3d6d1f8c870bd82e1edb73fb64e7237ec7c922a)
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 11, 2010, 03:50:13 PM
 noooo: noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Snoopy on July 11, 2010, 03:53:45 PM
Whaddayouknow? ~ you were too high on gas and air to care what you said.



I distinctly recall Mrs S#1 mentioning an electric carving knife if I ever unzipped my fly in her presence again and that was in the first hour of labour. What she was saying 24 hours later when the lad finally popped out I cannot repeat.  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 11, 2010, 03:57:11 PM
That's right what the heck do I know after all you have attended 5 of these events and I have only GONE THROUGH one . Spectating  can be such an ordeal  lol: lol: lol:

You poor , poor hound  whistle:

Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Snoopy on July 11, 2010, 04:01:50 PM


I'm sooooooooooooo glad you recognise that. It's not easy what with all that back rubbing and fetching iced water and having to ogle nurses and stuff  ;)



Friend of mine used to point out that when men became more involved in the domestic side of life they invented washing machines, vacuum cleaners, dishwashers, tumble dryers etc etc. His theory was that if we had to give birth we would pretty soon find a better way of doing it without all the fuss.  razz:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Pastis on July 11, 2010, 04:09:24 PM
Our heads are too big, thats's the problem. Some strange intervention and development thousands of years ago probably. What other form of organic life takes that long to rear its progeny?

Doesn't dull the pain though, obviously  whistle:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Nick on July 11, 2010, 04:13:38 PM
When Mrs Nick gave birth she puked on me. Most horrid  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Just One More on July 11, 2010, 05:33:47 PM
Just how many Grandfathers do we have?
I have 4 grandchildren
I am fairly certain that DS has a few


errr.......................  shrugs:











Grandmothers can add themselves if they like .... I am too much of a gentleman to give you away  angel1

I have two granddaughters and one grandson
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 11, 2010, 11:06:36 PM
Just how many Grandfathers do we have?
I have 4 grandchildren
I am fairly certain that DS has a few

Also 4 and one on the way.

3 girls and 1 boy


Our heads are too big, thats's the problem. Some strange intervention and development thousands of years ago probably. What other form of organic life takes that long to rear its progeny?
[serious]
It is all because we insist on walking on our hind legs which makes the pelvis narrower so the original sized baby ape couldn't get through.

Evolution got round this by making human babies have shorter gestation times and be born less developed, hence they take longer to reach the running around stage. [/serious]

I have no doubt it is not a comfortable experience for ladies.  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Nick on July 12, 2010, 06:38:20 AM
Popcorn:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Barman on July 12, 2010, 08:32:45 AM
Nuffink...  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Nick on July 12, 2010, 08:40:54 AM
 happy100
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Barman on July 12, 2010, 03:01:40 PM
Baby girl, born by caesarian at 12:10 UK time, 7lbs 7oz mother, baby (as yet unnamed) and grandpa doing well...
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Snoopy on July 12, 2010, 03:04:42 PM
Please send heartiest congratulations to Miss Piggy.

You don't say but how is Grandma?
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Nick on July 12, 2010, 03:13:15 PM
A babby cloud9:

Drinks are on the house  cloud9:

Grandpa  point:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Barman on July 12, 2010, 03:21:16 PM
Please send heartiest congratulations to Miss Piggy.

You don't say but how is Grandma?

She is doing well too...  lol:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Nick on July 12, 2010, 03:25:00 PM
We shall call it Piglet. cloud9:

Drinks are the house cloud9:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Barman on July 12, 2010, 03:25:25 PM
A babby cloud9:

Drinks are on the house  cloud9:

Grandpa  point:

 evil:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Snoopy on July 12, 2010, 03:27:45 PM
Please send heartiest congratulations to Miss Piggy.

You don't say but how is Grandma?

She is doing well too...  lol:

Grandma will be bending the plastic to breaking point on all things girly and pink + a new hat for herself ready for the Christening.

Are you planning on getting a new bucket for the ceremony or just giving the old one a polish?
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Barman on July 12, 2010, 03:29:37 PM
Please send heartiest congratulations to Miss Piggy.

You don't say but how is Grandma?

She is doing well too...  lol:

Grandma will be bending the plastic to breaking point on all things girly and pink + a new hat for herself ready for the Christening.

Are you planning on getting a new bucket for the ceremony or just giving the old one a polish?

No, I'll give my old helmet a good rub...  whistle:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Snoopy on July 12, 2010, 03:32:43 PM
Please send heartiest congratulations to Miss Piggy.

You don't say but how is Grandma?

She is doing well too...  lol:

Grandma will be bending the plastic to breaking point on all things girly and pink + a new hat for herself ready for the Christening.

Are you planning on getting a new bucket for the ceremony or just giving the old one a polish?

No, I'll give my old helmet a good rub...  whistle:

Back to business as usual then.  ;)
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 12, 2010, 04:01:44 PM
A new babby!

Hurrah!

My congrats to all involved.
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Pastis on July 12, 2010, 04:02:35 PM
I reckon I got closest to all 3 right  angel1

Congrats BM  lol:   A large Pernod will do nicely!
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Just One More on July 12, 2010, 05:40:54 PM
Congrats to all. Have a Werthers Original on me
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Barman on July 12, 2010, 05:56:42 PM
Thanks all... it was a doddle - I didn't feel a thing...  whistle:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on July 12, 2010, 08:30:15 PM
Oh tut, missed all the action being on limited connection cos was roaming away from home... like.  Congratulations to all.  Grandchildren, not yet but will be most pleased as and when.  My own experience:  first one - exactly what you don't want being rushed by ambulance to specialist unit 25 miles away and don't speak a word of Cantonese!  Second one after a dinner of fish and chips, had a bath and just before bedtime out he popped, he then proceeded to sleep from 10 pm to 9.30 next morning.

Lucky Miss Piggy. cloud9:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 13, 2010, 09:42:48 AM
Well done Miss Piggy and Congratulations to all.  ;D ;D ;D

Another 18 years and Piglet can serve behind the bar.
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Barman on July 13, 2010, 10:00:44 AM
Well done Miss Piggy and Congratulations to all.  ;D ;D ;D

Another 18 years and Piglet can serve behind the bar.

They will prolly have raised the bar by then...  whistle:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 13, 2010, 10:57:08 AM
Well done Miss Piggy and Congratulations to all.  ;D ;D ;D

Another 18 years and Piglet can serve behind the bar.

They will prolly have raised the bar by then...  whistle:

I take it you didn't get much sleep last night?  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Barman on July 13, 2010, 11:02:30 AM
Well done Miss Piggy and Congratulations to all.  ;D ;D ;D

Another 18 years and Piglet can serve behind the bar.

They will prolly have raised the bar by then...  whistle:

I take it you didn't get much sleep last night?  noooo:

No... redface:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 14, 2010, 08:30:43 PM
Congratulations to all involved.

I am a grandmother x2  1 girl aged 2 1 boy aged 1.  They live in Scotland so I don't get to see them too often. sad32:  However when I do see them they are a delight.  I am so proud of their parents.
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Nick on July 14, 2010, 08:31:54 PM
Daddy Piglet must be shagged out  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Miss Piggy mahoosive lump and grandpa thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 14, 2010, 08:49:50 PM
Not in the literal sense I can assure you. 8)