The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on March 29, 2010, 12:02:33 PM

Title: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on March 29, 2010, 12:02:33 PM
Round 2.  cloud9:

London for a long weekend. Must stock up on TUna  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 29, 2010, 12:05:23 PM
 scared2:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on March 29, 2010, 12:09:09 PM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs4.postimage.org%2FebiXA.jpg&hash=5c128ccca0009e8983ff04c39338cbf9ce2ddff6) (http://www.postimage.org/)
 cloud9:

Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on March 29, 2010, 12:10:42 PM
scared2:

No choccy for you then  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 29, 2010, 12:16:56 PM
Mr Fish has not been eaten yet either......

I believe he is saving it for TG's Eurovision party  whistle:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: GROWLER on March 29, 2010, 12:17:17 PM
Chappie is the way forward. happy088
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on March 29, 2010, 12:17:46 PM
Perhaps he could donate Mr Fish to Bertie
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 29, 2010, 12:18:42 PM
Oh no ....it's too good for a pesky cat apparently  noooo:

Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on March 29, 2010, 12:22:06 PM
I tend to agree, especially if baked in salt  whistle:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 29, 2010, 12:27:58 PM
Round 2.  cloud9:

London for a long weekend. Must stock up on TUna  eveilgrin:

Anyway ...when is this so I can book my weekend away  ;D
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on March 29, 2010, 12:28:48 PM
Soon, very very soon  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Pastis on March 29, 2010, 04:45:29 PM
Mr Fish has not been eaten yet either......

I believe he is saving it for TG's Eurovision party  whistle:

29th May ... 2 months today  lol:

I think Mr Fish will be long gone  whistle:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on March 30, 2010, 01:54:59 PM
CANCELLED  sad24:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: GROWLER on March 30, 2010, 01:56:21 PM
CANCELLED  sad24:

Has the cat just died then, you know, from the poison you fed it last time?
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on March 31, 2010, 07:18:02 AM
UNcancelled  cloud9: Bertie here I come
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 31, 2010, 07:36:32 AM
She sounds as erratic as you  rubschin:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on March 31, 2010, 07:46:44 AM
 evil:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: GROWLER on March 31, 2010, 08:11:44 AM
Will he, won't he? ::)

Who knows? Who actually cares ey, who?  Shrugs:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Snoopy on March 31, 2010, 10:20:49 AM
Nick does the Hokey-Cokey
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on March 31, 2010, 10:24:26 AM
I could go clubbing with Miss D  rubschin:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: tel on March 31, 2010, 10:25:04 AM
You could be clubbed by Miss D.
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on March 31, 2010, 10:25:39 AM
You could be clubbed by Miss D.
scared2:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 31, 2010, 10:26:53 AM
I would have to invite you first  whistle:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Snoopy on March 31, 2010, 10:27:34 AM
Never wise to date relatives ~ no matter how distant.
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 31, 2010, 10:28:42 AM
Never wise to date relatives ~ no matter how distant.
happy001
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 31, 2010, 10:30:06 AM
 shocked003 shocked003 shocked003
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on March 31, 2010, 10:43:44 AM
It seems Bertie has cat flu  eeek: I am packing my nurse's uniform  angel1
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Snoopy on March 31, 2010, 10:44:50 AM
People can catch cat flu  eeek:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 31, 2010, 10:49:53 AM
It seems Bertie has cat flu  eeek: I am packing my nurse's uniform 

I thought you weren't looking after him until May. Surely he'll of got over it by then  ?
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on March 31, 2010, 10:51:34 AM
Yikes!!  eeek:


Quote
When they are infected cats will start to shed virus particles by way of saliva and eye and nasal discharges. Healthy cats can carry the virus and infect other cats by shedding the virus particles.
The virus is easily spread via infected toys or food bowls and even on the clothes of those who have come into contact with an infected cat.
Attentive nursing of an infected cat is crucial because some of symptoms - such as mouth ulcers of a blocked nose - can prevent drinking or eating, often leading to dehydration.
eeek:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on March 31, 2010, 10:52:49 AM
It seems Bertie has cat flu  eeek: I am packing my nurse's uniform 

I thought you weren't looking after him until May. Surely he'll of got over it by then  ?

Easter special. I am leaving first thing tomorrow. Until then he is being looked after by the Heavy Metal band next door  eeek:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on April 01, 2010, 04:53:12 PM
Bertie remembers me  cloud9:

First thing he did was to go through my bag looking for tuna  cloud9:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Snoopy on April 02, 2010, 06:51:13 AM
He's prolly like that with all the boys. ;)
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 02, 2010, 06:52:35 AM
Bertie remembers me  cloud9:

First thing he did was to go through my bag looking for tuna  cloud9:

How bad do your clothes smell  rubschin:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Snoopy on April 02, 2010, 06:54:40 AM
Bertie remembers me  cloud9:

First thing he did was to go through my bag looking for tuna  cloud9:

How bad do your clothes smell  rubschin:

 shutup:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on April 02, 2010, 07:04:40 AM
Bastard cat  cussing:

Since I was last here he has acquired a new techno-fangled catflap which seems to have malfunctioned  Banghead

The "Bertie goes out" function appears to work perfick. The "Bertie comes in" function is gubbed  Banghead

Result. He goes out and then hurls himself at the door to get back in. When this first happed at HALF PAST FOOKING MIDNIGHT  Angry9: I thought someone was trying to break in. Got up and let him in. Little sod then went out again  Banghead

This has gone on all night. I have just found some clothes pegs and wedged the flap open.
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: tel on April 02, 2010, 08:08:21 AM
So you will now be visited by assorted cats, foxes, frogs rats etc.
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Barman on April 02, 2010, 09:34:48 AM
Bastard cat  cussing:

Since I was last here he has acquired a new techno-fangled catflap which seems to have malfunctioned  Banghead

The "Bertie goes out" function appears to work perfick. The "Bertie comes in" function is gubbed  Banghead

Result. He goes out and then hurls himself at the door to get back in. When this first happed at HALF PAST FOOKING MIDNIGHT  Angry9: I thought someone was trying to break in. Got up and let him in. Little sod then went out again  Banghead

This has gone on all night. I have just found some clothes pegs and wedged the flap open.

There should be a switch that allows OUT, IN, IN and OUT or LOCKED...
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: GROWLER on April 02, 2010, 09:38:20 AM
Bastard cat  cussing:

Since I was last here he has acquired a new techno-fangled catflap which seems to have malfunctioned  Banghead

The "Bertie goes out" function appears to work perfick. The "Bertie comes in" function is gubbed  Banghead

Result. He goes out and then hurls himself at the door to get back in. When this first happed at HALF PAST FOOKING MIDNIGHT  Angry9: I thought someone was trying to break in. Got up and let him in. Little sod then went out again  Banghead

This has gone on all night. I have just found some clothes pegs and wedged the flap open.

There should be a switch that allows OUT, IN, IN and OUT or LOCKED...

Oh FFS don't confuse him anymore. ::)
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: tel on April 02, 2010, 09:39:25 AM
It could be one of those that's activated by a device on the collar.
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Barman on April 02, 2010, 09:44:53 AM
It could be one of those that's activated by a device on the collar.

That is the one... and the flap has a multi-position switch....
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Just One More on April 02, 2010, 12:47:44 PM

I have just found some clothes pegs and wedged the flap open.

Poor Bertie, the RSPCA (bastards) should be informed
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on April 02, 2010, 03:05:08 PM
He has opened and torn up an entire box of tissues  cussing:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: tel on April 02, 2010, 03:12:31 PM
Cat flu!
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Pastis on April 02, 2010, 03:46:26 PM
Is he any good at shredding documents?   rubschin:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on April 02, 2010, 03:47:28 PM
 rubschin:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Barman on April 02, 2010, 03:52:38 PM
Cat flu!
drumroll:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on April 02, 2010, 04:28:22 PM
I have been clearing up the mess and blocked the fooking hoover  cussing:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: tel on April 02, 2010, 04:29:49 PM
Cat up a hoover - not good.
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Pirate on April 02, 2010, 04:31:43 PM
The cat flu out of the cat flap
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on April 02, 2010, 05:44:10 PM
He has just puked in my shoe  Banghead
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: tel on April 02, 2010, 05:49:39 PM
Winter Vomiting Bug Norovirus!

Or lactose intolerant - lotsa cats are.

Wait until the other end joins in.
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on April 02, 2010, 06:13:25 PM
 scared2:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on April 05, 2010, 09:12:26 AM
Bertie does not like Mr Hoover  noooo:

He's on the roof!  scared2:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Bar Wench on April 06, 2010, 07:53:06 PM
Sorry I am somewhat behind. At what location is Bertie?
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Barman on April 06, 2010, 07:53:49 PM
Sorry I am somewhat behind. At what location is Bertie?

Don't ask...  noooo:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: GROWLER on April 06, 2010, 08:27:56 PM
Bertie does not like Mr Hoover  noooo:

He's on the roof!  scared2:

We're not too fussed on you.
WE haven't got much of a choice though. ::)
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 07, 2010, 11:48:14 AM
Sorry I am somewhat behind. At what location is Bertie?

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.heatherbrundage.com%2FBlog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F09%2FMaryPoppinsRoof.jpg&hash=37983a594ac129c0469662f10ef75da916ea2dd4)
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Snoopy on April 07, 2010, 03:47:09 PM
Sorry I am somewhat behind. At what location is Bertie?

 < Sensible head on>

London
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 07, 2010, 06:09:55 PM
Sorry I am somewhat behind. At what location is Bertie?

 < Sensible head on>

London

 cussing:

My pictorial answer was also sensible and correct, "The rooftops of London" with Dick van Dork.
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Barman on April 07, 2010, 06:12:01 PM
Sorry I am somewhat behind. At what location is Bertie?

 < Sensible head on>

London

 cussing:

My pictorial answer was also sensible and correct, "The rooftops of London" with Dick van Dork.

Quite so Darwin....  scared2:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Snoopy on April 08, 2010, 06:48:30 AM
Je suis contrit  surrender:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on May 18, 2010, 11:47:55 AM
ROund  3 has been arranged  cloud9:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Uncle Mort on May 18, 2010, 11:53:02 AM
I take it Bertie's winning on points at the moment.  ;)
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on May 18, 2010, 04:20:26 PM
I have no doubt whatsoever that Nick is quite capable of vomiting in his own shoe. noooo:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 18, 2010, 05:20:41 PM
I have no doubt whatsoever that Nick is quite capable of vomiting in his own shoe. noooo:

You are forgetting, this is Nick we are talking about. He'd probably miss and vomit on someone else's shoes instead.  lol:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on May 19, 2010, 02:04:29 PM
Good point well made. GM
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on May 19, 2010, 02:06:17 PM
I have never puked in someone else's shoe.  evil:

Handbag, I admit to.
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 19, 2010, 02:21:46 PM
I have never puked in someone else's shoe.  evil:

Handbag, I admit to.

Ginger toms do that a lot.  noooo:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on May 19, 2010, 02:28:03 PM
Do you often visit Balham?
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 19, 2010, 02:31:40 PM
Do you often visit Balham?

"Gateway to the South"?

Sadly, no.
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 19, 2010, 05:01:22 PM
I have never puked in someone else's shoe.  evil:

Handbag, I admit to.

Your chat up routine really needs some improvement  whistle:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on December 16, 2010, 01:11:45 PM
The French LIngerie Model e mails. She is staying put this Christmas so my Bertie-sitting services are not required  sad24:

I thus lose a week of playing in London and will have to stay in NOgbush. I have an invite to my sister's on Christmas day, but she is becoming increasingly bonkers and my autistic nephew and his barking mad girlfriend will be there, along with Poppy the Attack Cat  noooo:  I spent Christmas with her once many years ago and vowed never again. She had invited some elderly neighbours round and the wumman had some sort of nervous disorder which made her vomit every ten minutes. SHe ended up with a bucket next to the dining table  to save her trekking to the bog all the time eeek:

I may just batten down the hatches  surrender:

Anyhoo, I have sent Bertie a card with a picture of some tuna in it.  cloud9:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Snoopy on December 16, 2010, 01:35:25 PM
 lol: lol: lol:

Nick world is in another universe.
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on December 16, 2010, 06:01:50 PM
The French LIngerie Model e mails. She is staying put this Christmas so my Bertie-sitting services are not required  sad24:

I thus lose a week of playing in London and will have to stay in NOgbush. I have an invite to my sister's on Christmas day, but she is becoming increasingly bonkers and my autistic nephew and his barking mad girlfriend will be there, along with Poppy the Attack Cat  noooo:  I spent Christmas with her once many years ago and vowed never again. She had invited some elderly neighbours round and the wumman had some sort of nervous disorder which made her vomit every ten minutes. SHe ended up with a bucket next to the dining table  to save her trekking to the bog all the time eeek:

I may just batten down the hatches  surrender:

Anyhoo, I have sent Bertie a card with a picture of some tuna in it.  cloud9:

You could come and join us. Several attractive gerls and us.
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 16, 2010, 06:06:33 PM
What could possibly go wrong Miss C  lol:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: Nick on December 16, 2010, 06:40:04 PM
The French LIngerie Model e mails. She is staying put this Christmas so my Bertie-sitting services are not required  sad24:

I thus lose a week of playing in London and will have to stay in NOgbush. I have an invite to my sister's on Christmas day, but she is becoming increasingly bonkers and my autistic nephew and his barking mad girlfriend will be there, along with Poppy the Attack Cat  noooo:  I spent Christmas with her once many years ago and vowed never again. She had invited some elderly neighbours round and the wumman had some sort of nervous disorder which made her vomit every ten minutes. SHe ended up with a bucket next to the dining table  to save her trekking to the bog all the time eeek:

I may just batten down the hatches  surrender:

Anyhoo, I have sent Bertie a card with a picture of some tuna in it.  cloud9:

You could come and join us. Several attractive gerls and us.
[/quote

Gerls you say?? rubschin:
Title: Re: Bertie the Cat
Post by: barmisspah? on December 17, 2010, 03:57:17 PM
The French LIngerie Model e mails. She is staying put this Christmas so my Bertie-sitting services are not required  sad24:

I thus lose a week of playing in London and will have to stay in NOgbush. I have an invite to my sister's on Christmas day, but she is becoming increasingly bonkers and my autistic nephew and his barking mad girlfriend will be there, along with Poppy the Attack Cat  noooo: 
I may just batten down the hatches  surrender:

Anyhoo, I have sent Bertie a card with a picture of some tuna in it.  cloud9:

You could come and join us. Several attractive gerls and us.



Are you mad  ?