The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: GROWLER on April 13, 2010, 09:12:03 AM

Title: Killing the ivy.
Post by: GROWLER on April 13, 2010, 09:12:03 AM
I'm on a mission to kill this bloody wretched creeping ivy bush/tree that has encroached it's way into our garden.
It is ravaging, rampaging and strangling everything in its powerful and speedy growing path.
It's even burrowed it's way through the barge boards into next doors garage that backs onto our garden.
Trying to prise it away from brickwork is nigh on impossible.

What's this stuff made of ffs? It ain't normal that's for sure.
Have the military considered using it for a first line defence system of some sort?

Been on a couple of forums, and some seem to rate 'Roundup' as being half decent.
Seems to be a worldwide problem of enormous magnitude this, and even banned in some states of America apparently.
Absolute utter bastard to completely eradicate it seems.

Anyone got any better suggestions, and yes, I have considerd FIRE too. Bit risky with all the trees and bushes nearby though.
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: Nick on April 13, 2010, 09:16:59 AM
Maybe you could shoot it  rubschin:
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: GROWLER on April 13, 2010, 09:37:09 AM
Maybe you could shoot it  rubschin:

Most helpful  noooo:...as usual. ::)

Do you EVER post anything remotely useful/helpful that isn't actually a figment of your overly excitable imagination ey?
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: Pastis on April 13, 2010, 09:53:45 AM
The only thing we've been able to do is cut it a ground level and then rip it off the trees and wall. A case of management rather than annihilation.  rubschin:
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: tel on April 13, 2010, 09:56:33 AM
Systemic weedkillers will work but it may take a few years.
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: GROWLER on April 13, 2010, 10:00:30 AM
Systemic weedkillers will work but it may take a few years.

Great. ::)

Diesel and Jeyes fluid have been suggested. rubschin:

I'm still wavering on my favourite solution....FIRE! happy088
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: Barman on April 13, 2010, 11:09:48 AM
I can hear the ambulance from here....  whistle:
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: Snoopy on April 13, 2010, 02:37:12 PM
Nothing much you can do except control the stuff ~ a never ending job.  noooo:

Problem is that it burrows into the mortar and f*cks the wall, eventually.
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: Nick on April 13, 2010, 02:52:25 PM
Cut it off at soil level and leave it to wither over the summer  ::)
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: Snoopy on April 13, 2010, 02:54:20 PM
But the twisty bits that burrow into the mortar are roots and will take water from the wall causing even more damage. Pulling it off the wall is even worse. Nothing kills the b@ast@rd stuff.
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: Barman on April 13, 2010, 02:55:25 PM
It does look lovely tho...  whistle:
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: Pirate on April 13, 2010, 02:55:48 PM
Cut it off at soil level and leave it to wither over the summer  ::)

and pour petrol on the exposed, cut roots left in the ground
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: Nick on April 13, 2010, 02:57:29 PM
whilst smoking  whistle:
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: GROWLER on April 13, 2010, 07:49:41 PM
Growler jnr and I have been out in the garden attacking the ivy infestation.
We've come across a berds nest amongst the deep growth with a chick in it unfortunately.
We hope it's ok.
We've had to abandon clearance until it's fled the nest.
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: Pastis on April 13, 2010, 08:10:03 PM
Growler jnr and I have been out in the garden attacking the ivy infestation.
We've come across a berds nest amongst the deep growth with a chick in it unfortunately.
We hope it's ok.
We've had to abandon clearance until it's fled the nest.

A moment to remember there ...  rubschin:
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: GROWLER on April 13, 2010, 08:15:42 PM
Growler jnr and I have been out in the garden attacking the ivy infestation.
We've come across a berds nest amongst the deep growth with a chick in it unfortunately.
We hope it's ok.
We've had to abandon clearance until it's fled the nest.

A moment to remember there ...  rubschin:

Remember what? confused:
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 13, 2010, 08:19:46 PM
Growler jnr and I have been out in the garden attacking the ivy infestation.
We've come across a berds nest amongst the deep growth with a chick in it unfortunately.
We hope it's ok.
We've had to abandon clearance until it's fled the nest.

A moment to remember there ...  rubschin:

A berd in your bush is worth two in your ivy of course.



Remember what? confused:
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: GROWLER on April 13, 2010, 08:21:14 PM
Growler jnr and I have been out in the garden attacking the ivy infestation.
We've come across a berds nest amongst the deep growth with a chick in it unfortunately.
We hope it's ok.
We've had to abandon clearance until it's fled the nest.

A moment to remember there ...  rubschin:

A berd in your bush is worth two in your ivy of course.



Remember what? confused:

I think yer all ratted tonight. ::)
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: Nick on April 13, 2010, 08:34:08 PM
I like breasts  cloud9:
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: Barman on April 14, 2010, 07:22:32 AM
Growler jnr and I have been out in the garden attacking the ivy infestation.
We've come across a berds nest amongst the deep growth with a chick in it unfortunately.
We hope it's ok.
We've had to abandon clearance until it's fled the nest.

Lucky you didn't take the petrol route then...  noooo:
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 14, 2010, 07:28:05 AM
What with the cat and now potentially the bird , Growler may start to get a bit of a repuptation with his fellow wildlife  whistle:
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: GROWLER on April 14, 2010, 07:44:37 AM
I like breasts  cloud9:

That explains your seemingly boundless luv and admiration for yourself then. ::)
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: GROWLER on April 14, 2010, 07:47:26 AM
Growler jnr and I have been out in the garden attacking the ivy infestation.
We've come across a berds nest amongst the deep growth with a chick in it unfortunately.
We hope it's ok.
We've had to abandon clearance until it's fled the nest.

Lucky you didn't take the petrol route then...  noooo:

Absolutely. eeek:

Very sad about thet animal sanctuary/home/whatever that burned down yesterday, Devon I think it was.
Thousands of pets perished apparently. cry:

I love animals...apart from cats obviously, oh, and Nicks.
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: GROWLER on April 14, 2010, 07:50:18 AM
Been keeping an eye on 'the nest' but haven't seen any activity yet.
I do hope my rummaging in the undergrowth hasn't scared the mother berd away like.
Should I bring the chick in and hand rear it do you think? rubschin:

I'm concerned.
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: Barman on April 14, 2010, 07:52:38 AM
I rescued a burd yesterday - the cats had got the poor little thing down in my basement...

I managed to kick them out and capture it... took it upstairs and put it on the patio table... it looked at me for a bit as if waiting for the final crushing blow or summat and then flew off...  cloud9:

Hopefully the little bastard won't shit on my car in the future...  cussing:
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: GROWLER on April 14, 2010, 07:59:42 AM
It's BERD actually, not BURD. noooo:

So warra'my going to do then ey?
I'm scared to climb up and look in in case big moma berd is watching like.
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 14, 2010, 08:01:58 AM
Go and check...you will only be fretting all day

Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: GROWLER on April 14, 2010, 08:06:48 AM
Go and check...you will only be fretting all day



OK. I'll have to get Mrs G to keep watch for me...just in case like.

Hope tweets is ok. I'll be absolutely devo'd if it's abandoned and dies.  sad24:
P'raps I should dig some werms up and lob'em in like p'raps?
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 14, 2010, 08:08:16 AM
So now you're gonna bomb the bird  noooo:

Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: Nick on April 14, 2010, 08:11:48 AM
So it's cruelty to werms now  noooo:
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: GROWLER on April 14, 2010, 08:11:55 AM
I'm pretty sure it's dead.
No movement at all. Shook the nest very gently, but nothing.

I'm absolutely gutted and really upset as I feel as though I'm responsible now.
Title: Re: Killing the ivy.
Post by: Snoopy on April 14, 2010, 08:17:28 AM
I rescued a burd yesterday - the cats had got the poor little thing down in my basement...

I managed to kick them out and capture it... took it upstairs and put it on the patio table... it looked at me for a bit as if waiting for the final crushing blow or summat and then flew off...  cloud9:

Hopefully the little bastard won't shit on my car in the future...  cussing:

In the deep mid winter a little bird fell to earth, frozen and unable to fly it lay on the ground waiting for death to overcome it.
Along came a herd of cows on the way to be milked and one cow shat right on top of the little bird .... the heat of the all enveloping cow pat warmed the little bird and saved it from certain death. So much so that the little bird began to chirp and eventually, with its returning strength, it sang its little song.
A passing cat, hearing the song coming from the cow pat was overcome with curiosity and digging into the steaming pile, uncovered the little bird and promptly ate it.




Which proves it is not always your enemies who shit on you nor your friends who dig you out.