The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on May 04, 2010, 12:47:57 PM
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I am, of course, now entangled with surveyors and solicitors. cussing: WHy is nothing ever straightforward with these idiots who spend their entire werking life doing things I do about three times in a lifetime. cussing:
Phone calls, e mails, faxes, shouting - and they all blame someone else. Bastards. And they all charge by the hour or part thereof cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
I paid some bastard ?550 for the survey on my London flat. They whipped the dosh from my account 10 days ago. I have not had the report yet and my IFA says they have lost it!! Banghead Banghead Banghead
Estate agents in a hurry (suddenly cussing:) and mortgage stalled.
Also getting shit from Mrs Nick cussing:
My sis, who is also selling has a lease related prob and reports that her solicitor is charging here ?125 per HOUR (or part thereof) to sort it out. Sort it out you bastards angry041:
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I have a book called "The Which Guide to Self Conveyancing"
Would you like to borrow it? angel1
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Finger:
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I put you down as a "Don't Know" then ;D
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I symapthise Nick - generally speaking, any conveyancing involving Leasehold results in a clusterfuck.
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It's a shared freehold cussing:
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It's a shared freehold cussing:
Even worse...
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scared2:
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http://www.bmmortgages.co.uk/contact-us/complaints-policy/ (http://www.bmmortgages.co.uk/contact-us/complaints-policy/)
I gave them hell eveilgrin: eveilgrin: eveilgrin: eveilgrin: eveilgrin: eveilgrin: eveilgrin:
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I symapthise Nick - generally speaking, any conveyancing involving Leasehold results in a clusterfuck.
Google Chris Spoor
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Right. So because I am self employed my accountant has to fill in a form for the bank.
So I send her the form. Two weeks ago evil:
So it doesn't come back evil:
So I email to ask where it is evil:
So she replies, "What form? I am in Vancouver"
Banghead
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At least she replied to her email lol:
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Angry9:
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Currently being bounced around from operative to operative in the same fooking bank. Seven different idiots in 20 minutes. Banghead Currently hearing "one of our operators will be with you shortly" Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
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Right. So because I am self employed my accountant has to fill in a form for the bank.
So I send her the form. Two weeks ago evil:
So it doesn't come back evil:
So I email to ask where it is evil:
So she replies, "What form? I am in Vancouver"
Banghead
You should have gone to a "proper" Self-Cert Mortgage Company... whistle:
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Right. So because I am self employed my accountant has to fill in a form for the bank.
So I send her the form. Two weeks ago evil:
So it doesn't come back evil:
So I email to ask where it is evil:
So she replies, "What form? I am in Vancouver"
Banghead
You should have gone to a "proper" Self-Cert Mortgage Company... whistle:
A rarity these days ~ unlike when I got my mortgage 8)
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Fooking stoopid useless banks Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
What do they want? Blood? Eh? cussing: cussing:
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What do they want? Blood?
a.k.a. "a reasonable return on their investment"
;)
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Right, I am trying to borrow 30K against a flat worth ?250K. Why are they making it so fooking difficult? Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
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Right, I am trying to borrow 30K against a flat worth ?250K. Why are they making it so fooking difficult? Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
I tried to do a deal on my Stepfather's house - same issue... noooo:
I can't remember what the bank's reply was now but basically they weren't interested in collecting the house if I defaulted even tho it would have made them ????????????????????????s.... cussing:
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Right, I am trying to borrow 30K against a flat worth ?250K. Why are they making it so fooking difficult? Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
New FSA guidelines state that common sense must, at all times, be substituted for abject fuckwittery and reams of paperwork - thus making their entirely toothless body look like they are actually "regulating" the banking world.
Bunch of fuck-knuckles. evil:
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The battle continues Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
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What now FFS?
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More bank related fuckwittery cussing:
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Right, I am trying to borrow 30K against a flat worth ?250K. Why are they making it so fooking difficult? Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
Is this going to be a first or second charge on the property? If you already have a mortgage on the flat the overall LTV could be why they are skittish.
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I own it outright!! cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
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I have just got back from the bank where I had an appointment to see the mortgage wumman who I spent an hour with last week.
I asked for her.
"She doesn't work here anymore. Do you want to see Wayne instead?"
cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: Banghead
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Wayne Kerr?
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Wayne doesn't sound very hopeful does it... noooo:
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I declined their offer evil:
Wayne can go and fook himself
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I declined their offer evil:
Wayne can go and fook himself
Wise move...
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I have been on the blower to the Ombudsman eveilgrin:
I am in fighting form today.
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I am in fighting form today.
Casualty tonight. noooo:
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My accountant calls, back from her holiday. "Certainly I can fill these forms in Mr Nick, but that involves some calculations. So I can proceed as soon as you have transferred ?375 to my account."
Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
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RIght. SO a mortgage lender whips ?505 out of my account to undertake a survey on my flat. No survey is conducted and no report is forthcoming. I ask for the money back.
They have offered me ?320. And I have paid them ?185 for, um, nothing. Bastard thieves angry041: angry041: angry041: angry041: angry041:
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Sue ~ or at least threaten to.
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Oh they have not heard the last of me eveilgrin:
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Right, I am trying to borrow 30K against a flat worth ?250K. Why are they making it so fooking difficult? Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
Right. So the bank call about this mortgage. They check a few details and then submit the application for a credit check. Declined cussing:
I ask why. "It is because you are under 18" eeek:
"No I am not" cussing:
"Ah, we have entered your birthdate wrongly" (as 2005 it turns out noooo:)
They correct this dumb error and the mortgage is approved ;D
What is going to go wrong next I wonder? rubschin:
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Like they would have allowed a five year old a current account in the first place ~ fuckwits!
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I seem to be surrounded by idiots noooo:
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I have, at last, won one battle. One to go evil:
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I have, at last, won one battle. One to go evil:
happ096
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Excellent news Nick well done chap. ;D
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SO the bank ask me for a document. I send it to them. I get a call yesterday saying it's fine and that my mortgage is approved. cloud9:
Then they decide they want something from my accountant. evil: Turns out she in America and not back for a month Banghead
cussing:
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SO the bank ask me for a document. I send it to them. I get a call yesterday saying it's fine and that my mortgage is approved. cloud9:
Then they decide they want something from my accountant. evil: Turns out she in America and not back for a month Banghead
cussing:
Ain't she got an assistant that can 'elp like? Shrugs:
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SO the bank ask me for a document. I send it to them. I get a call yesterday saying it's fine and that my mortgage is approved. cloud9:
Then they decide they want something from my accountant. evil: Turns out she in America and not back for a month Banghead
cussing:
But she's only just come back hasn't she ?
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Nooooooooooooo cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
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Nooooooooooooo cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Who is paying for that holiday in Ameriky like...? whistle:
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The fooking bastards have introduced a new loop into it. Bastards cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
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The fooking bastards have introduced a new loop into it. Bastards cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Of course they have - what did you expect...? Shrugs:
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My annuity company made a mistake on one of my two pension pots they received in that they set it up without taking off the 25% tax free payment first. My financial advisor has just rang to say they've sorted it out and they have sent me the payment. The good news is that they given me £1,000 for making an error.
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Lend us a quid 8)
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Sorry, I'm just a poor pensioner. ;)
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Nice one Uncle happy088
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I keep telling people that I am an ex-serviceman fallen upon hard times but it makes no difference sad24:
I went into a public-'ouse to get a pint o' beer,
The publican 'e up an' sez, "We serve no red-coats here."
The girls be'ind the bar they laughed an' giggled fit to die,
I outs into the street again an' to myself sez I:
O it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, go away";
But it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play,
The band begins to play, my boys, the band begins to play,
O it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play.
I went into a theatre as sober as could be,
They gave a drunk civilian room, but 'adn't none for me;
They sent me to the gallery or round the music-'alls,
But when it comes to fightin', Lord! they'll shove me in the stalls!
For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, wait outside";
But it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide,
The troopship's on the tide, my boys, the troopship's on the tide,
O it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide.
Yes, makin' mock o' uniforms that guard you while you sleep
Is cheaper than them uniforms, an' they're starvation cheap;
An' hustlin' drunken soldiers when they're goin' large a bit
Is five times better business than paradin' in full kit.
Then it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, 'ow's yer soul?"
But it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll,
The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll,
O it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll.
We aren't no thin red 'eroes, nor we aren't no blackguards too,
But single men in barricks, most remarkable like you;
An' if sometimes our conduck isn't all your fancy paints,
Why, single men in barricks don't grow into plaster saints;
While it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, fall be'ind",
But it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the wind,
There's trouble in the wind, my boys, there's trouble in the wind,
O it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the wind.
You talk o' better food for us, an' schools, an' fires, an' all:
We'll wait for extry rations if you treat us rational.
Don't mess about the cook-room slops, but prove it to our face
The Widow's Uniform is not the soldier-man's disgrace.
For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Chuck him out, the brute!"
But it's "Saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot;
An' it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' anything you please;
An' Tommy ain't a bloomin' fool -- you bet that Tommy sees!
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TBH ~ I prefer his cakes. ;)
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Well ~ at least we now know who our friends are sad32: