The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on September 04, 2010, 08:12:59 AM

Title: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Nick on September 04, 2010, 08:12:59 AM
Little Sis released from hospital on Thursday. Big sis and me arrange to have flowers delivered yesterday. No delivery!  evil:

An e mail is sent!

Quote
Hello, I ordered some orchids online, to be delivered TODAY to my sister who has been very ill in hospital. She came home yesterday [Thursday] and I particularly wanted her to have the flowers today.
I trust you will be delivering your best orchids tomorrow morning. Not before 10a.m.please

They delivered at 7.30 this morning!!!!  cussing:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: GROWLER on September 04, 2010, 08:20:35 AM
Little Sis released from hospital on Thursday. Big sis and me arrange to have flowers delivered yesterday. No delivery!  evil:

An e mail is sent!

Quote
Hello, I ordered some orchids online, to be delivered TODAY to my sister who has been very ill in hospital. She came home yesterday [Thursday] and I particularly wanted her to have the flowers today.
I trust you will be delivering your best orchids tomorrow morning. Not before 10a.m.please

They delivered at 7.30 this morning!!!!  cussing:

This is the UK ffs!
What are you expecting? Good reliable prompt service? happy001

Should have ordered from abroad
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Miss Demeanour on September 04, 2010, 09:20:21 AM
Flowers can be delivered at any time of the day as far as I'm concerned  sad24:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Snoopy on September 04, 2010, 09:23:15 AM
Flowers can be delivered at any time of the day as far as I'm concerned  sad24:

If only I could remember where you live  whistle:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Miss Demeanour on September 04, 2010, 09:34:27 AM
Miss D ...in the hobbit hole...Londonium  lol:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Uncle Mort on September 04, 2010, 09:42:17 AM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs2.postimage.org%2F22M0S.jpg&hash=bcea484567fdaaa5cb3eb2dd11af42660f2f2e0e) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Ts22M0S)
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Snoopy on September 04, 2010, 09:48:14 AM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs2.postimage.org%2F22M0S.jpg&hash=bcea484567fdaaa5cb3eb2dd11af42660f2f2e0e) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Ts22M0S)


 happy001 happy001 happy001
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 04, 2010, 10:37:38 AM
Flowers can be delivered at any time of the day as far as I'm concerned  sad24:

Wot she said. sad32:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 04, 2010, 10:38:41 AM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs2.postimage.org%2F22M0S.jpg&hash=bcea484567fdaaa5cb3eb2dd11af42660f2f2e0e) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Ts22M0S)


Love this am sore and aching but this made me giggle thanks Uncle. cloud9:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Snoopy on September 04, 2010, 11:33:54 AM
Flowers can be delivered at any time of the day as far as I'm concerned  sad24:

Wot she said. sad32:


Such a pity that I don't seem to have your address either  tunble:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Nick on September 04, 2010, 03:42:53 PM
It now turns out that the fooking flowers delivered bore no resemblance to those ordered!! Big Sis has blasted the suppliers ( scared2:) and they are sending more, free of charge, like.  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Barman on September 04, 2010, 03:49:41 PM
It now turns out that the fooking flowers delivered bore no resemblance to those ordered!! Big Sis has blasted the suppliers ( scared2:) and they are sending more, free of charge, like.  eveilgrin:

And why will nobody here find that surprising!  point:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Nick on September 04, 2010, 03:54:24 PM
 evil:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Roy Cropper on September 04, 2010, 08:06:45 PM
 Flowers and cards ...... A total waste of money and serve no purpose what so ever whacky115 . A bottle of malt is far more useful . At least it dulls the pain .
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Miss Demeanour on September 04, 2010, 08:07:34 PM
Depends what your after and from whom  eyes:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Pirate on September 04, 2010, 08:14:28 PM
Depends what your after and from whom  eyes:

'cough'

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-merv%2Frose.gif&hash=f6cbc0bd8900b3c961801fe2c22463975bf4d00a) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Miss Demeanour on September 04, 2010, 08:20:45 PM
 lol: lol: lol:


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.easyfreesmileys.com%2Fsmileys%2Ffree-sexy-smileys-941.gif&hash=f4f7c21ff0739d2177d27e61e42ed680cb60b31b) (http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/facebook-smileys.html)
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Pirate on September 04, 2010, 08:24:38 PM
lol: lol: lol:


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.easyfreesmileys.com%2Fsmileys%2Ffree-sexy-smileys-941.gif&hash=f4f7c21ff0739d2177d27e61e42ed680cb60b31b) (http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/facebook-smileys.html)

 ;D  cloud9:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 04, 2010, 09:19:29 PM
Flowers can be delivered at any time of the day as far as I'm concerned  sad24:

Wot she said. sad32:


Such a pity that I don't seem to have your address either  tunble:

Even I don't know my address at the moment. confused:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Pirate on September 04, 2010, 09:39:15 PM
I do

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzlG28B-R8Y
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 04, 2010, 10:28:57 PM
Can you let me have it then please?
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 04, 2010, 10:58:21 PM
Can you let me have it then please?
eeek:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 05, 2010, 12:08:35 AM
It now turns out that the fooking flowers delivered bore no resemblance to those ordered!! Big Sis has blasted the suppliers ( scared2:) and they are sending more, free of charge, like.  eveilgrin:

And why will nobody here find that surprising!  point:

Online order prolly, Sis is lucky she didn't end up with self raising...  whistle:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 05, 2010, 07:25:28 AM
Can you let me have it then please?
eeek:

 nonono: Naughty step Darwin, and so soon after your lovely birthday too. noooo:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Barman on September 05, 2010, 07:35:45 AM
Can you let me have it then please?
eeek:

 nonono: Naughty step Darwin, and so soon after your lovely birthday too. noooo:


You're going to need a bigger step soon Miss C...  ;D
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 05, 2010, 08:12:23 AM
 noooo: Can you imaging the virtual tangle that planning permission is going to cause?
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Barman on September 05, 2010, 09:09:22 AM
noooo: Can you imaging the virtual tangle that planning permission is going to cause?

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 05, 2010, 09:10:09 AM
noooo: Can you imaging the virtual tangle that planning permission is going to cause?

It will need wheelchair access as well these days
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Barman on September 05, 2010, 09:13:35 AM
noooo: Can you imaging the virtual tangle that planning permission is going to cause?

It will need wheelchair access as well these days

 lol: lol: lol:

And a big 'No Smoking' sign....
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Miss Demeanour on September 05, 2010, 09:37:35 AM
CCTV camera coverage  whistle:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Nick on September 05, 2010, 09:38:33 AM
ANd Miss C in an ill fitting PCSO uniform.
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Miss Demeanour on September 05, 2010, 09:39:36 AM
No Nick...that is your personal wish list . Please try to not get confused  ;)
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Nick on September 05, 2010, 09:40:06 AM
 redface:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Just One More on September 05, 2010, 11:42:39 AM
Not forgetting they will have to have anti-slip coating, handrails and the edges marked in a different colours. Long gone are the days of ten bricks and a 3' x 2' paving slab which are now 2 x 18" ones cos the old un's were too heavy  ::)
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Snoopy on September 05, 2010, 11:48:54 AM
Don't you miss the good old days?

 (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cartoonstock.com%2Fnewscartoons%2Fcartoonists%2Frma%2Flowres%2Frman8413l.jpg&hash=21ad0eda983ac790ccc62b79f3e3da83c9413d61)
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 05, 2010, 06:09:36 PM
The 'naughty ramp' just doesn't have the same ring to it somehow. noooo:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Miss Demeanour on September 05, 2010, 06:44:35 PM
Ramping up your naughtiness however  eyes:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 05, 2010, 06:57:17 PM
Ohh yes that could certainly be done... eyes:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Barman on September 06, 2010, 05:19:19 AM
Oh gawd...  noooo:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Nick on September 06, 2010, 09:25:03 AM
My sister recently moved house. SHe applied to BT three months ago for 2 landlines in her new house with the old numbers to be transferred (she runs a business from home). She lives 100 yards from the nearest BT "Operations Centre". They failed to turn up on three occasions and then told her they would have to dig her garden up to install the lines.  eeek: SHe asked why they couldn't just use the telegraph pole outside her house. No coherent response.

After a 2 month delay they have just offered her £24 compensation for "loss of business". SHe told them to "bollocks".  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 06, 2010, 09:44:41 AM
SHe told them to "bollocks". 

 rubschin:

I bollocks
Thou bollocksest
He, she or it bollocks

Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Miss Demeanour on September 06, 2010, 10:02:07 AM
Seems to be a common problem thats runs in the Nick family  whistle:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Snoopy on September 06, 2010, 10:14:43 AM
Seems to be a common problem that runs in the Nick family  whistle:


rubschin:  Aren't you supposed to be related to Nick?
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Nick on September 06, 2010, 10:18:51 AM
She is  cloud9:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 06, 2010, 10:44:01 AM
She is  cloud9:

So is:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthegroovini.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F05%2FORANG_UTAN_BABY_-md34P51716.jpg&hash=294e62b2531a296f50c969936348eb08f68edb20)
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Nick on September 06, 2010, 10:45:01 AM
Miss D also shares the family face.
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Miss Demeanour on September 06, 2010, 10:47:53 AM
 eeek:

 sad24:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Nick on September 06, 2010, 11:00:19 AM
But I like apes. I come from a long line of them myself!
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 06, 2010, 11:44:36 AM
Miss D also shares the family face.

Did you mean 'farce'?
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: barmisspah? on September 07, 2010, 11:02:38 AM
I must be a distant cousin of Nick then.

One Saturdayat the end of June our phone went dead, reported it the same day from my Mums phone. (Why do they always ask if you are ringing from the number !) Found out later that night that a couple of neighbours & the pub next door were also 'off'. Everybody else was back on Monday morning. After several telephone calls I mentioned the magic c word - compensation. I was then told that they had to dig up the cables to get us put back on, when I asked why as this didn't have to be done to get everyone else back on, they were unable to tell me. The following day 2 men with a mini-digger turned up & dug a hole about 1 ft square (with a shovel), filled it in & dissappeared again. By this time nealy a week had passed. I telephoned again & actually got someone who spoke English as his first language & who actually telephoned back when he said he would - be still my beating heart. We had Open Reach men all over the place for the next week, still unable to sort out the problem. Finally exactly 2 weeks after the fault was reported, a little Asian man arrived & asked what the problem was,he couldn't believe we'd been out for so long. He'd worked for Bt for 40 years & was just coming up to retirement, he said the company was falling apart. Anyway, he asked if he could come in and test the home phone, went out & checked the junction box acroos the road climbed the telegraph pole & hey presto 5 minutes later we were up & running. Aparently our cable had not been re-connected to the terminal when the repairs were first carried out. Explode: Explode:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Snoopy on September 07, 2010, 11:27:33 AM
Working on the six degrees of separation theory we are all in fact related to your tinted BT engineer. 8)
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 07, 2010, 11:34:54 AM
Working on the six degrees of separation theory we are all in fact related to your tinted BT engineer. 8)

Doesnt that theory also mean we are all related to Nick??  eeek:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Barman on September 07, 2010, 11:35:18 AM
Working on the six degrees of separation theory we are all in fact related to your tinted BT engineer. 8)

Doesnt that theory also mean we are all related to Nick??  eeek:

I was thinking that!  scared2:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Snoopy on September 07, 2010, 11:36:19 AM
Worrying isn't it?  surrender:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 07, 2010, 11:36:34 AM
Egad, related to Nick AND BM????  scared2:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Snoopy on September 07, 2010, 11:37:23 AM
Egad, related to Nick AND BM????  scared2:

Bald with a ginger fringe?  happy001
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Barman on September 07, 2010, 11:40:23 AM
 evil:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 07, 2010, 11:41:04 AM
Egad, related to Nick AND BM????  scared2:

Bald with a ginger fringe?  happy001

Friar Tuck stylee?  whistle:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Miss Demeanour on September 07, 2010, 11:45:04 AM
So we're all related ...that means none of us can get married and have children eh  rubschin:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 07, 2010, 11:49:25 AM
Only if you live outside of Norfolk Miss D  whistle:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Snoopy on September 07, 2010, 11:51:04 AM
So we're all related ...that means none of us can get married and have children eh  rubschin:


Doesn't mean we can't practice  eyes:



You know what they say "Vice is nice but incest is best"
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 07, 2010, 02:50:23 PM
So we're all related ...that means none of us can get married and have children eh  rubschin:

Excellent news,can I now have a refund oh and compensation for the stress, wear and tear of the last 26 years. rubschin:
Title: Re: Useless florists and other service types
Post by: Miss Demeanour on September 07, 2010, 06:57:40 PM
Might have to pay even more tax arrears though  rubschin: