The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: GROWLER on September 30, 2010, 09:27:57 AM
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cussing:
Fortunately, my regular waking pattern of every 2 hours has this morning saved my car from being stolen.
Sewer scrote came in through the back door that Mrs G had accidentaly left unlocked, and i hadn't checked upon my return from the pub to a dark house at midnight.
I was lying there cursing myself regarding this waking up every 2 hours nonsense, when I heard a noise outside.
Looked at my watch and it was 03:50.
Then I heard my car being started, and then stopping/stalling.
This happened about 5 times.
In a weary haze of confusion, I lept out of my pit, opened the widow just in time to see this 2 legged scrotum absolutely legging it down the road.
By the time I got dressed, he'd have been well away, but I was going looking anyway.
Shouted at Mrs G to ring the rozzers.
2 minutes into my search, the blue lights and sirens of 2 plodmobiles came towards me, so I hoped they were doing the same as me, and stopped them with a description of the bastard.
They were thankfully....what a rapid response! 10/10 plod!
We all went charging off in different directions.
20 minutes later, and after stopping to ask a window cleaner...i kid you not...and sevaral dog walkers, to ask if they'd seen 'twat', my phone rings.
Mrs G with the doziest question of the year.
" Have you got your phone with you?" lol:
"Plod are here and want to speak to you"
Whilst discovering that both Mrs G 's handbag and MM's school bag with all of her course work had been stolen, message comes through to say a twat had been cornered just half a mile away, taken down and bitten on the arm by the police wolfy, sweet, so sweet. cloud9:
Arrested on the suspicion of burglary and currently banged up awaiting interview
Scene of crime dept are on their way here to coat everything with silver dust to get the 'dabs to hopefully nail the rodent.
The very first time I've ever thanked Mrs G for parking the car in 'nose first', as I'm always moaning about the car not being reversed in, to make it easier and safer to exit in the mornings.
If it hadn't been for this good fortune, the car would have gone, no doubt about it, probably never to be seen again, and no doubt the insurance would have laughed in my face regarding any claim, cus the back door was left unlocked.
This morning the Growler household is very very very lucky indeed., AND WELL DONE PLOD AND WOLF!
cloud9:
I shall naturally be rewarding the local cop shop with a bag of the best doughnuts. angel1
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Did you mention anything about Mrs G being stopped for driving too slowly, like?
Pity the dog didn't eat the scrote rubschin:
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Excellent ending Growler!
Although scrote will prolly get a conditional discharge as he had a difficult childhood! Banghead
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Wow ....that is impressive eeek:
Well done you and the plod....!!!
In terms of excuses for not doing your homework....I wonder if they had a burglar stole my homework yet rubschin:
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Oh I used that excuse 50 odd years ago ~ got Spank2: for it too.
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I like a good-news story, well done all. ;D
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Excellent result!
were the stolen bags recovered?
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Excellent end to what could have been a disastrous night. razz:
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All a bit scary eeek: Don't suppose you have a shotgun licence? rubschin:
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Excellent result!
were the stolen bags recovered?
Yes. Contents scattered and found in our back garden and next doors very fortunately. Nothing taken, even though there was cash and credit/debit cards in there.
Rozzers reckon they were ONLY interested in the car keys, came back in and found them on a shelf in the back room.
Update, after a very long arduous extremely tiring and trying day.
Chummy was found NOT to be the culprit and was released this afternoon.
His 'very light beige ' jacket was brought 'round for me to identify.
It was two tone brown and striped. ::)
Forensic found 'glove prints' on the back door glass.
While all this shananagins was going on, and unbeknown to plod, another house was being broken into less than 2 miles away, exactly 1 hour after our break in.
Car keys were stolen, and the car was last seen on an ANPR camera just by our local motorway.
Obviously disappointed, but at least the sight of an angry bear hanging out of the bedroom window frightened the scumbag off, and my car is therefore still here...JUST, and by a whisker.
I'd probably never have seen it again if I hadn't been awake at the time.
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The scrote should still be hung (on suspicion, like)
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The scrote should still be hung (on suspicion, like)
I'd do it! ;D
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The scrote should still be hung (on suspicion, like)
He's known to the rozzers.
Been done for violent behaviour in the past apparently. scared2:
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Let me see. Aged about 17-19. Shaven head. Shell suit. Pit bull at home. Dad like a walrus. Mum with dyed jet black har and roots. Several more feral kids in the house.
Time for a shooting!
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Let me see. Aged about 17-19. Shaven head. Shell suit. Pit bull at home. Dad like a walrus. Mum with dyed jet black har and roots. Several more feral kids in the house.
Time for a shooting!
The CID went 'round to scrote#1 house this morning.
He's apparently been thrown out by his parents, and is currently 'living rough'.
I asked was it a seemingly respectable household that he comes from?
CID plods just laughed and shook their heads. noooo:
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Dunno why, as I'm no great pussy, but I am actually slightly on edge about this arse wipe coming back and trying his luck again tonight/tomorrow.
What is THAT all about ey? Shrugs:
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Dunno why, as I'm no great pussy, but I am actually slightly on edge about this arse wipe coming back and trying his luck again tonight/tomorrow.
What is THAT all about ey? Shrugs:
I felt the same when we were burgled and LL slept with a knife under her pillow for a while (I bought a baseball bat the day after the event)...
I did have a shotgun but it lived in pieces in a locked cabinet bolted to the wall in the prescribed manner in the back of a wardrobe... not entirely practical to unlock the gun cabinet, assemble and load in the dark while some scrote is climbing through your window...
To be honest, it was the last straw with the UK - we left later that year... noooo:
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This is interesting...
There is a company I work for on the sly when I need a bit of extra cash (and not being a public sector jobsworth, that can be quite often).
It usually involves sorting leaflets and catalogues and putting them in envelopes. Sometimes its data entry. Whatever they give me. it's always something I can do at home at weekend while having a beer and writing some pants blog post (or watching Star Trek).
I've got a new one this evening. It's opening letters rather than stuffing them. It's some kind of competition that people have entered, but I won't go into that.
My point is, I have a kick ass antique letter opener in the living room and it's making the job so much easier.
This is the first time I have used the letter opener to open letters. It's actually there for home defence.
Have you read any Geoff Thompson? If not. I recommend you do at your earlies opportunity. Particularly Watch My Back. His days as a bouncer in Coventry.
He is a martial arts instructor, and as a student of self defence (mainly in my earlier years), I have learned a lot from his books and DVDs. One of the things I have taken on board is the need to have a weapon in every room of the house. Not a shotgun or a combat knife. Just a household object that you could defend yourself with if someone broke in.
There is a huge can of hairspray with a one metre spray in the bathroom. There is a large Maglite torch on a clip by the front door. There is a heavy iron poker by the fireplace. You get the idea? Well there is also an antique letter opener in the living room. One that could do serios damage to a burglar, and that's why it's there, not for opening letters. Tonight is the first time I have used it for it's intended purpose, and that's what got me thinking.
I have worked in pubs, in many varied roles for years. During that time I have been in a lot of violent situations. Sometimes you worry that your actions may result in a visit from the police. Sometimes, something very subtle can be the difference between being a hero and spending a month on remand waiting for your trial.
I once went to a self defence cours run by the police for landlords. I remember the copper saying that if a punter pulled a knife on you, pulling your own knife and stabbing him with it will get you in prison. However, picking up a chair and wrapping it round his head will not.
It's the difference between using your own offensive weapon or using a random everyday object.
I've just got a shotgun licence and many of the bloggers already own guns. I would never consider shooting a burglar because I would be sent down for murder. Remember Tony Martin? Mt gun, when I get it will be for sport or a zombie holocaust.
If I did get attacked by an intruder I would mace him with hairspray or whach him with the torch. Then I wouldn't have a problem.
I also have a couple of police batons. One by the bed and one in the car. Mrs Bucko has a pepper spray in her handbag. These are for real emergencies because using them would put us in a lot of trouble.
The police carry a serious array of weapons on their batman utility belts. Baton, pepper spray and now, taser.
Their weapons are allowed because they are "defensive" weapons. If any member of the public has a weapon, be it a gun or a camping knife, it is always classed as an "offensive" weapon.
Every weapon I have just admitted to owning has never, ever (ever) not ever been used in anger. I would class that as defensive.
Pity we are not trusted to defend ourselves.
Source (http://fuelinjectedmoose.blogspot.com/)
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Yes. Very good article that, and mirrors some of my thoughts too tbh.
What gets me is that the rozzers can carry their 'defensive' weaponary, but we, the general sheeples cannot.
I find this bizzare.
I f some c*** is waving a gun or a knife at me, I want to be able to respond without hesitaion, and waste the twat, no conversing, general niceties and tittle tattle, just get it deleted before it has you.
I'll probably get prosecuted for even suggesting that now if a rozzer reads this. ::)
I asked the rozzer that attended my particular case, if I mcould have a pepper spray handy like, in case I was confromted by some undesirable and uninvited prick in the future.
Oh no no no no no no no. Classed as a firearm.
WHAT? eeek: noooo:
It cannot kill, so wtf is the actual problem ey.
Used to protect yourself, then I really cannot see a problem.
Start waving it around for a 'laugh' ::), then face the consequences and punishment accordingly. Simple
Any'ow, some good advice in that article, and I'm, taking notes.
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Get a bloody nasty dog and train it to rip scrotums off on command.Problem solved all for a few tins of "chappie" I'm sure some sink estate estate dweller would sell you a inbred pitbull or summin ? Ask some of your neighbours ;)
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Alternatively ..... set the wife on them.