The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on October 15, 2010, 11:31:52 AM

Title: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Nick on October 15, 2010, 11:31:52 AM
1. Use teeny weeny screwdriver to bleed bathroom radiator.

Powerful jet of hot black water sprays over me, wall, bath and bathmat.  evil:

2. Remove large spherical glass lampshade to replace bulb and to remove dust and dead flies. Put it in circular washing up bowl and fill with water.

Lampshade and bowl are now friends for life and cannot be separated  evil:

3. Pour drain unblocky stuff down shower drain. Do NOT read instructions. FOOK ME  eeek:

Have volcano in bathroom  evil:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Barman on October 15, 2010, 11:39:04 AM
You make us larf like Nick!  lol:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Nick on October 15, 2010, 12:03:05 PM
And the superglue was, as ever, a mistake  cussing:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Barman on October 15, 2010, 12:04:07 PM
And the superglue was, as ever, a mistake  cussing:

Thumb and index finger...?
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Snoopy on October 15, 2010, 12:04:43 PM
And the superglue was, as ever, a mistake  cussing:

It always is mate

Good luck with the new flat. I am still sure it was the best thing to do.
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Nick on October 15, 2010, 12:20:14 PM
And the superglue was, as ever, a mistake  cussing:

Thumb and index finger...?

I got interrupted by my sofa delivery men and when I came back to the task found I had glued one of those corner of the shower soap holdery things to my toilet seat  Angry9:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Pastis on October 15, 2010, 12:27:38 PM
All part of the joys of moving house  ;D   

It'll turn out fine in the end  happy088
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Barman on October 15, 2010, 12:41:06 PM
And the superglue was, as ever, a mistake  cussing:

Thumb and index finger...?

I got interrupted by my sofa delivery men and when I came back to the task found I had glued one of those corner of the shower soap holdery things to my toilet seat  Angry9:

 lol: lol: lol:

You'll be fine...

Remember, by the inch it is a cinch, by the yard it is hard....  ;)

No charge for these fine werds of advice like...  whistle:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Nick on October 16, 2010, 10:20:02 PM
Time to get the washer on. Put clothes and soap[ in and turn knobs randomly. Clothes come out hot, dry and covered in dry soap.

No one told me it had a tumble dryer too  cussing:

Note to self: read manual  scared2:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Snoopy on October 17, 2010, 08:13:46 AM

You tit!  lol:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: GROWLER on October 17, 2010, 08:16:00 AM
Time to get the washer on. Put clothes and soap[ in and turn knobs randomly. Clothes come out hot, dry and covered in dry soap.

No one told me it had a tumble dryer too  cussing:

Note to self: read manual  scared2:

Yea, right.  ::)
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 18, 2010, 01:57:56 PM
And the superglue was, as ever, a mistake  cussing:

Thumb and index finger...?

Useless fact of the day #462 Superglue was originally designed for patching up injured soldiers, that's why it sticks your fingers together far moore wasily than whatever it was you broke this time Nick.  whistle:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Barman on October 18, 2010, 02:16:59 PM
And the superglue was, as ever, a mistake  cussing:

Thumb and index finger...?

Useless fact of the day #462 Superglue was originally designed for patching up injured soldiers, that's why it sticks your fingers together far moore wasily than whatever it was you broke this time Nick.  whistle:

moore wasily?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Snoopy on October 18, 2010, 02:43:08 PM
Hawaaaayyy ~ It's Geordie speak Bonny Lad!
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Barman on October 18, 2010, 02:49:56 PM
Hawaaaayyy ~ It's Geordie speak Bonny Lad!

I thought it was the Emperor in "The Life of Brian"

Welease woger!  lol:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Nick on October 29, 2010, 10:17:17 AM
So, anyhoo, last night I had to fiddle about a bit with the boiler in order to repressurise it, like. Unfortunately I OVER pressurised it which made it emit some banging noises  scared2:

It seemed to have vented the excess this morning so all was well  cloud9:

Regrettably, however, it had vented excess water directly into my new toaster, something I only discovered when making some toast. SO that blew the circuit breakers AND caused a big shower of sparks and a bang.

Top tip: do not use your toaster when it is half full of water

I may take it back to the shop  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Snoopy on October 29, 2010, 10:34:29 AM


Oh Nick!  noooo:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Barman on October 29, 2010, 10:37:02 AM
LL has one of those boilers you have to pressurise where she is staying in Epsom... I must be sure to warn her...  whistle:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Snoopy on October 29, 2010, 11:00:52 AM
Nick may find this site useful ..... tho' it doesn't mention toasters.

http://www.ultimatehandyman.co.uk/TOPPING_UP_A_COMBI_BOILER.htm
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Barman on October 29, 2010, 11:15:27 AM
Isn't the Intermong wonderful!  cloud9:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Snoopy on October 29, 2010, 11:25:56 AM

Indeed ~ even a video to show the terminally inept how to follow the written instructions.  ::)
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Nick on October 29, 2010, 11:33:14 AM
 evil:

Anyhoo, I took the toaster back and complained and they gave me a new one  cloud9:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Snoopy on October 29, 2010, 11:34:04 AM

You told them porkies  nonono:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Nick on October 29, 2010, 11:37:17 AM
No.  I told them it had blown up. angel1
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Barman on October 29, 2010, 11:39:16 AM
evil:

Anyhoo, I took the toaster back and complained and they gave me a new one  cloud9:

Tsk, tsk...  noooo:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Nick on October 30, 2010, 01:46:29 PM
Not going well today  noooo:

Manouevring out of the car park I managed to smash my front nearside wing on a stone wall  cussing:  Quick left hand down a bit and hit reverse and smashed the offside passenger door into the wall on the other side.  sad24:  All this witnessed by laydee neighbour upstairs who gave me a look  redface:

Just got back to find I have also smashed the remote sensor for the gate opening mechanism so the gate is now permanently open  noooo:

Have had to call ADT out to fix it  sad32:

Wonder if I can claim this on my insurance?
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Barman on October 30, 2010, 02:16:28 PM
You have been repaid by the toaster god!  scared2:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Nick on October 30, 2010, 02:17:45 PM
Seems I can claim for the gate but have to pay £400 excess if I get my car fixed  sad32:  I have stopped looking at my car  noooo:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 30, 2010, 02:18:11 PM
Not going well today  noooo:

Manouevring out of the car park I managed to smash my front nearside wing on a stone wall  cussing:  Quick left hand down a bit and hit reverse and smashed the offside passenger door into the wall on the other side.  sad24:  All this witnessed by laydee neighbour upstairs who gave me a look  redface:

Just got back to find I have also smashed the remote sensor for the gate opening mechanism so the gate is now permanently open  noooo:

Have had to call ADT out to fix it  sad32:

Wonder if I can claim this on my insurance?

You can see the neighbours petition taking form as we type  whistle:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Nick on October 30, 2010, 02:22:21 PM
 sad32: sad32: sad32:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Barman on October 30, 2010, 02:25:59 PM
Not going well today  noooo:

Manouevring out of the car park I managed to smash my front nearside wing on a stone wall  cussing:  Quick left hand down a bit and hit reverse and smashed the offside passenger door into the wall on the other side.  sad24:  All this witnessed by laydee neighbour upstairs who gave me a look  redface:

Just got back to find I have also smashed the remote sensor for the gate opening mechanism so the gate is now permanently open  noooo:

Have had to call ADT out to fix it  sad32:

Wonder if I can claim this on my insurance?

You can see the neighbours petition taking form as we type  whistle:

Did they not send you a copy...? I've already signed it and sent it back....  whistle:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 30, 2010, 02:27:06 PM
 lol: lol: lol:

Have you used all your aliases ?
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Nick on October 30, 2010, 02:31:21 PM
 sad32: sad32: sad32:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Barman on October 30, 2010, 02:32:57 PM
lol: lol: lol:

Have you used all your aliases ?

yes...  redface:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Nick on October 30, 2010, 02:35:33 PM
AND NOW, AND NOW I have a mahoosive infestation of fooking ladybirds who are having some kind of clusterfuck on my ceiling. What is that about? I am about to try to hoover them off  cussing:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Barman on October 30, 2010, 02:37:27 PM
AND NOW, AND NOW I have a mahoosive infestation of fooking ladybirds who are having some kind of clusterfuck on my ceiling. What is that about? I am about to try to hoover them off  cussing:

Did you get the hoover from the same shop as the toaster?  whistle:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 30, 2010, 02:38:56 PM
Well your prayers have been answered ...you have an orgy of ladies and birds in your  flat  whistle:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Nick on October 30, 2010, 02:40:07 PM
 Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 30, 2010, 02:56:24 PM
AND NOW, AND NOW I have a mahoosive infestation of fooking ladybirds who are having some kind of clusterfuck on my ceiling. What is that about? I am about to try to hoover them off  cussing:

Prepare for an infestation of greenfly once you have removed the ladybirds that were eating them  whistle:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Barman on October 30, 2010, 02:58:22 PM
AND NOW, AND NOW I have a mahoosive infestation of fooking ladybirds who are having some kind of clusterfuck on my ceiling. What is that about? I am about to try to hoover them off  cussing:

Prepare for an infestation of greenfly once you have removed the ladybirds that were eating them  whistle:

And a gubbed hoover...  whistle:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Nick on October 30, 2010, 03:16:14 PM
Well hoovering the ladybirds swarm of the ceiling worked a treat  eveilgrin:

Mind you, they are now breeding inside the hoover  scared2:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Barman on October 30, 2010, 03:49:51 PM
Well hoovering the ladybirds swarm of the ceiling worked a treat  eveilgrin:

Mind you, they are now breeding inside the hoover  scared2:


And a gubbed hoover...  whistle:

 whistle:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Nick on October 30, 2010, 03:51:35 PM
I am going to set fire to the hoover bag, like  angel1
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Pastis on October 30, 2010, 03:54:14 PM
Well hoovering the ladybirds swarm of the ceiling worked a treat  eveilgrin:

Mind you, they are now breeding inside the hoover  scared2:

I do the same with flour moths  rubschin:
Title: Re: Getting in A BIT OF A PICKLE
Post by: Barman on October 30, 2010, 04:20:08 PM
I am going to set fire to the hoover bag, like  angel1


And a gubbed hoover...  whistle:

 whistle: