The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Comedy Room => Topic started by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2011, 10:16:50 PM

Title: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2011, 10:16:50 PM
I know he is getting shed loads of coverage at the moment but some of his quotes are priceless. Regardless of how f**ed up he is  noooo:

“I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars.”

“I was banging seven-gram rocks, because that’s how I roll.  I have one speed, I have one gear: Go.”

“Can’t is the cancer of happening.”

“I am on a drug, it’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

“The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them look like droopy-eyed armless children.”

“I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words — imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.”

“I will not believe that if I do something then I have to follow a certain path because it was written for normal people. People who aren’t special. People who don’t have tiger blood and Adonis DNA.”

“If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you’d be like, ‘Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard!’ “It fires in a way that’s maybe not from, uh… this terrestrial realm.”

“If you love with violence and you hate with violence there is nothing that can be questioned.”

“The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning,” “Just winning every second,” “Winning, anyone?” “Duh, winning!”

“[CBS] picked a fight with a warlock"
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Nick on March 03, 2011, 10:18:15 PM
The word "bonkers" occurs to me for some reason
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2011, 10:20:10 PM
That's cos you don't have tiger blood and adonis DNA obviously  lol:
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: apc2010 on March 03, 2011, 10:20:38 PM
Whatever he does/says ..................He's getting about a million dollars an episode ............AND sleeping with 2 ..yes 2 women in the same bed ...

 worthy: worthy:
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2011, 10:25:51 PM
But you get overheated with just a few rays from the yellow ball. With the additional body heat of 2 women taking up space in your sleep sack you would be completely dehydrated by morning  whistle:
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: apc2010 on March 03, 2011, 10:29:43 PM
But you get overheated with just a few rays from the yellow ball. With the additional body heat of 2 women taking up space in your sleep sack you would be completely dehydrated by morning  whistle:


My sack would be completely dehydrated by morning ..............????????????
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Nick on March 03, 2011, 10:32:48 PM
And then two wimmin bossing you about the next day  noooo:
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: apc2010 on March 03, 2011, 10:35:23 PM
And then two wimmin bossing you about the next day  noooo:

No......He's got it made ..........one is a nanny ...the other a porn star ... Drool:
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Nick on March 03, 2011, 10:40:37 PM
 rubschin:

That sounds OK. All he needs now is a cook

NIGELLA!!
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2011, 10:42:02 PM
 One knackers him out the other looks after him

he shares with his two girlfriends - adult film actress Rachel Oberlin and rehab nurse Natalie Kenly

They said :
Quote
"Our bed is big enough for all three of us, and we take turns sleeping in the middle. [But] if someone’s really tired, there’s always a place for them to sleep in peace. Rachel and I aren’t really very jealous... and anyway, when Charlie’s busy, I have someone to hang out with."

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblog.zap2it.com%2Fpop2it%2Fcharlie-sheen-girlfriends-2020.jpg&hash=66ef72a992fb47cb8cab6961df37cf542be45bbf)
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: apc2010 on March 03, 2011, 10:45:51 PM
One knackers him out the other looks after him

he shares with his two girlfriends - adult film actress Rachel Oberlin and rehab nurse Natalie Kenly

They said :
Quote
"Our bed is big enough for all three of us, and we take turns sleeping in the middle. [But] if someone’s really tired, there’s always a place for them to sleep in peace. Rachel and I aren’t really very jealous... and anyway, when Charlie’s busy, I have someone to hang out with."

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblog.zap2it.com%2Fpop2it%2Fcharlie-sheen-girlfriends-2020.jpg&hash=66ef72a992fb47cb8cab6961df37cf542be45bbf)


Again  worthy: worthy:

and gets wasted everyday and his bosses stop his work .........till he is ready  .......
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Nick on March 03, 2011, 10:47:41 PM
I know a good clinic
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 04, 2011, 07:28:18 AM
A sleep clinic ?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Uncle Mort on March 04, 2011, 07:55:43 AM
Charlie Sheen Quotes As New Yorker Cartoons (http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/charlie-sheen-quotes-as-new-yorker-cartoons)
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Snoopy on March 04, 2011, 08:08:53 AM
Methinks we need an "Up Their Own Arse" corner. What a dildo!
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 04, 2011, 10:14:46 AM
It just proves that not all Nicks ancesters got on the Titanic.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Uncle Mort on March 05, 2011, 10:26:46 AM
He had only one ancestor on board ~ the lookout  ;)
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Barman on March 05, 2011, 10:40:51 AM
He had only one ancestor on board ~ the lookout  ;)

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Nick on March 05, 2011, 10:42:07 AM
I think that honour ackchooly goes to the hound  whistle:
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Snoopy on March 05, 2011, 10:44:53 AM
You're right Nick ~ I did have an ancestor on the Titanic .... and he survived.



Oh and Uncle ... He was a sous chef.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Nick on March 05, 2011, 10:47:25 AM
Souses are a food of wrongness  noooo:
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Snoopy on March 05, 2011, 10:55:32 AM
Souses are a food of wrongness  noooo:


Dunderhead!  cussing:

http://www.reluctantgourmet.com/sous_chef.htm
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 05, 2011, 11:52:24 AM
Souses are a food of wrongness  noooo:

'Scousers' is the regular spelling.
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: apc2010 on March 09, 2011, 11:45:16 PM
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take.............???



Enough to kill Two and a Half Men...........
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Baldy on March 09, 2011, 11:48:06 PM
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take.............???



Enough to kill Two and a Half Men...........

 lol: lol:
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: apc2010 on March 14, 2011, 05:45:16 PM
Now Charlie Sheen has been sacked from two and a half men .........

I reckon they could re-cast with the top gear team ........ rubschin:
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Snoopy on March 15, 2011, 09:06:31 AM
Found his Dad in the kitchen cupboard yesterday, behind some dusters

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aquaesuliswatercoolers.com%2Fcatalog%2Fimages%2FMr%2520Sheen%2520Polish.jpg&hash=f8e6b1935651404ed77c7915ca85fdd4a9b74ccd)
Title: Re: Charlie Sheen
Post by: Pirate on March 18, 2011, 09:47:02 PM
Just watching Two and Half Men on Comedy Central... happy001 happy001...priceless...shame it's gonna end...