The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: The Moan Ranger on July 28, 2011, 02:54:38 AM

Title: Nightmare
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 28, 2011, 02:54:38 AM
As you know I am staying at my brothers, while he is on holiday.

There was a knock on the door at 12.20 and stupidly I opened it. Three hooded men burst in, smashed me over the head pinned me down with a knife to my throat and then ransacked the house.

I've just got back from hospital and the police are gathering evidence. The house is trashed.
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Baldy on July 28, 2011, 03:05:48 AM
Feck Moi.  eeek: eeek:

Not really having a lot of luck at the moment.
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 28, 2011, 05:04:39 AM
OMG ! Times 2 this week !!!

Are you ok?  ....how much trauma can 1 person cope with in 1 week  eeek:

Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Snoopy on July 28, 2011, 05:06:55 AM
What an exciting life you lead!  eeek:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 28, 2011, 05:21:48 AM
We are going to have to organise a round the clock VP  personal security service to ensure your safety until the end of this dire week  noooo:




Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 28, 2011, 05:38:36 AM
Nine stitches in my head, otherwise fine - just shaken.
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 28, 2011, 05:41:55 AM
How long did you leave the dog alone for this time ??? lol:

and presumably it's bark was worse than it's bite .... ;)
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Snoopy on July 28, 2011, 05:43:25 AM
9 More stitches eh? You must look like a fecking tapestry!  noooo:

Do take more care (or more water with it) fella.
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 28, 2011, 05:43:38 AM
The bloody dogs ran upstairs and hid under a bed. Bastards!
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 28, 2011, 05:44:26 AM
No loyalty with mutts these days  noooo:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Snoopy on July 28, 2011, 05:47:13 AM
Did they take much or just trash the place?

What colour were they?

Wot's your brother say?
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Just One More on July 28, 2011, 05:52:38 AM
You're having helluva week TMR. Hate to say it, but they come in threes
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 28, 2011, 05:53:22 AM
There's more to come!  eeek:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 28, 2011, 05:55:32 AM
They took my laptop, my brother's laptop, smashed the safe off the wall and took that - I haven't been into my brothers bedroom yet, but I assume all the wife's jewellry has gone. And more - don't know what though, it's not my house. 
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 28, 2011, 05:56:38 AM
All 3 were black - bruv doesn't know yet.
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 28, 2011, 05:58:03 AM
No more to come ...I think he's had enough bad luck and misfortune  for all of us noooo:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Snoopy on July 28, 2011, 06:03:58 AM
He ain't gonna be happy .... and I guess his missus will have hysterics.  noooo:


Still so long as you're ok.
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 28, 2011, 06:06:31 AM
Just checked their bedroom - trashed. Also checked my 16 year old nephew's - can't tell if it's been trashed or not!
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 28, 2011, 06:08:37 AM
Don't think his new house sitting business has much longevity about it  lol:

I'm sure his bruv & SIL will just be relieved he is ok .....after all it easily could have been them  noooo:.

 It also could have been much worse. Absolute scum like that don't give a f***. Bastards  evil:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 28, 2011, 06:36:18 AM
 eeek: Good grief man what is it with you and mis-haps. Another traumatic experience for you, glad you are OK though. happy100
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Just One More on July 28, 2011, 06:42:35 AM
psst Miss C - I think TMR and Miss-Haps were trying to keep it quiet
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on July 28, 2011, 07:10:49 AM
 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Nick on July 28, 2011, 07:27:56 AM
Bloody hell  eeek:

What else can possibly go wrong?
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: GROWLER on July 28, 2011, 08:10:17 AM
Just checked their bedroom - trashed. Also checked my 16 year old nephew's - can't tell if it's been trashed or not!

 lol:

When's the feature filum due out then?  whistle:

Glad you're ok.
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 28, 2011, 08:31:09 AM
 eeek: It has certainly been a week to remember, bad luck old chap.

Did they say 'Hello again Mr TMR' in Casualty?


I never thought I would say this, but you might be safer in Nottingham for a while.  scared2:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Nick on July 28, 2011, 08:34:07 AM
 scared2:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Barman on July 28, 2011, 10:23:24 AM
 eeek:

Bloody hell TMR - you need a break in the sunshine mate...  ;)
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Pastis on July 28, 2011, 10:45:09 AM
 eeek:   "................................"
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 28, 2011, 11:05:29 AM
They were definitely after the cars - after they pinned me down they kept asking for the keys - but I had no idea where they were.

Then they went though the house. When they found the safe it was knife in throat time again asking for the combination. I don't know it!

Eventually they smashed it off the wall and that's when they left.

Bruv has now been informed - he's back midnight Saturday and guess who will probably be unloading his bags  8)
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Nick on July 28, 2011, 11:06:56 AM
Um, how did bruv take it, like  scared2:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: apc2010 on July 28, 2011, 11:07:38 AM
What a week............ eeek:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Barman on July 28, 2011, 11:11:49 AM
What a week............ eeek:

And it is only Thursday! Popcorn:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 28, 2011, 11:14:52 AM
Um, how did bruv take it, like  scared2:

He was very quiet - don't think it's really hit home yet.
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 28, 2011, 11:24:34 AM
Um, how did bruv take it, like  scared2:

He was very quiet - don't think it's really hit home yet.

Secretly glad you were there and not him and Mrs Bruv I expect.
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: apc2010 on July 28, 2011, 11:26:00 AM
At least with TMR we know they are not just tall stories..... whistle:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Barman on July 28, 2011, 11:26:25 AM
At least with TMR we know they are not just tall stories..... whistle:

 drumroll:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: GROWLER on July 28, 2011, 12:11:35 PM
At least with TMR we know they are not just tall stories..... whistle:

Heaven forbid like, but could you just imagine the tale if it had happened to Nick?!! eeek:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Nick on July 28, 2011, 12:15:20 PM
And when are you arriving anyway. This CAKE is getting a bit tempting  whistle:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: GROWLER on July 28, 2011, 12:16:09 PM
Did I ever tell you about Growler Towers being breached last October when brain dead Billy broke in and searched the place downstairs until he found the keys to me car, but me then fortunately dsiturbing the spotty oinky life wasting twat as he was trying to escape in it. Angry9:
Took one look at me and gave it fast toes down the road. evil:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Nick on July 28, 2011, 12:16:56 PM
Perfectly understandable  angel1
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: GROWLER on July 28, 2011, 12:17:01 PM
And when are you arriving anyway. This CAKE is getting a bit tempting  whistle:

If it's still flourless, you can 'ave it. sick2:

Don't be trying to palm off other weird food stuffs on me either you eejit.

I like basic simple edible tasty filling grub. cloud9:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Nick on July 28, 2011, 12:23:34 PM
There is a mhoosive cottage pie awaiting you, summer puddings and of course the BBQ  angel1
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 28, 2011, 12:27:03 PM
At least with TMR we know they are not just tall stories..... whistle:

Heaven forbid like, but could you just imagine the tale if it had happened to Nick?!! eeek:

He would have stood too near the platform edge and been sucked off when the train went past.
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Nick on July 28, 2011, 12:30:35 PM
 eeek:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Snoopy on July 28, 2011, 12:31:40 PM
Drops trousers and shouts "Come ON Train!"
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 28, 2011, 12:32:34 PM
Drops trousers and shouts "Come ON Train!"

Lisa/Rastus joke. Circa 1965  ;)
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 28, 2011, 12:33:44 PM
Um, how did bruv take it, like  scared2:

He was very quiet - don't think it's really hit home yet.

Not much of the home left to hit surely  scared2:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Snoopy on July 28, 2011, 12:34:52 PM
Drops trousers and shouts "Come ON Train!"

Lisa/Rastus joke. Circa 1965  ;)


That's the one!!  happy088
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 28, 2011, 01:44:15 PM
Um, how did bruv take it, like  scared2:

He was very quiet - don't think it's really hit home yet.

Not much of the home left to hit surely  scared2:

Just found out that the safe they stole contained a spare set of front door keys...
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Nick on July 28, 2011, 01:50:08 PM
Insurance company will pay for lock changes. Get on the job quick!!
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 28, 2011, 01:55:33 PM
Insurance company will pay for lock changes. Get on the job quick!!

It's in hand.
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Nick on July 28, 2011, 02:10:28 PM
Meanwhile, you could untrash the 16 year old boy's bedroom. Top tip: wear gloves and breathing apparatus
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: GROWLER on July 28, 2011, 05:57:46 PM
Um, how did bruv take it, like  scared2:

He was very quiet - don't think it's really hit home yet.

Not much of the home left to hit surely  scared2:

Just found out that the safe they stole contained a spare set of front door keys...

A safe, JUST to store spare front door keys in?  confused:

Souns like a Nickism to me that.
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Snoopy on July 29, 2011, 09:23:37 AM
Um, how did bruv take it, like  scared2:

He was very quiet - don't think it's really hit home yet.

Not much of the home left to hit surely  scared2:

Just found out that the safe they stole contained a spare set of front door keys...

A safe, JUST to store spare front door keys in?  confused:

Souns like a Nickism to me that.

I don't think he said "Just to store the spare front door keys in"  noooo:

Seems to me to be an obvious place to keep spare car and door keys safely ... along with passports, insurance docs, jewellery and other valuables.
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 29, 2011, 11:02:58 AM
Seems I didn't hoover up all the broken glass, as my right foot can now testifty to  evil:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 29, 2011, 11:08:49 AM
 happy100

Bet you can't wait for this week to be over  noooo:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 29, 2011, 11:11:37 AM
happy100

Bet you can't wait for this week to be over  noooo:

Indeed. I always said rent week crippled me!
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 29, 2011, 11:20:22 AM
No laughing at the shaved head!


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3.postimage.org%2F1acymxhc4%2FSnapshot_20110729.jpg&hash=74d1bfc4334f63c1f88cdefbd68e7315ed6d376d) (http://postimage.org/image/1acymxhc4/)
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 29, 2011, 11:22:53 AM
 eeek:

Ouch !
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 29, 2011, 12:07:06 PM
eeek:

Ouch !

Wot she sed. eeek:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Nick on July 29, 2011, 12:32:51 PM
 eeek:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: barmisspah? on July 29, 2011, 02:36:34 PM
You poor bugger, at least with you around the rest of us are safe.
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Just One More on July 29, 2011, 04:07:38 PM
Has the dog re-emerged yet  rubschin:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: GROWLER on July 29, 2011, 06:51:48 PM
No laughing at the shaved head!


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3.postimage.org%2F1acymxhc4%2FSnapshot_20110729.jpg&hash=74d1bfc4334f63c1f88cdefbd68e7315ed6d376d) (http://postimage.org/image/1acymxhc4/)

Bit o' T Cut'll soon sort that out.
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: apc2010 on July 29, 2011, 11:04:52 PM
Admin......... is he on my bingo card ........... rubschin:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Barman on July 30, 2011, 05:15:51 AM
Admin......... is he on my bingo card ........... rubschin:
No, he is on mine tho....  cloud9:







Now...  redface:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 30, 2011, 06:45:09 AM
It's no surprise none of us are in any of the caring professions is it  noooo:
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 30, 2011, 11:17:29 AM
It's no surprise none of us are in any of the caring professions is it  noooo:

Isn't Nick taking Growler caving?
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Snoopy on July 30, 2011, 11:23:57 AM
It's no surprise none of us are in any of the caring professions is it  noooo:

Isn't Nick taking Growler caving?

I believe that was the plan but which one is looking after the other isn't clear.
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 31, 2011, 02:52:12 PM
And now the swelling - I look like a bleedin' Klingon!
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Pastis on July 31, 2011, 02:57:16 PM
Prolly a good thing you're not in front line customer service   happy100
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 31, 2011, 02:59:02 PM
Bet no one troubles you at the moment though eh  ;)
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 31, 2011, 03:13:59 PM
And now the swelling - I look like a bleedin' Klingon!

Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam
Title: Re: Nightmare
Post by: The Moan Ranger on August 02, 2011, 11:11:30 AM
No "recognised" fingerprints have been found.

However, when I unpacked my bag yesterday I found my BlackBerry charger. Then I found a Nokia charger. No-one in that house has a Nokia. Wonder if one of the burglars dropped it?