THE CAT
(You Don't Have To Own A Cat To Appreciate This One!)
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party . We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard .
We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi . The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house . The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house . We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird .
My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat . The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit . Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night . So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother . "
A few minutes later, I get into the cab . "Sorry I took so long," I said, as we drove away . "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed . Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck . Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me . But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"
The cab driver hit a parked car . . .
