nick's Holiday Disasters Thread

[Barman]

All nice and ready like 

[Nick]

Only three incidents to be reported on in detail: food, car and police

Tomorrow from aproper keuboard like

[Barman]

I’ve increased the bandwidth on the server for this thread to cope with the extra load… 

[Nick]

On Thursday morning we had to pop into the University of Seville en route to Cadiz. For the opera buffs amongst you it happens to be housed in the Old Tobacco Factory (Growler and other non opera types can forget this bit).

Having no map at all we were relying on memory and intuition to get there and got completely lost. Mrs Nick spotted a young policement lounging by his squad car and we stopped to ask for directions. He was most gallant and intrigued by these English visitors. He asked where we were from. "Los Beatles! Liverpool! Wayne Rooney" and other shite. He then offered to lead us to the University and asked us to follow him. He got into his car with a gallant swagger and pulled away.

As we got into the dense traffic (he knew we were late) he gallantly switched on his flashing lights and siren. The traffic parted and we hurtled after him at about 60. Thew Boy was bouncing around yelling "This is fun"

It was only after we had jumped the third red light and had gone tyre-squalingly round many corners with pedestrians jumping for safety that we noticed his wild gesticulations and realised that he had been called to an armed robbery or simliar, that we weren't meant to be breaking all the traffic laws at high speed and that, in any case, he was going nowhere near the University...........

Sweaty

[Pastis]

    Splendid!

and Carmen was a cigarette seller IIRC

[GROWLER]

On Thursday morning we had to pop into the University of Seville en route to Cadiz. For the opera buffs amongst you it happens to be housed in the Old Tobacco Factory (Growler and other non opera types can forget this bit).

Good to see you know me SO well.
Opera?
SHITE.
OK?

[Nick]

Food.

On the day of departure I was instructed to make snacks for the journey. I obeyed. I put various delicious foodstuffs into a bag for the plane and subsequent car journey.

Mrs Nick then downloaded the remaining perishables from teh fridge into a bag to give to the MIL - courgettes, a cucumber, some spuds, 2 carrots, some eggs and 2 pints of milk, oh and some mushrooms.

We raced to the MILs, hurled the baggage into the waiting taxi and set off. We checked in and went straight through security. They x-rayed the bags and then summoned Mrs Nick to a side table. The security guy asked her what she was doing with a cucumber in her baggage. He waved it suggestively. (Mrs Nick =  )

The MIL enjoyed the delicious snacks and we emptied the contents of the fridge into a bin. Mrs Nick then found the bottle of Maple Syrup which she had brought back from Canada for the MIL. We couldn't take it on the plane and she didn't want to thrwo it away, so she paid £4 to leave it at the airport pending our return. When we got back the left luggagey place was shut, so now I have to drive to the airport, retrieve the world's most expensive bottle of maple syrup (car parking £2 + mileage + tunnel tolls) and deliver it to the MIL (who doesn't like Maple Syrup anyway).

We had to buy Easyjet snacks at vast expense on the plane.