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Quote from: Snoopy on August 19, 2007, 09:43:21 AMQuote from: Bouncer on August 19, 2007, 06:12:21 AMQuote from: Barman on August 18, 2007, 07:40:40 PMMake it Bishop's Finger and I may be over myself......in fact, I will be over on October 5th Just can't keep away can you Running out of cheddar, bacon or HP sauce?It'll be marmite he's after.Well you can tell me ~ I won't breath a word to the others. Nope!
Quote from: Bouncer on August 19, 2007, 06:12:21 AMQuote from: Barman on August 18, 2007, 07:40:40 PMMake it Bishop's Finger and I may be over myself......in fact, I will be over on October 5th Just can't keep away can you Running out of cheddar, bacon or HP sauce?It'll be marmite he's after.Well you can tell me ~ I won't breath a word to the others.
Quote from: Barman on August 18, 2007, 07:40:40 PMMake it Bishop's Finger and I may be over myself......in fact, I will be over on October 5th Just can't keep away can you Running out of cheddar, bacon or HP sauce?
Make it Bishop's Finger and I may be over myself......in fact, I will be over on October 5th
Quote from: Barman on August 19, 2007, 10:33:46 AMQuote from: Snoopy on August 19, 2007, 09:43:21 AMQuote from: Bouncer on August 19, 2007, 06:12:21 AMQuote from: Barman on August 18, 2007, 07:40:40 PMMake it Bishop's Finger and I may be over myself......in fact, I will be over on October 5th Just can't keep away can you Running out of cheddar, bacon or HP sauce?It'll be marmite he's after.Well you can tell me ~ I won't breath a word to the others. Nope!
So the time of year has come whereby I will be off to sunnier climes for the traditional fortnight of sun, sea and diarrhoea.As usual I have timed it perfection in that the sun has recently made itself known once more here following the recent monsoon season, so I will doubtless miss what is laughably called "the British Summer". Come Friday night, I will be herded through Gatwick South like a sheep going to the abattoir in a place resembling a scene from Dawn of the Dead. I will be standing, cheek by jowel with various horrors - all coughing, snotting, farting, staring into space and listening to some detritus on the iPod/MP3 thingies. When we finally get to the front of the Check-In queue, the uninterested attendant will ask me to put our bags on the weighing device and it is at this point, they can give you their sanctimonious stare when they proudly declare that you have exceeded the 15kg limit per person. Now, I ask you - 15kgs! The weight of my PG Tips tea bags, Fray Bentos meat pies and Suntan lotion probably comes to about that, before we even start considering my Speedos, sandals and white socks. But that's the limit, because some chinless wonder further up the scale thinks that reducing the weight may save a few trees. Well excuse me, but that is bollo*. If I were to turn around in the queue I will doubtless see all manner of human dustbins, sweating profusely and each weighing the same as a small terraced house. How about having a maximum weight limit for the people flying?! Surely that's fairer - say 100kg for passenger and luggage combined? Think of the benefits - the anorexic models can take bags and bags of Chanel, Dior, Karen Millen & George gear and still be OK. The porkers? Well, you guessed it, they won't be able to fly unless nearly naked and carrying no more than a toothbrush and deodorant. Many will simply not be able to fly, so the airport will be a lot quieter. The holiday trade in the UK will boom as the heifers re-acquaint themselves with the Kiss-Me-Quick hat, radiation contaminated shellfish and shifty B&B owners. After a few years of that, they may even decide to get healthy - the benefits for the nation are endless. And all the while, I will be sunning my ar$e laughing at them...I think I could be on to something here?
