Be your own Boris

[Nick]

http://www.fandmpublications.co.uk/pages/borisjohnsonquote.htm

[Snoopy]

Very humouresque ..... but he is still a better bet than Red Ken

[Nick]

My transport policy is devotes considerable airtime to investigations into lap dancing, and other related and vital subjects. Portsmouth is too full of drugs, obesity, underachievement, Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3.

[Snoopy]

My transport policy is devotes considerable airtime to investigations into lap dancing, and other related and vital subjects. Portsmouth is too full of drugs, obesity, underachievement, Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3.

Coming from Southampton I can find no fault with that description of Portsmouth and if anything will increase the size of Mrs S#2's breasts it gets my vote. The BMW I can manage without. 

[The Moan Ranger]

Good, but there is a certain class about this generator:-

http://www.william-shakespeare.org.uk/a2-shakespeare-insult-generator.htm

"Thou sanctimonious reeling-ripe hag-seed!"   

[Nick]

That too sounds like Boris!