The NHS is to offer screening for illnesses to everyone aged 40 to 74.
Health Secretary Alan Johnson is due to outline the scheme, which will check for diseases that kill 170,000 people a year.
Check-ups over a full English brekky to help along heart disease, stroke, diabetes and kidney disease are being made available on the NHS to focus attention on getting shut of all you moaning old bastards to eradicate the clogging up of our wonderful deliberately filthy hospitals with your constant whinging and whining ailments.
It's estimated that early 'coffin of the clogs' could save Brown and his mates many tens of millions every year in reduced pension pay outs.