Eeeeyes! Well no actually.

[GROWLER]

I got all excited and very optomistic for a nano second yesterday afternoon.
Was having an unwinding nap, when I was rudely awoken by my phone. First time it had rung all day.

" Hello. Mr Growler?"

"Yea, what?"

"Autoexpress magazine here. You filled out our on line car survey recently, with the chance to win £22,000 in our free draw."

I nearly choked on the spot, and so so briefly in my weary half awake imagination, stupidly imagined that he was about to say, "congratulations, you've won!!"
I stupidly really did believe it, and felt a sudden surge of near heart stopping optomism and anticipation, that I haven't experienced since my first fumble decades ago. Very pleasant, but very short lived.

" You've been nominated to receive 6 copies of Autoexpress for just £1 each, and if you say yes, you'll also receive a handy emergency tool kit FREE!"

"You've just woken me up to SELL me something?

"Goodbye."

Threw the phone across the room, and resumed my nightmare about " "The roll of linolium from hell"

[Snoopy]

B@st@rds 

[Barman]

How is the lino? 

[GROWLER]

How is the lino? 

It has been a tad troublesome tbqh.

I'd have lined the kitchen floor with a deep and white wooly fleece    if I had won, just to piss Mrs G right off.

[Barman]

How is the lino? 

It has been a tad troublesome tbqh.

I'd have lined the kitchen floor with a deep and white wooly fleece    if I had won, just to piss Mrs G right off.

You'd have to saw about 4" off the bottom of the door then... 

[GROWLER]

How is the lino? 

It has been a tad troublesome tbqh.

I'd have lined the kitchen floor with a deep and white wooly fleece    if I had won, just to piss Mrs G right off.

You'd have to saw about 4" off the bottom of the door then... 

Thanks for that BM. You've just reminded me that that IS the job that I said I'd do 'in a minute' earlier on this morning. 
Mrs G will no doubt be expecting it done by the time she's finished her shopping trip into Chester, buying more trouble creating shite no doubt.
She'll be sorely disapointed, as i really cannot be arsed.

She'll be back to watch this bloody nag jumping contest, so I'll creep out then and disappear up my favourit big 'ill for two or three hours.

These new Berghaus boots are fantastic, but they need a bit more of a 'breaking in'

[GROWLER]

She'll be back to watch this bloody nag jumping contest, so I'll creep out then and disappear up my favourit big 'ill for two or three hours.

These new Berghaus boots are fantastic, but they need a bit more of a 'breaking in'

Well that actually put me back into a very good mood. Beautiful up there this avvy, made all the sweeter by following a very nice young bit of fluff, with a denim covered arse to die of indigestion for.

I highly recommend this walkin' in the hills malarky. You really do meet a better class of human....and crumpet, and they always smile and say hello too.

Meanwhile, reality beckoned, and upon my return with a darkening cloud hanging over Growler Towers, Mrs G was waiting for a full report as to why the kitchen door still wouldn't close, and the linolium was going to get damaged if it wasn't fixed urgently? 

" Cus I haven't fixed it yet, THAT'S why! In a minute, OK?"

Wimmen. Haven't they got ANYTHING better to do than give us grief, and knock out the sweet memories of my afternoon follwing 'lucious buttocks',and smile off my face?

[Snoopy]

And if I remember rightly your favourite big hill means that you have to drive within a few miles of the kennel. You could always phone and say "put the kettle on" you know.

[GROWLER]

And if I remember rightly your favourite big hill means that you have to drive within a few miles of the kennel. You could always phone and say "put the kettle on" you know.

It really was gorgeous up there this avvy Snoop. 
Hardly anyone there, but got talking to a Duke of E awards leader who was guiding some grot sprogs on a 2 day march and camp.
We sat there drinking coffee and talking about the hills mountains and experiences we've had out in them.
 Lovely, and so nice to talk to a real normal human with a sense of adventure equality and humour
The only brief disturbance was when one of the girlies hollered F. OFF to one of her mates.
After Mr D.O.E . leader came back down, he told me her christian name was actually 'Heaven'!
I nearly pissed meself!

[Darwins Selection]

And if I remember rightly your favourite big hill means that you have to drive within a few miles of the kennel. You could always phone and say "put the kettle on" you know.

It really was gorgeous up there this avvy Snoop. 
Hardly anyone there, but got talking to a Duke of E awards leader who was guiding some grot sprogs on a 2 day march and camp.
We sat there drinking coffee and talking about the hills mountains and experiences we've had out in them.
 Lovely, and so nice to talk to a real normal human with a sense of adventure equality and humour
The only brief disturbance was when one of the girlies hollered F. OFF to one of her mates.
After Mr D.O.E . leader came back down, he told me her christian name was actually 'Heaven'!
I nearly pissed meself!

Oh yes! The old camp fire song "Have you ever been in Heaven . ." (on roller skates that roll right past those pearly gates)

Brown Owl, bring me another damper. 

[Snoopy]

We have a mountain outside the front door Growler, we live about a third or so of the way up it. Few ever climb to the top but it has views (so I am told) that take in the whole of the Vale of Clwyd, there are a couple of quarries to peer into and on a clear day you can see Anglesey. A guide map of the route up can be supplied and your car left here whilst you tackle it. It takes about 30 to 45 mins from my front door to reach the top.
Nick knows the way to the kennel ~ should you fancy it.

[Barman]

She'll be back to watch this bloody nag jumping contest, so I'll creep out then and disappear up my favourit big 'ill for two or three hours.

These new Berghaus boots are fantastic, but they need a bit more of a 'breaking in'

Well that actually put me back into a very good mood. Beautiful up there this avvy, made all the sweeter by following a very nice young bit of fluff, with a denim covered arse to die of indigestion for.

I highly recommend this walkin' in the hills malarky. You really do meet a better class of human....and crumpet, and they always smile and say hello too.

Meanwhile, reality beckoned, and upon my return with a darkening cloud hanging over Growler Towers, Mrs G was waiting for a full report as to why the kitchen door still wouldn't close, and the linolium was going to get damaged if it wasn't fixed urgently? 

" Cus I haven't fixed it yet, THAT'S why! In a minute, OK?"

Wimmen. Haven't they got ANYTHING better to do than give us grief, and knock out the sweet memories of my afternoon follwing 'lucious buttocks',and smile off my face?

She was prolly a police woman on a 'sting' operation to catch flashers...