The things they say ~ Bless them

[Snoopy]

A teacher asks her class to use the word "contagious".

Roland the teacher's pet gets up and says, "Last year I got the measles and my mum said it was contagious."

"Well done, Roland," says the teacher. "Can anyone else try?"

Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says there's a bug going round, and it's contagious."

"Well done, Katie," says the teacher. "Anyone else?"

Little Sean jumps up and says in a broad Dublin accent, "Our next door neighbour is painting her house with a 2-inch brush, and my dad says it will take the contagious."

[Pastis]

 

It took me a 2nd read though; must be my weak Dublin accent 

[Darwins Selection]

"Daddy, Daddy, Mummy nearly died today"

"What!!"

"Yes, she was on the kitchen floor shouting 'God, I'm coming' and if Uncle Gerry hadn't been lying on her I think she would have gone"

[Nick]

Discussing future career options The Boy discounted being a doctor on the grounds that it was "too risky".

When we enquired why he explained, "You might cut someone's head off."

[Barman]

Discussing future career options The Boy discounted being a doctor on the grounds that it was "too risky".

When we enquired why he explained, "You might cut someone's head off."