Another One For DS

[Snoopy]

A man owned a small farm.

The Department of Employment claimed he was not paying proper wages to his staff and sent one of their officials to interview him.

"I need details of all the farm's employees and how much you pay them" demanded the official.

"Well" replied the farmer, "there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him £200 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the cook, she has been here for 18 months, and I pay her £150 per week plus free room and board."

 "Anyone else?" snapped the civil servant

"There is the half-wit." Said the farmer "He works about 18 hours a day 7 days a week and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about £10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of whiskey every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."

" Ah-ha!" crows the official, "That's the man I want to talk to...the half-wit."

"That would be me." replied the farmer.

[Pastis]

 

[Darwins Selection]

Is this a documentary?

[Bar Wench]

Yes dear.

[Darwins Selection]

 

[Just One More]

A farm hand radios back to the farm manager. 'Boss, I gotta helluva problem here. I hit a pig with the 4wd.
The pig's OK, but he's stuck in the bullbars at the front of the car and is wriggling and squealing so much I can't get him out.'
The manager says,'Ok, there's a ..303 rifle behind the seat.
Take it, shoot the pig in the head and you'll be able to remove him.'
Five minutes later the farm hand calls back, 'I did what you said boss. Took the 303, shot the pig in the head and removed him from the bull-bars. No problem there, but I still can't go on'.
'Now what's the problem?' raged the Manager.
'Well boss, it's his motor-bike. The flashing blue light is stuck  under the right-front wheel arch.'

'...............You there Boss?




 

[Barman]

 

[Snoopy]