An old man goes into a Chemists to buy some Viagra
'Can I have 6 tablets, cut in quarters?'
'I can cut them for you' said Dan the pharmacist, but a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection. '
'I'm 96' said the old man. 'I don't want an erection, I just want it sticking out far enough so I don't piss on my slippers.'