Author Topic: Scottish Logic  (Read 863 times)

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Offline Just One More

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Scottish Logic
« on: November 30, 2008, 10:22:22 AM »
A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, 'I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that yourmother and I are divorcing; forty-seven years of misery is enough.'

'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.
We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the father says.
'We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.'

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. 'Like hell they're getting divorced,' she shouts, 'I'll take care of this,'
She calls Scotland immediately, and screams at her father, 'You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?' and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. 'Okay,' he says, 'they're coming for Christmas and they're paying their own way.'
 
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Pastis

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Re: Scottish Logic
« Reply #1 on: December 01, 2008, 03:09:15 PM »
 lol: lol:  I have just the friend to tell that to... a Glaswegian  ;)
Like the Buddhist said to the hot dog vendor...
"Make me one with everything"

Offline Bar Wench

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Re: Scottish Logic
« Reply #2 on: December 01, 2008, 03:58:35 PM »
I sent it to Mother Wench. She offered to pay for my flight home. I now feel guilty.  redface:

Offline Snoopy

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Re: Scottish Logic
« Reply #3 on: December 01, 2008, 04:34:27 PM »
I sent it to Mother Wench. She offered to pay for my flight home. I now feel guilty.  redface:

Never learn do you?  ::)
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Scottish Logic
« Reply #4 on: December 01, 2008, 06:11:27 PM »
I sent it to Mother Wench. She offered to pay for my flight home. I now feel guilty.  redface:

The guilt will fade. . .

Buy her a trinket and give an above average hug when you see her, old ladies always fall for that.
I mostly despair

Offline Bar Wench

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Re: Scottish Logic
« Reply #5 on: December 01, 2008, 06:25:45 PM »
She has a Christmas box of goodies that will be leaving my office next week.  cloud9:

Brother Wench has bought her ....... a foot spa.  ::)

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Scottish Logic
« Reply #6 on: December 01, 2008, 06:32:43 PM »
She has a Christmas box of goodies that will be leaving my office next week.  cloud9:

Brother Wench has bought her ....... a foot spa.  ::)

I expect she has always wanted one.  ::)
I mostly despair

Online Nick

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Re: Scottish Logic
« Reply #7 on: December 01, 2008, 06:39:44 PM »
Assuming she has smelly feet  angel1
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: Scottish Logic
« Reply #8 on: December 01, 2008, 08:22:59 PM »
When they fitted my first ICD they gave me a long list of things I was to avoid as they would cause problems. I was to avoid Nuclear reactors, Arc welding, Strong Magnetic fields (metal detectors and security screening devices) and Footspas

I am still seeking an explanation for the last item   rubschin:
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.