My favourite was the Letter from a Tyrolean Landlord:
Standing among savage scenery the hotel offers stupendous revelations.There is a French widow in every bedroom, affording delightful prospects. There is a balcony overlooking the romantic gorge, and I hope you want to drop in.
I give personal look to the interior wants of each guest. Here you shall be well fed up and agreeably drunk. Having once sampled our fooding you will surely wish to enlarge your stays.
Numerous bad rooms. Full drainage. Our charges for weekly visitors are scarcely creditable. Peculiar arrangements for gross parties. Our motto is ever, "Serve you right."
Could be the VP, I suppose,