Count to 10

[Nick]

Paddy was working at the fish plant in Cork when he accidentally cut off all 10 of his fingers.
 
He went to the emergency room in Cork 's hospital.
 
 
 
The doctor looked at Paddy and said, 'Lets be avin' da fingers and I'll see what oi can do'.
 
Paddy said, 'Oi haven't got da fingers.'
 
 
 
'Whadda ya mean you haven't got da fingers? Lord Tunderin' Jesus, it's 2008! We's got
 
microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have put dem back on and made you
 
like new! Why didn't ya bring da fingers?!?'
 
 
 
And Paddy said, ' How da fock was I 'spose to pick dem up?'
 

[Miss Demeanour]

There was an article in the local newspaper the other day. The four members of the Murphy family, mother , father and 2 children had died in tragic circumstances.

They had been queuing outside the local Odeon for the first showing of "Closed for Winter " and all had all frozen to death 

[Nick]

Weekend off, is it?

[Miss Demeanour]

Weekend off, is it?

Oh yeah...


and there's more