Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeferkinventually they decided on One Steak Pie n Chips, One Chicken Pie n Chips, I Egg Fried Rice + four vegetarian spring rolls, One Chicken Chow Mein. Easy? .......
........The Steak pie merchant doesn't like the pies that the Chinese chippy sells, There is only one place that sells vegetarian spring rolls that meet with the THW's approval and they don't sell pies or chips and I have got so fed up waiting that I have had a slice of cheese on toast and no longer want anything else to eat.
So I go to the furthest away and order the Chinese food, whilst waiting I
look at the tits on page 3 of the Sun glance at the daily papers on the counter and use my mobile to pre-empt further delays by calling ahead to the favoured chippy to place an order. Smells emanating from the Chinese kitchen convince me I am still peckish and that only a kebab will do for me so I also phone the Kebab Shack "and don't spare the chilli sauce".
45 mins after leaving home I return like the hunter back from the hills, the fisherman back from the sea ..... I have done my duty and fetched home the bacon. I have been to three shops and eaten my kebab whilst driving. My tongue has lost all sensation, my eyes are streaming but I have come through for the family ..... who barely glance up from watching Top Gear on BBC3 whilst I get out plates, tip food onto them and carry steaming platters of provender to the TV watchers. No bugger says thank you ..... I am now miffed.
