THE TWELVE DAYS
OF CHRISTMAS …
On the 1st day of Christmas my GP gave to me,
A box of Loperamide and
A referral to the local A+E,
On the 2nd day of Christmas A+E gave to me,
2 bags of saline,
A box of Loperamide,
And a referral to the Gastro team,
On the 3rd day of Christmas the Gastros gave to me,
A large dose of bowel prep,
2 bags of saline,
A box of Loperamide,
And an urgent x ray,
On the 4th day of Christmas the imaging department gave to me,
40 internal images,
A large dose of bowel prep
2 bags of saline,
A box of Loperamide,
And returned me to the ward.
On the 5th day of Christmas the ward gave to me,
5 lots of antibiotics,
40 internal images,
A large dose of bowel prep
2 bags of saline,
A box of Loperamide,
And referred me to the doctor on call
On the 6th day of Christmas the doctor gave to me,
6 painkilling injections
5 lots of antibiotics,
40 internal images,
A large dose of bowel prep
2 bags of saline,
A box of Loperamide,
And informed the 2nd on call
On the 7th day of Christmas 2nd on call gave to me,
7 medications,
6 painkilling injections
5 lots of antibiotics,
40 internal images,
A large dose of bowel prep
2 bags of saline,
A box of Loperamide,
And referral to the dietician.
On the 8th day of Christmas the dietician gave to me,
8 portions of supplements,
7 medications,
6 painkilling injections
5 lots of antibiotics,
40 internal images,
A large dose of bowel prep,
2 bags of saline,
A box of Loperamide,
And referral to the hospital chaplain
On the 9th day of Christmas the chaplain gave to me,
9 Christmas Carols, 8 portions of supplements,
7 medications, 6 painkilling injections
5 lots of antibiotics, 40 internal images,
A large dose of bowel prep, 2 bags of saline,
A box of Loperamide,
And referral to the catering team
On the 10th day of Christmas the catering team gave to me,
10 different menus, 9 Christmas Carols,
8 portions of supplements, 7 medications,
6 painkilling injections, 5 lots of antibiotics,
40 internal images, A large dose of bowel prep,
2 bags of saline, A box of Loperamide,
And referral to hotel services
On the 11th day of Christmas hotel services gave to me,
11 cups of Coffee, Tea , Hot Chocolate, etc
10 different menus, 9 Christmas Carols,
8 portions of supplements, 7 medications,
6 painkilling injections, 5 lots of antibiotics,
40 internal images, A large dose of bowel prep,
2 bags of saline, A box of Loperamide,
And referral to Infection Control
On the 12th day of Christmas Infection Control came to me,
And said,
“You’ve got a bad case of campylobacter probably from your
Christmas meal,” keep taking the,
11 cups of Coffee, Tea, Hot Chocolate, etc
10 different menus,
9 Christmas Carols,
8 portions of supplements,
7 medications,
6 painkilling injections
5 lots of antibiotics,
40 internal images,
A large dose of bowel prep,
2 bags of saline,
A box A box of Loperamide,
And make sure you wash your hands
Happy Christmas & Best of Luck for 2011, from Infection Control Team
