Have we got Nick all wrong here? Or even have we got all wrong Nick here?
His OP says "the barstard" so it must have been his own letter box. So shurely he was
- trying to get back in having lost key in his own pockets
- sticking fingers up at passers by
- making suggestive noises through letterbox at attractive neighbour
or even all 3
Useless counsel for the defence rests m'lud