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"Your hair's looking a bit thin at the front," she says. She turns to the boy. "Your father is losing his hair, I'm afraid.""I'm married," I say. "I no longer need hair.""He has to say that because he's going bald.""She's just trying to flatten my self-esteem," I tell the boy. "She can't help it. It's her life's purpose.""She's like a self-esteem roller," he says."That's very good," I say. "I can use that."My wife glares at both of us."No, you cannot use it," she says. "I'm not allowing it. You cannot write that I am like a self-esteem roller.""Yes I can," I say. "I can use it if I want." I look at the boy. "Can't I?" He thinks for a minute."Five pounds," he says finally."Done," I say.