Fasting blood tests

[Darwins Selection]

She is tenacious and has clearly got her teeth into my liver. She wants me to have a liver scan now 

[Barman]

She is tenacious and has clearly got her teeth into my liver. She wants me to have a liver scan now 

 

[Nick]

Had some a couple of weeks back. Quack demands a face to face in the morning to "discuss" the results.

Why do I feel a wrist slapping coming on with the inevitable "How much do you drink" question? 

[Barman]

Had some a couple of weeks back. Quack demands a face to face in the morning to "discuss" the results.

Why do I feel a wrist slapping coming on with the inevitable "How much do you drink" question? 

 

[Nick]

QUack: Here are your blood test results and they are all fine, though your liver reading is slightly elevated. How much do you drink?

I lie and she knows that I am lying. We move on.

Your blood sugar is also a bit elevated. Can you cut down on sugar.

Me: I never buy sugar and I do not eat chocolate.

QUack: What about fruit?

Me: Oh yes, lots of fruit. It is good for you, you know

QUack: No, it is full of sugar!!! Cut down on fruit!!

 

[Barman]

QUack: Here are your blood test results and they are all fine, though your liver reading is slightly elevated. How much do you drink?

I lie and she knows that I am lying. We move on.

Your blood sugar is also a bit elevated. Can you cut down on sugar.

Me: I never buy sugar and I do not eat chocolate.

QUack: What about fruit?

Me: Oh yes, lots of fruit. It is good for you, you know

QUack: No, it is full of sugar!!! Cut down on fruit!!

 

 


Lay off the booze for three days before the test - that fools them! 

[Nick]

I am too bizzy cutting out FRUIT!!! 

[Steve]

Must sell those banana futures