An octopus walks into a bar and orders a drink. Whilst at the bar, it turns to the other drinkers and says "I can play any musical instrument in the world!"
Most of the drinkers just ignored this but a few of them decided to put it to the test.
Pete, and Englishman walks up to the octopus with a guitar. The octopus takes the guitar, and plays it brilliantly, better than Hendrix.
Paddy, an Irishman walks up to the octopus wheeling a piano. The octopus sits down and plays it fantastically, better than Elton John.
Jock, a Scotsman walks up to the octopus and throws it a set of bagpipes. The octopus fumbles around for a few minutes and the Scotsman shouts "What's wrong? Can ye no play it?"
The octopus says "Play it? I'm gonna f*ck her brains out once I can get her pyjamas off!"
