Zen Sarcasm
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Jesus, can't you take a hint, just bonk off and leave me alone.
It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their
shoes.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night !
If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs then you probably don't understand what's really happening.
The journey of a 1000 miles starts with a single step into a taxi that takes you to the airport
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.....
Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield....
Never test the depth of the water with both feet...
Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
Its you and me against the world ?quick run.
Sarcasm..........it has it's good points
Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else....
It's cruel and unjust to execute a man with a wooden leg ... you should always use a rope or an axe or an electric chair
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die
He who thinks that all mankind is inherently good has obviously never had a Saturday night out in Wigan
