My wife and I were at my school reunion and I kept staring at a drunken woman swigging her drink, as she sat alone at a nearby table.
"Do you know her?" asked my wife.
"Yes," I sighed. "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she started drinking right after we split up all those years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.
"My God!" said my wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"