Which reminds me of a story about a lady of ill repute, a duffle coat and an ossifer of the law.
Many , many years ago, whilst drinking in a rather seedy pub I was attracted to a lady sporting a rather attractive camel coloured duffle coat. I was pissed I must admit, but you know what beer and raging hormones can do. I seem to remember that the duffle coat was the only attractive thing about her .
Nevertheless I invited her outside so that I could give her the benefit having crossed her palm with coins of the realm. Being an arrogant young squaddie I gave her the stock warning, "When I flop it out dahling, dont stare at it too long, it senses fear" She sniggered, I sensed that someone else had been using my fav chat-up line.
Being of the Catholic persuasion I was well into the rythmn method when I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was a bobby who subsequently arrested me for having an offensive person on my weapon. Oh happy days!
