Chicken breasts

[Pastis]

I'm trying to do the right thing, really I am. I said, no problem, I'd cook dinner early then we can go out if you like.

So, it's grilled chicken breasts and other assorted bits (not chicken). The breasts turn out to be massive, gargantuan, like a pair of beached whales on the chopping board. I begin to flatten them with the kitchen gavel / meat tenderiser thingy but they're getting bigger and bigger!

Flip 'em over, bang, bang... they're almost over the edge of the chopping board now, and they're still as thick as prime steaks.

Perhaps they'll shrink on the grill? If they'll fit to begin with... how much banging on the breasts is acceptable and how thin should they be?

 

[Nick]

 

[Snoopy]

You should have "Butterflied" them ..... No it is not a Chinese method. Slit along the length of the underside of the breast with a sharp knife but do not cut all the way ~ then open out flat and grill?griddle.
Next time do not buy chicken breasts that have come from Holland as they tend to "inflate" the bird's breasts with injected water. Basically they are falsies.

[Pastis]

Dutch breasts? 

Filled with water? 

Dykes? 

Bugger. Duped again 

[Snoopy]

Not by me but I see where you are going ............. Actually my brother is a butcher which is how I know about the chicken. I used to do the cooking when we had a pub. I would even, at times, claim to be a chef (though not having qualified that is really  ) but only when compliments were being handed out by the diners.

[Pastis]

Bugger it... they're now marinading with liberal quantities of this stuff

<<<

for good measure.

If I survive the evening I'll drop by for a nightcap

[The Moan Ranger]

Eleven pints, a large chicken breast kebab and a cup of tea later, human again.

The same can't be said for Mrs TMR, who has now retired to bed.

[Pastis]

Where's the snore emoticon when you need it?     

[Snoopy]

  Will this do?

[Pastis]

Nicely, Very nicely thank you